Tag Archives: computer

I can’t think of a title – it’s that sort of day

We just had an interesting problem. Julia is working with an old notepad, or whatever we used to call small computers before we had all the stuff you can get now. You know the one – it looks like a small laptop instead of the current ones, which look like large phones. Having said that, a lot of phones also look like large phones compared to the old-fashioned phones. Life, and fashion, can be strange.

After charging and setting it going she found the screen was upside down. It took ages to sort out, particularly as she can’t read upside down. I can, as it’s a useful skill to have when visiting offices and trying to sell things to people. She was adopting a female approach – logic and trying all the buttons in an orderly fashion. I tried route one – went on my laptop and typed in “upside down screen”. Thirty seconds later the problem was solved. Sometimes a direct approach is best.

I’m now basking in self-congratulation. Julia is, it seems, unmoved by my brilliance.

To be fair, she’s probably still confused that I didn’t try hitting it,which always used to be my preferred option. Over the years I’ve discovered that hitting computers hardly ever works. That’s a feature I’d like to see on modern technology – a special reset switch that activates when you hit the malfunctioning item.

The answer, in case you ever need it, is – Control + Alt + the Up arrow.

I’ve finished my list of local Farmers’ Markets, though it’s likely to be of limited use to most of my readers. If anyone wants a copy (covering approximately a 40 miles radius round Nottingham) let me know and I’ll send you a copy.  There are 26 of them.

The poppy photo? Well, I always like to have a photo if I can, and it seemed seasonal.

Me, moaning about computers and photographing birds

It’s been a strange Sunday. Julia’s laptop has been playing up and refusing to connect to the internet so we went to the computer shop where they told us it would cost £60 to have it sent away, after which they would tell us how much it would cost before we could get it back. Forgive my cynicism but that seems to me to be a good description of how kidnappers operate.

That’s how I ended up looking round Curry’s/PC World looking at new laptops.

It’s also how I ended up sitting in the car whimpering. It’s been an expensive couple of weeks, and the process of spending money

I’m sure it must be possible, bearing in mind the advance of technology and the economics of mass production, to build an acceptable laptop for around £150. We don’t need a terrabyte of memory or the ability to use huge amounts of graphics. We just want to write emails. surf the net and brighten up a few photos.

That’s before I even start on the evils of the new way of selling Microsoft Office. If you own a copy and haven’t replaced your computer in the last few years you’re in for a surprise. You don’t own it now, you just rent it for a year at a time. When your subscription expires you don’t have access to Office.

That’s like buying a car and only renting the ignition key.

After that I had to go to the park and photograph birds.

 

Pictures Loaded, Menu Sorted

I finally worked out how to load pictures from my phone to the blog. I’m sure a five-year-old could do it, but I can’t. When I was that age telephones were attached to walls at home, or red boxes when you were out and about, and you took photos with cameras which had film in them. Just to complete the picture of the technological desert of the 1960s, computers were so big they had their own rooms and TVs showed black and white pictures from a choice of two stations.

Makes you wonder how we got by.

So yesterday’s post now has photos.

It’s time to cook now – Pea and Mint soup (again) for a couple of weekday lunches, Cottage Pie for tonight with lots of healthy green veg, meatballs to be precooked for tomorrow, Sweet Potato and Chickpea Curry to be refrigerated for Tuesday.

I’d better stop watching Pointless and get cooking before I pick Julia up from work or I’ll be in trouble. The fact I got a pointless answer won’t impress a hungry woman.

Staring boredom in the eye

Today, as you can see from the title, I stared boredom in the eye and it was boredom that looked away first.

The main job was going through hundreds of emails and tidying up the mess that we use as an email system. I have saved the ones that have information I need and will attend to them tomorrow.

Then I went on to the computer and cleaned up the documents folder. I’m not very organised so it took a bit of sorting, but eventually I realised I was on top of the job and after that it seemed to fly by.

With that finished, and all the information I need secured on a flash drive, I decided that it was time to treat myself to some time off so I went across to the men in sheds and cadged a cup of tea.

With the sense of achievement that comes from doing a job I’ve spent weeks avoiding, and the warm glow that comes from a free cup of tea, I’m feeling quite pleased with myself.

Julia is having a day off at a spa with my sister. It’s only a couple of miles from the farm so it seemed pointless driving home so I sat down to act like a martyr at the keyboard. I have a sore back now, from too much crouching over a keyboard, but I am happy. We are meeting up later this evening for a meal before my sister goes home, so no cooking and no washing up. What a result.

I did do a piece on this spa last time she went but that was about a year ago and I can’t find it. This is a nuisance as I will have to find some more links, and because I can’t link back to my own post. Linking back to your own posts, as I may have mentioned in this post, is supposed to be a good way of raising your profile in the blogging world.

Here is a brief history of Eden Hall. Scroll down to Elston Towers to find the information. Several people seemed to have blogged about it – try here, and here.

Before starting work I was even able to take a few photos I needed to finish off a post for the other blog. It doesn’t quite rank as something I’ve been putting off, but I haven’t been as industrious as I would like with the food blog, so it’s good to get another post published.

Now, enthused by my confrontation with boredom, I’m going to organise my camera cards.

 

Boiling a frog

We had a power cut yesterday, starting just after lunch and lasting until we went home. At times like that you realise all your work is on computer, and when the wireless connection goes off everything grinds to a halt.

Julia had just started a meeting about The Grant (it is taking over my life to such an extent that I now think of it with capital letter) when everything went dark. Fortunately she had her laptop and a fully charged battery so she was able to carry on.

I filled my time usefully by reading the paper outside on the decking and by taking photographs. That’s when I found another problem with having no computer – I had nothing to view the photos on. It’s so much easier using the computer screen for viewing; the small screen on the camera just isn’t good enough.

When, I asked myself, did I become computerised to the extent that I can’t function without electricity?

And when did I start referring to the  verandah as “decking”?

That’s how it is with change (as exemplified by the tale of the Boiling Frog) – it just creeps up on you without you noticing it.

 

 

A good day for numbers

The first number is 200 – this being my 200th post on this blog. It’s nothing compared to some people, and even I’m not that impressed, but it does give me a pause to count.

I’ve been writing this for 305 days according to my rough mental arithmetic. In that time I have posted twice a day on several occasions. And yet I’ve only managed to average two days in three. Now, I did treat my wife to four days away for our 25th Wedding Anniversary last autumn, but that doesn’t really make much of a dent in the hundred missed days. I’ll just have to hold my hands up to being lazy. But you probably know that by now.

I did think about challenging myself to write 100 posts in 100 consecutive days, but that’s not difficult. It’s easier, for instance, than thinking up 100 titles.  Then there’s the question of quality…

However, moving on to another number – I have now reached 1,000 followers on Twitter. I’ve been looking forward to it for some time, watching the numbers surge forward and drop back and eventually I made it. Now I’m wondering why. There’s some great stuff to read on Twitter, even though it’s hidden under heaps of absolute dross, but half of me wonders if I’m just taking part in a massive exercise in vanity.

It’s ironic that the day I reach a milestone I have hardly tweeted, due to forgetting my card reader. It doesn’t seem right tweeting without pictures (this one won’t be posted until I get home and put the pictures up).

A card reader, for those of you who are accustomed to the finer aspects of technology, is a device you used to plug into a USB port that allows your computer (which still uses Windows XP) to read the card out of your camera. This, by the way, is my level of technology both at home and at work, though I do at least have a working printer at home and I don’t have to lock my stapler away.

I went to look at a new computer a few weeks ago but left because I didn’t like the way the salesman spoke to me. He appeared to think I was prehistoric, and an idiot.. I thought I’d keep my money. As things stand, I have a slow but functioning computer and he has no commission from the missed sale.

One – nil to me, I think.

It’s an age thing

Those of you who are my age (by which I mean you remember when 12 pennies made a shilling, young people didn’t mumble and Gerry Anderson was cutting edge technology) will probably remember a time when computers were going to save is time and we weren’t going to need paper in our offices. Well, the first bit of that is true, because we haven’t had a functioning printer in the office for 12 months and it’s amazing how little printing you really need to do.

The time-saving? It might have been true before the internet but since I’ve been able to shop on Amazon, read reams of useful stuff on Wikipedia and check links such as One man decided to explore an empty cabin…and instantly regretted it (32 photos). It wasn’t instant with me but after 6 boring photos I was starting to have second thoughts and after 32 slowly loaded and dull photos I definitely regretted it. Do not click the link, it is dull enough to kill.

I’ve just wasted half an hour trying to get my computer to type. It just stopped. I tapped harder, but nothing happened. I muttered, I checked the connections at the back (wouldn’t be the first time I’ve had a “computer malfunction” relating to the keyboard or mouse becoming unplugged!), I pressed all the buttons in turn, I started and re-started and started again…

I swore, bashed the keys, told my wife (a) I wasn’t shouting at a machine and (b) that I was perfectly capable of fixing it myself.

Finally, after neither of my assertions proved true, I bashed it harder. Finally, tiring of violence, I breathed deeply and thought peaceful thoughts. Then I noticed that the Alt key seemed lower than the rest.

In the end all it took was one swift dig from a penknife and the complex mass of…er… whatever is in a computer… was rendered functional once more.

A penknife. It’s only one step up from hitting it with a rock!