Monthly Archives: May 2020

36 Minutes

I have a post mainly written, but it still needs a bit of work. Therefore the post for 23rd May 2020 will be on the subject of having 36 minutes to write and post before midnight. It’s not an original subject as I have written similar posts many times – the only thing that dioffers is the number of minutes.

There have been two bright spots in my day. One was looking at the pictures in the previous three posts. I really enjoyed getting out and sitting in the sun. The second was hunting down a hot water bottle and sitting with my hands wrapped round it. As if by magic my finger joints unlocked and as I type I almost have two trouble-free hands again.

Simple pleasures…

That’s 125 words and I still have 28 minutes left.

There was actually a fourth highlight – when I was able to click “Dismiss” on the screen when it told me I could use the new editor. As it was a couple of days ago I have already linked to that post. I will, however, link to the Arkwright post once more, as I just noticed it whilst linking to the other posts. That was also a high point of the day. There’s something about the incongruity of a tortoise walking along the footpath that means you have to smile even if you don’t like tortoises.

Arkwright the Tortoise

It’s one of those episodes where truth is stranger than fiction. Over the years I’ve written up several such incidents, either as short stories, haibun or poems, and they have always been returned. Once or twice the rejecting editor (the commonest sort) has expressed scepticism about the incident. Sometimes people just don’t appreciate the truth.

Talking of highlights – we had rhubarb and apple crumble with custard for tea. One of the surprising elements of lockdown has been Julia cooking a lot of crumbles. I like crumbles. I like them even better with custard.

So, to sum up.

Reasons to be cheerful –

Sunshine, fresh air, flowers, Julia, tortoises, hot water bottles.

Twelve minutes to go. I’m getting quite fast at writing inconsequential drivel.

Marigold at Mencap

Yellow Flag

Julia working in the Mencap Garden

Trees in a car park

Blue Iris

Thirty two minutes, including loading photos and tags. Phew!

Flowers and Fossils

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Today I’m going to do pictures of flowers from yesterday’s visit to the garden with a few other things interspersed to show the nature of decay and the passing of time.

That’s sounding either depressed or arty, and I don’t know which is worse. The depression comes, amongst other things, from having to fill in a questionnaire for the hospital. I participate in a regular pain survey so they have sent me one about depression, anxiety and isolation. By the time I’d finished I felt considerably worse.

The artiness may come from being bitten by a vampiric art student, or from watching too much Grayson Perry on TV.

I’m glad to be back in the old editor. There’s a certain solidity to it, which I don’t get from the new one, and as I write I can see I have written 144 words.

I have now had two tries at loading a group of three photographs, but there is no sign of them. This seems to be an increasingly common problem. When I publish the post they will all suddenly appear.

Crow again

Bee on Chives

Mencap Garden Pond

Last night, whilst wading through reams of information on the new editor and associated rammel, I found a button that would have erased the entire site. I was very tempted. There is nothing in the writing that I am attached to, and as I struggled with the “improved” system it all felt like it was just too difficult to carry on. I may have to avoid finding that button again, because it’s very tempting.

Over the years I’ve followed links to the sites of people who have commented on my blog and found that they have no posts listed. I’m beginning to see why.

And once again the photos fail to appear. I hope they will turn up when I publish. And lo and behold, they did turn up. In the wrong place.

Ominous Sign

Abandoned Calendar

Devil’s Toenail (Gryphaea)

The devil’s toenail is nice to see, I haven’t seen one for years. It’s nice to have something on the blog that is older than me.

The New Editor

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I just clicked to use the new editor. In trying to get back to the old one I found that they are going to force me to use the new editor from 1st June whether I want to or not. In addition to that I have had to read a load of condescending drivel about the ease and power of the new system. This comes complete with “blocks”, which I don’t understand and have never needed, but seems to come without the buttons that will allow me to add photos and links.

I should have known something was going on because I’d been suffering minor glitches for a week or two and it’s usually a sign that some jiggery-pokery is in progress.

It took me 45 minutes, and many false starts, to get back to the classic editor and despite looking, I am still none the wiser about how to post photos or add links using the new editor. I would have thought that a new and improved editor would have made this easier, not harder. I also can’t find the word count on the new one.

As usual, the words new and improved are used as if they are interchangeable when in fact new is not the same thing as improved at all.

French Marigolds

Foxglove

Mencap Garden, Wilford

All in all, if we have to have a new editor, why can’t we have one with a decent set of instructions sent to us before the thing is rolled out. I know these things happen, because that’s what happens with websites – people keep tinkering with them and other people keep telling you about the new and improved version and how “people” have been asking for changes and giving positive feedback. It’s always “people” rather than actual names.

To be honest, I come on here to practice writing, to put my thoughts and frustrations out of my head, to look into the loves of other people and to have a general chat. I don’t need anything glitzy and high tech.

What I really need is the digital equivalent of a box of old-fashioned printer paper (remember the stuff with circular holes down the sides and perforations at the end of every sheet?) that I can write on continuously and add links and photos.

That is pretty much what I had until a few hours ago and I was happy. Now I can’t add links and photos.

Wood – impersonating a strange animal…

The Second Post

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I made the mistake of pressing the button to look at the new editor and now I can’t get out of it. As with the last attempt at a new editor I don’t see it as an improvement and I don’t know what a “block” is. I’m not keen and would much rather either (a) have a proper explanation or (b) only “improve” things that need it.

Anyway, back to work. This post is about what we did yesterday. As usual my writing lags considerably behind my life.

The Mencap garden was pleasantly sunny, though not quite as colourful as it has been in past years. I’ve noticed this in the garden at home too, where the marigolds seem to have disappeared. It might be neglect or it might be a dry spring, I’m honestly not sure. It might just be a case of it being a dull time of year. Some times of year just aren’t colourful.

I just looked to see how I was doing on the word count, but that doesn’t seem to be a feature of the new editor.

That’s 186. I know that because I counted it three times. Once I lost count myself. Then I lost count again, this time assisted by Julia. It was a fraught five minutes.

In the garden I sat down and watched as Julia started work. A couple of brown birds dropped in followed by another dozen squeaky companions. The long tails and the squeaking were diagnostic of long-tailed tits though, as usual, I couldn’t get a decent photo.

Bee on Chives

Marigold at Mencap

Julia working in the Mencap Garden

There were blue tits at the end of the garden, where they have a brood of youngsters in one of the nestboxes.

Apart from that it was the normal suspects – blackbird, kestrel, magpie, herring gull, As we lunched, Julia dropped part of her Scotch egg, so she broke the bits up and threw them onto the grass for the local magpie, which had been looking very blue as it posed in the sunlight. Before the magpie could get to it a crow swooped in and started clearing up. It’s amazing how quickly things can appear.

The breeze was quite brisk and the few butterflies we saw (mainly whites with a few peacocks) didn’t linger. I was able to try photographing a few pollinators, including a few cooperative bumblebees, but again, there weren’t that many about.

Crow with Scotch Egg

Bumblebee on Chive

Crow again

I am finding the new editor a trial to work with and have just returned to add photos and a link after transferring back to the old editor.

The Adventures of Arkwright

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Yesterday, as we left the house, Julia noticed a woman standing outside and asked if she was OK. She was. She was just pausing to wait for her tortoise as he grazed on the plants in our front garden. They tend to encroach on the footpath.

We run the garden to be attractive to wildlife, but this was the first time we’ve had a tortoise visit.

We’ve never seen him before but his owner says she walks him regularly because it exercises him and keeps his claws worn down. He walks approximately 200 yards, snacks on the hedge at the end house (which has a more riotous garden than we do) and then waits to be carried home.

Arkwright the Tortoise

He is called Arkwright (named after Ronnie Barker‘s character in Open All Hours), walks faster when it is sunny and, when he can be bothered to walk home, knows which house to turn into.

Lemon Tarts and Battenberg

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We have a food delivery coming tomorrow and I am struggling with the finer details. Pudding of the week was going to be a couple of lemon tarts but they seem to be unavailable. There seems to be a problem with lemon tarts, whether Sicilian or plain, as the results from our food orders are Ordered 2 Delivered 0. ASDA and TESCO have both defaulted.

This is a definite case of First World Problems. If I was living in Bangladesh right now I would have more to worry about than pudding deliveries. I’ve just been looking at a website with international Covid-19 news on it, and despite what I’m told is great government incompetence, I have to say I wouldn’t swap for many places in the world. I see that Sweden’s death rate is now rising steeply, and is currently higher than that of the UK. Even hindsight isn’t much help in making sense of a lot of the figures, so I’m just going to chill out and take it all with a pinch of salt. All my worrying, and all the worrying of everyone in the world, isn’t going to alter the course of the pandemic.

For now, I’m going to worry about croissants and cake. We probably should order croissants, because it gives us a different breakfast once a week, and everyone needs a treat. As for cake – I usually opt for Battenberg. I am a creature of habit and it’s a good thing to see on the plate when we serve afternoon tea.

Yes, civilisation is on the way out but a couple of times a week we have afternoon tea. There is, at this point, no obvious benefit to letting standards slip.

I am really regretting never taking a picture of a Battenberg cake, so I’ve taken one from the internet. It is the one from the Wikipedia link I gave above and I hope they will forgive my larceny.

Another Short Post

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When Julia had her funny turn, as I now refer to it, she left her keys with one of the other staff members when she was taken off in the ambulance. Today, we arranged a meeting with suitable social distancing, to get the keys back. I stayed in the car. Did you know that it takes forty minutes for two women to pass over a set of keys? Slightly over forty minutes in fact, but writing “forty three minutes” seems overly pedantic.

It’s amazing to think of the events in between the two things – hospital, holiday, isolation…

Different lighting – different mood

Tomorrow we are going gardening. I’m going to make smoked mackerel pate tonight and we will have sandwiches, Scotch eggs and tea. It will be nice to get out. As a bonus, I should be able to get some decent new photographs.

More trees in a car park

Trees in a car park

Shed and surplus paint

Julia is currently outside taking yet another work call. She has left the back door open and I can hear the screaming of swifts outside. Inside, Timothy West and Prunella Scales are cruising through Yorkshire on a canal boat.

I’m watching Outback Opal Hunters at the moment. It’s fascinating stuff, though I’d rather be a gold prospector. You don’t have to work underground to find gold, which is a distinct advantage for someone who doesn’t like confined spaces. I don’t want to be crushed under tons of rock either, or poisoned by poor quality air.

Despite everything I say about vegetating in front of the TV, it can be an educational experience.

Front garden – out of control

Another Snapshot

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Sometimes things just don’t work out.

I had intended to make another short post yesterday evening, with a view to doing three short posts a day for the next few days. I just thought I’d introduce some pace and variety.variety.

So I put the vegetables in the oven and sat down to write. I have a behemoth of a post in preparation and wanted to cut it down from 900 words to 600. I think of 600 words as long enough for someone to plough through. After forty minutes I sat back and looked at the result. It is now 1,100 words and has five extra photographs. Editing is not as easy as it sounds.

As you may have noticed, I didn’t write the post I intended. I am easily distracted.

We ate after that and I had a nap in front of the TV. I woke, read and procrastinated. For the purposes of my diary that counts as three activities. Waking is not as simple as it used to be. For one thing, I don’t become instantly alert as I used to, and for another, it now takes a little more effort to rearrange my limbs.

I have a police procedural on my Kindle and even though it cost nothing I am seriously wondering if it was worth it. There are parts of it where I find myself seriously thinking they should be paying me to read it.

When I accept an award, or a big cheque (I’m not fussy which), for my as yet unwritten prize-winning historical crime novel, I will cite this one as my inspiration. Something along the lines of “I thought if this garbage can get published I really ought to write one myself.”

Tea was roasted vegetables (carrot, leek, parsnip, swede and broccoli) with the last of the gammon and a bit of gravy. Time to cut back on bread and potatoes I think.

Gammon, roast veg and gravy

Suddenly I had 300 words, which isn’t short by my standards, and it’s the early hours of the morning. I woke up six hours later and realised that although I’d finished the writing I hadn’t published it. So here it is.

Snapshot

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I decided to do three or four short posts today by way of a change. I did about 1,500 words last night, which now need editing, and I am looking for a change of pace.

It’s just after 7.00 and I have been watching a programme about canals. I like canals but I’m too rickety to start canal cruising now. I will have a short daydream tonight about how I should have started 30 years ago, then I will switch over to the lottery winner daydream. If I win the lottery I can buy a luxury narrow boat and a crew to do all the work. Sounds like a workable system.

Julia is currently on some sort of technological miracle that allows various people to squawk at her, even though it’s several hours after the end of her working day. It’s going to be fun when she goes back to work if they all insist on ringing her in the evening too.

Time to start cooking now, but I’m not sure what to have.

We have some breaded chicken which I bought because I was fed up with high-quality healthy ingredients. It was cheap and, after eating the first half of the packet, it seems to be value for money. Didn’t cost much, tastes like eating a pan scourer.

There is also the remains of last week’s gammon joint, which has already provided two meals, and a large bag of ready cut stir-fry vegetables which have come with noodles and sauce as a special deal.

Then there are the ratatouille and baked potato options, the veggie curries and the stews…

So much food.

Decision time. Gammon wins, on the grounds that if I leave it too long it has the power to kill me. And it’s easy to throw some veg in the oven and walk away instead of fiddling about with loads of ingredients.

That’s 311 words, so it’s quite a long snapshot.

Photo is a Green Woodpecker from our farm days.

The Secret Life of a Blogger

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I’ve just been looking down the list off drafts for the last week. They are also known as false starts, ideas and notes and are there for various reasons.

Last night’s effort stalled after 200 words on the grounds that it was depressing. I can’t see much in it worth salvaging and when I have a clear-out it will probably go. It falls in the gap between being entertaining and cathartic, and that’s a very dull and self-indulgent gap.

The one before that has a copy of Agatha Christie’s Great War VAD record Card, and I have not yet written anything to go with it. I may or may not develop that. Again, it’s just going to be a re-hash of available facts and I’m not sure I can add anything useful to the amount that has been written about her.

The third is my drfat for the 12th May Mass Observation Diary. I’m not sure whether it would serve any purpose if I sent it in.

Fourth is a five line false start on dead badgers. It probably needs a recipe to get it going again. That was originally going to be about blood tests but it was overtaken by the phone call requiring a repeat test. When I returned I started the post again.

Fifth is the start of the original 1926 post. I started that the night before my 1926th post, which ended up being about blood tests. It was not as good as the opening I eventually used. This is saying something, as the opening I used will hardly go down in history with “It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.”

For more good opening lines read here. I must try harder. It’s slightly depressing that a search for ‘best opening lines’ resulted in six sites offering conversational openers for Tinder. They aren’t all great lines, though I did like – “Do you have an ugly boyfriend? No? Want one?”

I’m going to try that on Julia.

The next two are about regimental brooches. Whether they are attempts to bore my readers or drafts for articles, I’m not quite sure, but I have plenty of photographs and I may well put something together to teach you about regimental brooches and the depths of a collector’s soul.

Finally we reach back to Scone Chronicles 38. It was written just before lockdown and I lost the photos. It features scones and Sir Bradley Piggins.

This isn’t quite an accurate account, as I cleared out a few weeks ago and these are just the eight most recent. The real stinkers get binned regularly.

Do you have a similar system, or are all your starts true sparkling jewels of blogging excellence? Or do you clear out more often? I still have some from years ago, where I’m hoping to use a title or a well-turned phrase at some point in the future. I am, in psychological terms, a hoarding optimist.

Finally, the pictures are from the chickpea and peanut butter curry we had from the boxes last night. It was the one I’d looked forward to most eagerly, and the biggest disappointment, as it was tasty but not spicy. I liked the meatballs and the pork steaks better. However, we will be incorporating it into our menu rotation as a variation on the veggie curries we already make. The two photos show natural light and flash versions of the same meal. The one with flash (seen here) is much more welcoming.

Thai red curry – chickpeas and peanut butter

I could have done without the roasted broccoli, which seems to have been a feature of the three meals (it’s covered in sauce in this picture) and there was enough lime with the grated zest on the rice, without using the wedges provided.

Of course, as soon as I say that, WP decides to stop showing me my photographs…

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Life after the Care Farm