The Solution Becomes Clear

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The ground subsided and the tree drowned 

I rose just before 6.30 and, an hour later, am still feeling enthusiastic. I have done emails, comments and reading blogs so far. I am feeling good.

Approximately a month ago, plagued by many minor conditions, I was very depressed, worn out and, to be honest, wondering if this was the beginning of the end. People do die at my age, the obituary columns are full of people who don’t make 70. I know this because I started noticing it and had to make myself stop. I started making plans for sorting my life out so all the admin would be  a bit easier for Julia.

Merle Oberon, Jack Johnson, Benny Hill, Edward I, Geoffrey Hughes, Josephine Baker . . .

Trees near Slaidburn

My tastes, I admit, run to the low-brow. But by 68 they had all become famous, then died. I admit Geoffrey Hughes, most famous for playing a bin man in Coronation St (and Hyacinth Bucket’s slobbish brother-in-law in Keeping Up Appearances) may be stretching fame a bit but he was good at what he did.

Then I got better. It doesn’t take much.

Then I became ill again. Fever, cold, coughing, difficulty breathing, exhaustion, lack of appetite, food tasing strange. Having barely recovered from the firs mystery illness I am in the middle of the second, where I have just spent several days sitting in front of TV, mesmerised by the moving colours.  I’ve spent several extra hours in bed each day and have been able to do very little more than a couple of twenty minute slots at the computer. I have also been sitting on the edge of the bed wondering what I am doing (as it’s either getting into bed, or getting out of bed, or putting socks on, or taking them off, the choice is not huge and the answer should be clear.)

Cormorant at Budby Flash

That was the clincher. I did a lot of that when I had Coved.

So I checked the symptoms of Covid. They aren’t 100% reliable, because everything could be a symptom of something else, but staring aimlessly into space with food tasing like sawdust is highly suggestive.

And, as simply as that, the mist lifts and, having put a name to my condition, I am now feeling better again. Humans are strange things.

Heron at Clumber Park

 

Building a Blog Post

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greylag Goose

I’ve had two goes at a post and both of them became tedious rants. So I’m now going to have a go at laying 250 words end to end and see what happens. It’s a bit like bricklaying, though not as you may know it. Traditionally, bricklaying involves straight lines, tidy joints and a feeling that you are looking at something that will last for generations.

Bricklaying as I usually do it, is slightly different. My course undulate like a sea with a gentle swell, my joints are  quite clearly the work of an ungifted amateur and you are left with the feeling that it will last, if you are lucky, until you get off the site. It’s a skill I never quite mastered.

And that’s what you are going to see on this page. Two hundred and fifty words which undulate and zig-zag and give the impression they are about o fall down at any time.

Canada Goose

Did you know there was such a thing as Brick Tax at one time in the UK? It should be more widely known as it’s such a bizarre thing. It lead, for instance, to laws defining the size of a brick, as people started using bigger bricks to avoid paying so much tax. It’s a fascinating subject once you get into it. I will now be looking out for houses with bigger bricks so I can bore Julia with tales of brick tax. That’s also why they have thatched mud walls in Whittlesey, a small town about 10 miles from here. I have pictured it in the blog before.

And there you go – two false starts on political subjects are swept aside by a post featuring anecdotes about my awful bricklaying  and trivia about bricks. Sometimes I wonder why I bother . . .

Egyptian Goose

Failing to Move On

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Mute Swan – Rufford Abbey

I did some of the stuff on my list this morning, walked round the house, had a cup of tea and some porridge, had a rest (I’m trying to pace myself back to full speed) and watched a bit of TV. This became Bargain Hunt, a bacon sandwich and more TV. So far, I am being very successful at the elements of my plan which stress rest, relaxation and not rushing back to full production too soon.

If I’m honest, the parts of the plan which involve being more industrious and more productive are not progressing quite as well.

Mute Swans at Budby Flash

And that, I’m afraid, is where the blog post comes to a natural end. Ninety nine words. I’m not exactly brimming with creativity today.  This is a shame as I was hoping o show steady progress each day now I am recovering, but it hasn’t quite worked like that. It’s gradually sliding around to submissions time, and the clock is ticking on my medallion talk and I am grinding to a halt when I need to unleash my creativity and pounce on each day with vigour.

We had a goldfinch in the garden this morning for the second time this week. That’s three sightings in two weeks so they may be returning from wintering in the south. That’s the advantage of noting things down, patterns build up.

I just did the shopping – I will have to write a menu before I finalise my shopping list, but it’s started and I have my time slot booked.

That really doesn’t seem like much success to report for a day.

Swan at National Arboretum

 

The Ideas Factory

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After a good night, much of which was passed actually asleep, I find that ideas are starting to fire up. It is, as I think I said a few posts ago, a case of the more ideas you have, the more you get. They aren’t always sensible, practical or even sane, but they are all ideas. I initially wanted to call my first idea Tommy II, a rock opera set in the Scottish Borders. However, there may be a conflict with the (currently) better known Who effort of the same name.

I then went for Recycled! as it would fit well with current Disney offerings and anything that increases the takings would be welcome. I’m in it for the cash rather than the artistry and the storytelling.

Barbie led to a worldwide shortage of pink paint, well Recycled! is going to do the same for tweed. Originally I thought of a finale which relied on friction between Gore-Tex fabric causing sparks (an idea which came from a trip my dad and I had in our winter bird-watching jackets along an undulating Fen road in a Morris Ital.  The Ital was famous for many things but interior space wasn’t one of them (or build quality, style or reliability, to be honest). We spent several miles with out sleeves audibly rubbing, and the image has stuck for almost 40 years.  I think that at the time I was about 30 and my dad about 58. I am significantly older now than he was then. There must be something about memory I can write, but it’s not quite clear at the moment.

 

Anyway, the finale with the fiery finish has been rewritten, as I can’t see tweed exploding into flames. It could, on the other hand, produce a comfortably nostalgic feeling that persists as millions of Hen Harriers descend on Scotland, after a long journey from a distant galaxy, and demand to see our Leader, who turns out to be the wife of our cycling hero. The final scene sees her being thanked for her efforts to establish the Hen Harrier Bridgehead while the fizzing of lasers and shouts of landowners in the distance indicate that the Hen Harriers are righting centuries of human wrongdoing . . .

It started as an original idea, though it does seem to have taken on definite qualities of Batteries Not Included as we get to the finale. That’s how ideas work.

However, my second main idea of the morning – Imaginerobics – may have more chance of success. You sit in your chair, you watch TV, you imagine yourself going down the luge track at Cortina, you feel the camber in the corners and the rattle of the rutted ice, and at the bottom you have had quite a workout. Same for the Curling and a variety of other sports. It sounds quite active. And when it’s over, you reach for the cup of tea and biscuits placed conveniently next to your elbow.

Poetry, you say? No, I’ve had no actual ideas for poetry, but that’s the thing about ideas, you can generate them, but you can’t control the ones you get.

 

A question to provoke more ideas – why don’t waterbirds get cold bottoms?

The Glittering Prize

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The world continues to offer glittering prizes to those who have stout hearts and sharp swords
F E Smith, Lord Birkenhead

I thought I’d quote Smith for the title, but make it plain I had done so. I didn’t want you to think I’d just nicked the title off the telly, though this is probably unlikely as I just looked it up and find it aired in 1976. hardly a current reference.

I needed a title with “prize” in it as I just won a poetry prize. It’s a poem of the issue award from Eucalypt, a tanka magazine. Every issue, they have two, chosen by the winners of the previous issue’s awards. I now have a commentary on my work and my subscription has been extended by an issue. More worryingly for a man with a very lacklustre education, I have select a winner from the next issue and supply a commentary for it. The one supplied for mine was insightful. The one supplied for the other winner was decidedly erudite. The one about mine used the word trochee. It’s something like 53 years since I last used the word trochee. I’m pretty sure I only used it once then.

As I grow in confidence as a poet I no longer worry about imposter syndrome and am sure I will mange to write an acceptable commentary. I can blog, I can write poetry and I can write about coins, how difficult can it be? I’ll need a few quotes to fill up the space but as long as I get down to it promptly I should be OK.

In the meantime, I should get on with my medallion presentation and making lunch ready for Julia’s return. The poem was a about the stripy shed on the MENCAP Gardens – that’s the pictures today.

I now, of course, regret not taking a photo of the whole shed instead of being arty.

My Winter Sports Career

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Yesterday I briefly allowed myself to daydream an entire new life for myself as a Winter Olympian. I quite like Curling, I can use a brush and, as a married man, am accustomed to taking orders from a woman. The Mixed Doubles would be a good fit. Unfortunately, after looking at the state of the man in our mixed doubles team after all his brushing, I was unable to see myself surviving that much effort. It’s clearly an awful lot harder than it looks.

Then I watched the ski and snowboard events. I’m not even sure what the actually call them, but they are like going down a ski jump and doing skateboard tricks so high up they use a drone the film them. I initially thought the black marks on the screen were litter blowing across the slope when they started off, but it turned out to be the shadows of the drones. It’s all very strange.

SO that left Luge. I mean, you do it whilst lying down and the slope does the rest. How difficult can that be? The worst bit would surely be wearing those stripy skin-tight suits, wouldn’t it. Well it seems there’s a bit more to it than that. The 95mpg speeds are a bit off-putting and the inability to see the bends. It seems you have to memorise them. And be consistent. So quick, and consistent, with the ability to see thorough soles of your feet. Possibly not for me either.

So I sat at home, watched TV, made a few notes and felt much refreshed by the end of the day. I was even able to read some blogs, answer comments, write some poems and do emails. Not the most active of days, but a definite step back on the way to health.

 

A Post in Need of a Snappy Title

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I’ve not been 100% since the beginning of the week, and though I seem to have managed to do plenty, when I look at my lists, I did spend a lot of time sleeping.  I’d been a bit under the weather the week before and just thought this was my body catching up. However, I kept sleeping and started to have trouble sleeping, sometimes waking up in a fever. It was not quite time to seek medical assistance, but it was very close.

It can be very difficult, having been in hospital earlier last year I didn’t want to start panicking either. You can’t call an ambulance every time you feel poorly. I’m still a bit tired, but otherwise everything seems to be OK. If I continue to feel well I will do nothing. If I continue to be vaguely unwell, I will call the doctor. It’s very annoying not really having symptoms and not being able to call it anything.” Flu”, is good, “a virus” is good too, but “under he weather” and ” a general feeling of being unwell” are not so good.

Ah well, it’s old age and taking immunosuppressants. It’s just that I hadn’t though I’d be old so soon. My retirement, as envisaged until about ten years ago, was a lot of walking and sightseeing. The last few days, I have actually found it hard work walking round the house.

The good news (I always like to finish on a positive note) is that I really haven’t felt like eating for he last three days and am hoping that I am going to lose some weight. I’m hoping to continue that by working on lower portion sizes. I’m having porridge today, though I’m not particularly hungry – Julia thinks I need to eat, and porridge is healthy and I like it. Hopefully this will do me for today and she will stop banging on about me having to eat.

Breakfast – 3 fruits plus wheat

The pictures are Weetabix (or TESCO own brand Weetabix, to be accurate), not porridge, but it’s the closest I can get.

What I Did Today.

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After writing the post yesterday I beans on toast with scrambled eggs. Protein, fibre and tastes good. I resisted the lure of bacon.

I checked my comments and email a couple of times more and spent time on a piece about Cromwell’s Head. I then made a light lunch and Julia went out. I stayed in and cooked Pasta Bake, Cheese, Onion and garlic Soda Bread and Rock Buns.

The bread took more liquid than usual and needed longer to cook. I think it was the new flour – needed more liquid. It was close to being undercooked, but just squeaked in as acceptable.

The rock buns were far too soft and  far too flat and smooth. They weren’t rock buns, but they were very nice biscuits. Somewhere there will already be a recipe on the net for them with a traditional name. They start with this recipe and I substitute 100g of vegetable oil for the 125g of butter. I also had to cut up about 60g of apricots to use as dried fruit as I was short of that too.

All in all, not very productive. Tomorrow I will prioritise the writing I have been avoiding. That’s the trouble with a list – you can still avoid things and tell yourself all is going OK.

It’s like the talk I’m preparing. I felt good at getting a complete outline down on paper, but I have not done anything much since, I really need to work at it a little each day. However, i cooked and baked today, which is good. It keeps me moving and adds to my repertoire.

No photos of the rock bun biscuits I’m afraid, they were just too good. Maybe next time.

Relearning How to Bake

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Grantham Gingerbread

I did my plan last night. Again, not much of one, but it seems to work.

I rose at 6.30, checked emails (there were 2), did comments, found Derrick Knight was  already up and commenting, caught up with blog posts from the last few days and find it is now 8.06. So I checked my emails again – nothing. Checked my comments again and about a dozen had come in.

I’ve finished that now and it’s time to move on with the rest of my day. It is grey, windy and spotting with rain outside. I am inside feeling smug.

The original plan was to write this post later in the day, but if I do it now I can avoid doing something more useful. Sometimes it seems like planning just isn’t for me. I’m slightly distracted because my stomach feels it is time for breakfast  This is a real dilemma. The words “Morton’s Fork” came o mind. The thought of cutlery made my mouth water.

If I make breakfast I risk waking Julia before she is ready to get up. This may make her less than sunny. When woken earlier than she wants, she is more Paddington than Pooh, and tends to stare across the breakfast table. But if I leave it much longer, she will get up, prepare breakfast and make me eat something full of healthy fibre. Healthy fibre is all very well but it doesn’t quite beat a cooked breakfast. Anyway, I will be cooking Mediterranean vegetables tonight, probably as a pasta bake, and that is enough of a high fibre penance.

Gingerbread Men

Talking of which, I have another dilemma. Do I bake cheese, onion and garlic soda bread to go with it, or try my new idea – Stilton and Leek soda bread. Or, lazily, do I chip the pack of frozen garlic bread from its icy tomb and try that.

I’m also considering doing rock buns. I’ve been thinking of them for a while. but I’m not sure if I can substitute oil for butter and the internet is mostly silent on the subject. I don’t really want to do rock buns, I want to do Fat Rascals, but it’s probably better to start simple. Some of the comments make me think that they won’t be successful with oil, so we will have to see. I can’t really do recipes where you do the flour and butter between your fingers and I can’t be bothered to get out the food processor, use it, wash it and put it away. I may just stick to scones and muffins.

Cutting out gingerbread men

Once I was a reasonable baker. It’s hard having to learn it all again.

Cheese, Onion & Garlic Bread – Some Suggestions

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Cheese and spring onion and garlic soda bread – using he green bits

t actually a recipe, more a list of guidelines, suggestions, anecdotes and possibilities relating to the production of an easy way to make bread. It started off as a recipe (from the BBC) but a bit I’ve made it a number of times and have yet to make it the same way twice. However, every variation seems to work. I wouldn’t say it’s foolproof, but so far I haven’t managed to mess it up. However, like sales and poems, you are always judged on the next one, not what you have already done. To be fair, I actually used the recipe as a guideline in the first place as I had no wholemeal flour and no buttermilk. I did have salt and bicarbonate of soda, though I admit I reduced the amount of salt because I always do. Grossly overweight, various health problems, but I always use less salt because it’s a healthy thing to do. It’s like the captain of the Titanic giving a sailor a sticking plaster and telling him to fix the leak.

To start with, you need buttermilk according to the original recipe on the internet. I have also made it by adding lemon juice to milk and by adding yoghurt to milk. In fact, the first time I made this loaf I used milk and lemon juice.

Spring onion and cheese bread using all the onion

To do this, add 1 tablespoon of lemon juice to the milk and leave for ten minutes. That’s four teaspoons or two dessert spoons. I actually used a dessert spoon of lemon juice because I always get mixed up. But it still worked. I’m tempted to say “heaped” spoonfuls and see if anyone actually tries.

You can, according to the internet, also use vinegar to provide the acid, or mix plain yoghurt and milk. The BBC recipe says 50:50 but other suggestions are available.

If you don’t have buttermilk for the soda bread recipe, you can use half-and-half plain yoghurt mixed with milk. You can also use milk that has been soured by stirring in a tablespoon of lemon juice and allowing it to stand for 10 minutes. Some recipes say you will get better results from allowing the milk to get to room temperature However, the chances of me planning that far in advance are small and it worked OK cold.

Bread and margarine – part of my extensive range of serving suggestions

OK – the measurements. Take 12oz plain flour (or All Purpose Flour if you are from USA), half a teaspoon of salt, half a teaspoon of Bicarbonate of Soda, 10oz of buttermilk (or whatever you decide) and mix it.  Do this by adding the dried ingredients and whisking them up with a fork  them make a well in the middle and add 90% of the liquid.

Mix with the fork, add more liquid as necessary and then mix a bit more by hand. Don’t use both hands until you have a\ nice ball of dough – remember to keep one clean for opening ovens etc. Talking of which, when you start, you should pre-heat the oven to 200C or 180C Fan. Or about 400F and 360F.

You should end up with a fairly stiff dough ball of dough. Don’t overwork it. Round it off, pat it down and cut a cross in the top. That might help it cook better, or it may be a way of letting the fairies escape. I personally don’t think it helps it cook any better and just makes the slices a strange shape. And I recommend sweeping the kitchen regularly to get rid of fairies. Half the time my crosses look unimpressive, to say the least.

Cook for 30 minutes or thereabouts. When a tap on the bottom sounds like a drum, it probably isn’t cooked, despite what the books say. It should sound more like a snare drum – a bass drum means it isn’ quite cooked.

JUst ordinary soda bread

IF it’s OK, put i on a rack and cool it until you want to eat it. Try leaving it at least ten minutes as it’s better then.

For cheese and onion bread add about three spring onions cut into quarter inch pieces and about 100g of grated cheese. I buy the ready grated cheddar from the shop. For the garlic, I used one nice big, plump clove just a bit smaller than the top of my thumb, chopped very small.

I’m going to try powdered mustard in it at some point, and possibly Stilton. You can buy books on making soda bread. Some cost over £10. It’s only soda bread, how could you write a book about it?

Got

Bread that came from wet dough – the cross healed up

 

Serving suggestions – in a sandwich, with soup, with stew, with Italian food as toast. Warning – the garlic one is best with Italian food and not good with marmalade.

to go to bed now. If I’ve missed anything out let me know.