Tag Archives: presentation

From the Ashes of Disaster

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So, I hear you ask, how was it? As if the title didn’t give enough of a clue.

The slide show was good. I spent a lot of time on it. Part of this was the time I spent relearning the system because I only use it once every two years, and forget how it works. Another portion of time was spent in the script, because it took me months to sort out what I wanted to say. After that, the text and photography was, as always, tedious and seemed to take forever.

However, at about 4pm on Monday (a couple of hours before the talk), I was 90% ready. I’m never 100% ready, and I bet most people aren’t. I had a well-crafted slideshow, the commentary was running round in my head (I don’t use notes, just have a lot of information and use the slides as prompts to bring it out at the right time).

The first presentations I ever did were about the Sealed Knot. Sometimes I would use an old-fashioned show, the sort that actually used photographic slides. They were expensive to produce, there was a delay between taking the pictures and seeing the results, you could load projector magazines back to front or wrong way round, bulbs blew, I even saw a slide melt once (fortunately not one of mine) . . .

Miniature Distinguished Conduct Medal (DCM)group to L H Childs – a member of the Northamptonshire Regiment in WW2. The recommendation for his DCM shows that he waded across a canal and tackled two German machine gun nests. Then did it a second time. A newspaper report shows that he was wounded after the war whilst disarming German troops in Italy.

I did talks for history societies, schools, the WI and Scouts. They had varying levels of equipment so i gradually developed what is essentially my current style – I’d take enough items to fill a table, I’d pick something up and talk about it, pass it round or make someone try it on. Whatever I say about modern technology, I do love digital photography, and am quite keen on PowerPoint (or the free ODF equivalent in my case). You can do so much more.

Anyway, back to Monday afternoon.

By the wonders of modern delivery technology, Amazon had delivered a box of USB drives to my door in under 24 hours. I didn’t want his masterpiece of numismatic storytelling to go to waste on my cluttered old drive. I even loaded a second one as I am very much a belt and braces type of presenter, and only the best is good enough for my gem of presentation.

Are you following me? Or have you already deduced the full horror of the precipice I am about to fall off?

Oh yes, despite the care and attention I had taken, the hours of blood, toil, sweat and tears that had gone into my presentation, it wouldn’t show up on the screen in the meeting room. It wouldn’t show up on the screen next door either. But someone else had a USB drive with him and it did show his. It just wouldn’t read mine. Mine, once I got home, functioned perfectly well on my computer. Investigations are ongoing.

There was some muttered discussion about whether any of the others had an old presentation with them as a replacement . . .

Miniature DCM group to Frederick Cowham, once a member of the Royal Artillery, later a prison governor. He won it for mending telephone lines under fire – we didn’t hav e much radio communication in 1914-18 so many medals were given out for telephone-related incidents.

However, cometh the hour, as they say, cometh the man. And that man, after arranging his display cases in the amended order necessary and stood up to deliver the talk. There were no slides, no photos and no prompts, just a man and an audience. And that man, having lived and breathed this presentation for the last panic-stricken week, saw no reason to worry. I missed some things out and didn’t deliver it with the polish I would have liked, but an hour later (it rambled a bit more than the slideshow), it was all done.

Despite everything, people seemed to enjoy it. I was able to pass exhibits round in my new display cases so people all had a look, and I was congratulated several times on the content of the talk, and my ability to stand up and give it without a script or visual prompts.

So, all in all, despite the technological disaster, it went quite well and I was able to carry it off despite everything. If anything, I am now, if anything, a bit too pleased with myself for having kept calm and carried on.

Miniature Medals of Pte Charles Winch, Leicestershire Regiment, with related school attendende medal and picture of his full size medals, which were sold in the same sale. After fighting in the battle of Talana and defending Ladysmith, he was recalled for service in WW1, but did not go overseas. Note the presence of the extra bar “Natal” on the miniatures – this sort of thing, though the fact that the medals have swapped sides is a wild deviation from the main group, even by the standards of strange things that miniature medals get up to.

For a good read, follow this link to the lady in question.

 

 

 

 

Almost Done!

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These two pictures are the miniature medals of Major J L Partington MBE, MC and his Brazilian ID card from a trip he made in 1952. Miniature medals are worn for events like formal dinners I will do a longer write up on them in a later post.

Major Partington was an engineer by profession and went to work in Argentina before the Great War. He returned to fight, joined the Royal Engineers and was decorated for spending all day under shell fire rescuing trains and equipment. He then went back to Argentina, married and had two sons, who were both killed in the RAF, one one in 1941 and one in 1942. I often think, when people are talking about how hard life is, we don’t really have a clue these days compared to the generations that lived through the wars.

Today was the day I hit Peak Panic with the presentation. I only have until Monday, and as I’m working tomorrow, I’m short of time. I’m also short on research and have no chance of preparing all the materials I was going to put together.

On the other hand, I have now learned most of what I need to know about putting a presentation together (I forget how to make a slide show after each time I do one) and by late afternoon I had the majority of it in place, It’s nothing like as good as I wanted. On the other hand (leaving false modesty apart) it’s far from the worst one we’re going to have this winter.

I have plenty of slides, plenty of stories, know my material and have a relaxed manner of delivery. I’ve enjoyed doing it and I’m going to enjoy it. I’ve also bought some great display stands off the internet and the collection is going to look good.

I also bought some bookstands. One of the medal recipients wrote a book about his wartime experiences and another features in a chapter of  book by someone else, so I will have two books on display – I always find myself being impressed by that sort of thing,and hope other people are too.

The header picture is the book by the medal recipient – Night Fighter by Lewis Brandon. I first read it when i was about twelve and it made a big impression on me. It was fifty years later that I was able to buy the miniatures, and it’s very unusual to be able to put this much detail with a group of medals.

He was an actor before the war, a pioneering radar operator during the war and a publican and hotelier after the war (amongst other things) and the book, which only covers his life until 1945) makes a good read.

Anyway, whatever happens, I won’t be telling people that it’s fallen short of my intentions, so they need never know. That’s something I was taught in sales – the customer doesn’t actually know how badly prepared or nervous you are, so hide it and get on with the job in hand.

Miniature Medals of Lt Col Wall

Lt Colonel Wall was decorated by the British and Dutch Governments. He was a pre-war railway manager and used his expertise by supplying troops with food and equipment in three campaigns.

In the winter of 1944-45 the Germans cut off supplies of food and fuel to a substantial portion of the Netherlands as a reprisal for actions of the Dutch Resistance. It was a bad winter and at least 30,000 people died of cold and hunger. Many of the survivors, including a child called Edda van Heemstra, had to eat tulip bulbs to survive and suffered from bad health all their lives.

She became a UN ambassador and worked to relieve famine out of gratitude for the international given to her country at the end of the war. Wall’s part in the relief effort was recognised by the award of the Order of Orange-Nassau (the impressive medal on the end of the group).

By the time van Heemstra worked for the UN, she had resumed the use of her English name,  which had been a problem during the occupation. That is why she is better known as Audrey Hepburn.

A Sudden Panic Begins to Grow

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This morning I made a special effort – omlette for breakfast, made Julia’s sandwiches, did the washing up . . . then I tailed off. Finally, i managed to write the prose section of a haibun. As I made lunch (cheese on toast with tomato relish) I was struck by more inspiration and my lunch went cold as I typed two more. It’s hardly comparable to actual work, but I did feel that I’d made a breakthrough, and celebrated by falling asleep in my chair as I watched the news on TV after eating cold cheese on toast.

Considering  that I haven’t written anything new in the poetry line for three months, two of my recent acceptances date back to last October, and some are probably older than that, this is a promising  move forwards I have written some Facebook pieces for the Numismatic Society and quite a few blog posts, though even there I have been far from firing on all cylinders.

Visit of the Russian fleet to Toulon

Centenary of the Railways

I am also trying to do some longer pieces on collectables for the blog. It’s practice for magazine articles, which I intend to write when I retire.

Reverse of the Boy Scout Medal

Then there’s the presentation in September. That’s actually very close now and I have done nothing for the last two weeks. I am now feeling scared about that – it’s only about three weeks now and I’ve been frittering my time away without noticing. Three weeks is nothing, considering that I’ve changed the emphasis of the presentation several times and still don’t have a proper idea of the way I want to do it.

Miniature medals of Superintendent Tacey – Nottinghamshire City Police

Better finish this and get working again . . .

Chugging Along

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The new blood sample is given, the shopping delivery is confirmed. I have also pulled three poems out of long term storage ( it’s the file next to oblivion) and polished them up. I have  also lined up another six which need a bit of editing. Once that is all done, I will have the nine I need for this month. Then I will need to find a few more for the month after, but sufficient to the day is the evil thereof as the King James Version tells us. Or in other words, I will worry about that as the time approaches. By that time I will probably have had at least six of this months submissions returned and they will be ready to go again.

Writing poetry is probably one of the more sustainable hobbies – nearly as ecological as composting and a lot better for the environment than rally driving. many of my poems are accepted on te second or third try, one on the fourth, as I recall. After that I tend to lose interest in them. I once had one returned for the second time, sent it off immediately, and had it accepted within days. It’s true what they say about rejection, it’s how it fits with one particular editor on one specific day.

Medals of Superintendent A W Tacey of Nottingham City Police – I will be photographing some of his old addresses before the talk. He had a less exciting life that Colonel Brighten (see below) but wsa arguably a much better citizen. When tacey was awarded his Silver Jubilee Medal (the fourth one in the group) brighten was probably still incarcerated in Wormwood Scrubs.

Nothing much else happened. I’ve done  bit more towards the September presentation, and it is starting to take shape, but it still feels a long way from coming together. That’s top of my list for next week. I don’t expect that I will come close to finishing it, but I’d like to think I get most of the slides roughed out and in the right order. If I’m honest, I can take it from there without doing much more – most of my presentations are not properly finished and rely on my memory rather than a script.

The problem with this one is that it’s an introduction to the history of miniature medals, with some anecdotes about collecting and a number of stories stories I have discovered in the course of researching. I could easily do 100 slides for it, which will be far too long and will send people cross-eyes. Forty five minutes is my target, about 50 slides, and leave them wanting more.

The medals here and in the header picture, for instance, is the group of medals which belonged to a solicitor and war hero. A solicitor, he had a distinguished war, awarded the Distinguished Service Order twice, mentioned in dispatches three times and given two Belgian medals. In WW2 he commanded a Home Guard District and was awarded an OBE. Between the wars he was caught up in a couple of news stories and in 1932 he was struck off and imprisoned for fraud. He bought a department store in 1952 and was killed in a motor accident in 1954 at the age of 64 – a packed and interesting life.

 

 

The Presentation Looms

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George Medal group awarded GM for gallantry under fire in Iraq when he defused a mutiny by Iraqi troops.

On Monday night at the Numismatic Society of Nottinghamshire AGM the list of talks for the new season was announced. I am officially listed as making my presentation in September. That is just 59 days away. The time has flown by. I have written a rough script and the first few slides and am currently relearning how to use the Presentation part of my Apache Open Office suite. It’s similar to PowerPoint for those of you who aren’t familiar with it and Open Office is similar to Microsoft, but has fewer features, much lower costs (it’s free) and doesn’t fence you round with a variety of restrictions. I would love the features of PowerPoint, but I prefer the feeling of using Open Office.

We had 14 members attending, which is good for what is universally accepted to be the most boring meeting of the year. Sometimes we have over 20 if the talk looks interesting. Sometimes I fall asleep, so perhaps some meetings are more boring than this. Other societies, from what I hear, have varying memberships. Some are larger and seem a bit more active. Some are smaller, which is a comfort to us as it makes us feel more viable. What is certainly true is that membership of coin clubs is down to about 50% of what it used to be and most of our members are 60 and over. Sometimes well over. there are younger collectors but they tend to use social media.

A pre-war railway specialist who, became a Lt Colonel in the Royal Engineers and was decorated three times for efficiency in feeding troops and Dutch civilians

We had one place available on the committee and, we thought, one person wishing to join. As it turned out someone rang during the afternoon and expressed an interest. One space, two enthusiastic volunteers. What do we do? I’d have accepted both, but we seem to have rules about that. However, as they are both younger than me and both good candidates, I volunteered to step down and make another vacancy. I was planning on stepping down next year after we move so it wasn’t a problem. We now have two new and enthusiastic committee members, which is good.

A railway signalling specialist working for a British firm in Argentina. Decorated with the Military Cross for rescuing a train under shell fire in WW1 and a civilian OBE for services to railway engineering. Both his sons died flying with the RAF in WW2 

One of my previous incarnations on a committee was Nottingham Outlaws where I was the Volunteer Coordinator. This is the ungrammatical title given to the person who coordinates the club volunteers, rather than the person who volunteers to coordinate. That’s how I know Rule Number One – never turn a volunteer down.

Anyway – 59 days to go. Just over 8 weeks. I need to research and write approximately ten slides a week so I don’t have time to spend chatting, I’d better get on . . .

DSO, DFC & bar to a pioneering night fighter radar expert. He wrote a book after the war telling of his exploits. As a pre-war actor he was Robert Donat;s understudy and was actually given leave from the RAF to play  a Gestapo officer in a film.

The photo at the top originally belonged to a multiply decorated war hero. Then someone got hold of it and used it as the basis for making up a fraudulent group. In fact he had an active service career with the Royal marine Light Infantry lasting about 4 months before being wounded in the battle for Gavrelle windmill in April 1917.

A Breakfast Quandary

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If I stop work now (9.55 am) I will have done more than I do on some days, and probably about the same as I did all yesterday. This isn’t an excuse to stop, but it is a reason to start planning breakfast.

I made beans, toast, black pudding, mushrooms and bacon yesterday, because I’m an unimaginative man and that is what I consider breakfast should be. Ideally it should also have eggs, sausages and tomatoes, and I wouldn’t object to hash browns, fried potatoes or bubble and squeak either. Plus porridge, toast and marmalade. The reason I didn’t go for the whole lot yesterday (apart from lack of some supplies) was laziness – I would have needed to wash some pans to do eggs and tomatoes.

In retirement I may try experimenting with my breakfast menu a little more. I may also experiment with housework. It’s never too late to try something different and I may enjoy it.

We really should have cereal or porridge this morning, to keep things light and healthy . . .

I’ve just had a few minutes looking at breakfast omelettes, but I keep being drawn back to the ones that feature  full breakfast with eggs poured over the top.

I’m thinking of soup again for lunch. Yesterday’s tomato soup was very nice, particularly as it is cheap. I may try carrot today and use it for lunch during the week too, as I’m trying to eat healthy lunches again.

The big project of the morning so far has been preparing a short talk on the Memorial Plaque of the Great War. Every year at the Numismatic Society we have an auction and a Short Papers Night to break up the various talks, I’ve decided to prepare one, even though it might not be needed. It’s useful to be one paper ahead of the game, rather than one behind.

Compared to my last presentation this is coming together quite quickly. It’s probably because I’m using it as a displacement activity – I really should be writing poetry and it’s always easier to avoid the pressing work and do something else. In this case I have poetry to finish for the end of the month so I’m writing a presentation I won’t need for at least six months.

My capacity for poor organisation really is quite remarkable.

Olympic Breakfast

Despite the picture, we had porridge. And toast and marmalade.

Our Speaker for Tonight . . .

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It is done. It could have been done better, but it could also have been a lot worse. Learning from last time, I spoke louder, looked directly at the various grumbling miscreants on the back row and projected an air of confidence.

Even half an hour before I started, this was not the impression you would have received if you had been watching me. I only finished fifteen minutes before I was due to leave home. It had gone OK, but I had decided that I needed a few extra slides to ensure I hit my target of 40-45 minutes. These always take more time than you think, even if you are doing simple slides (two photos and a title). That meant I didn’t start to download the presentation to memory stick until the time I had set aside for changing clothes. and combing my hair.

The first memory stick didn’t have enough room for the presentation. The second was faulty, but, thank goodness, took the download. Because I use Open Office, I had to save as PowerPoint (using two formats as I wasn’t sure which one the screen used in the meeting room). It probably takes either, but there’s no point in taking chances. Fortunately I had established the need for PowerPoint  at a previous meeting – one of my few bits of forward planning. I just didn’t realise there were two formats until I started the download. That was how I came to leve home without any grooming . . .

Shuffling sheets of paper with your head down as you mumble lists of facts and figures is a very popular way of giving this sort of presentation. It shows commendable organisation and ensures that the audience gets all the information. However, you on’t be surprised to find that I don’t do it that way, I just switch the screen on and start talking. As I was later than I had intended that is what happened. Walk in, say hello, listen to the Secretary for a few minutes, be introduced and away . . .

Some Peace Medallions – 1919 – 1920

There are pitfalls to this approach, and wild hair, toast crumbs and a general air of dishevelment are only the start.

Fortunately I didn’t fall into many of them. Politics and royalty can be tricky subjects. My list of personal characteristics of Edward VIII (war hero, party animal, fell out with parents, altogether too fond of Nazis and American divorcees) linked past with present Prince Harry and even raised a modest laugh. It could, I confess, have gone either way.

I stumbled a little over the list of royal wedding presents in 1947. That Queensland sent 500 cases of tinned pineapple is well known, and 900 kg of boiled sweets sent by the Australian Junior Red Cross is easy enough to remember, but I had to consult a prompt card for 50,000 food parcels from the USA and 804 tonnes of food from the City of Toronto. Times were hard in 1947. Bread and potatoes were rationed after the war due to poor harvests (something we had avoided during the war, and medal design, as you can see from the pictures, was at a low ebb. (Yes, I have used those photos before).

Royal Wedding 1947 Obverse

Royal Wedding Medallion 1947 Reverse

I also forgot a couple of other things I meant to mention and  omitted to set my timer when I started, so I finished 5-10 minutes earlier than planned. However, it’s better to be ten minutes too short than ten minutes too long. In my view too many speakers ignore that simple fact.

That’s over 500 words. It’s enough.

 

Stuck for a Subject

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It’s 23.22 and I have made a late start. I have also made two false starts, one on the subject of writer biographies and one on the subject of aiming for 100 rejections.

I have a strong dislike of biographical notes in poetry magazines, because I really don’t give a toss for the lives of the various poets that appear in the magazines I subscribe to. I don’t read them because I am interested to know that A spent twenty years in teaching or B has a degree in Creative Writing. I read them because they write something worth reading. I am at one with the editors who don’t do notes on the grounds that the magazine is about poetry.

I’m not against talking about myself, as you will know if you read the blog regularly, but I am against writing about myself when I’m trying to get poetry published. There are too many dull biographical notes, including ones that are just lists of publications, and I don’t see any need to add to them.

Anyway, I have nothing interesting to say.

I’m currently deciding on the look for the photograph one magazine has asked me for. Do I take a selfie as I am? That will, as Julia points out, establish me as a man in the tradition of W H Davis, the tramp poet. Though, strangely, he always looks well-groomed in all the photos you see of him. Or do I  shave my head, trim my beard and end up looking like the idiot brother of Ming the Merciless? It’s not an easy choice, and it doesn’t change my writing, just the opinion people have of me.

Then there is the question of the 100 rejections. It’s really about upping the number of submissions and aiming high. That, so far, is where I have failed. I only made four submissions last month and so far this month have only submitted one thing. I have several other submissions in the planning stage but I doubt I’ll manage more than four this month, as I don’t have the finished material to send. It hasn’t helped that I’ve slowed down this month, just when I really needed to get a move on.

When I started writing poetry I didn’t realise that so much of my writing life would revolve around haircuts, autobiography and planning. I thought it was all about writing. Silly me.

Robin on a Fence

Chaffinch on the same fence

 

The Presentation

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After seven and a half months of saying “I really must do something” I finally started in earnest a couple of weeks ago, as you may have noticed in previous posts.

The result was a presentation that fell far short of my original plans. Fortunately, nobody apart from me knew this and I just tried to look confident and smile. It would probably be better if I was an habitual smiler. It doesn’t come naturally and it does tend to make me look like I’m auditioning for the part in the Ladykillers. Think 1955 Alec Guinness, not the new one.

The Ladykillers - look at that smile

The Ladykillers – look at that smile

The main thing is to remember that it’s rare that you have anyone in the audience that knows as much as you do. so yuo don’t need to be perfect.

There were a couple of complaints from the usual suspects about not being able to hear. They didn’t bother to tell me to speak up at the time and, as usual, they sat at the back, which isn’t the best place if you can’t hear.

Julia sat behind them. She could hear. In fact she said the only time she had trouble hearing was when the old gits were chuntering about not being able to hear.

Next time I will ask if everyone can hear me. Better still, I will prepare a slide saying – “Can you hear me at the back?”. After all, if they are that deaf they may not be able to hear me ask.

I will also set off earlier. I thought I set off in plenty of time, but the traffic congestion from the bridge works is clogging things up. I was stuck for 30 minutes at one point just to travel 100 yards and get round a roundabout.I had to text to say I was stuck, and then I had to get set up without practice.

When I pressed the button for the first slide it was the first time I’d ever used PowerPoint. Fortunately it’s (mainly) idiot proof and I only pressed the wrong button three times. That means I pressed the right button 21 times. Three sounds a small number but in percentage terms it’s not impressive.

At least with PowerPoint you don’t have to take loads of slides, you can’t load it wrong way round and it doesn’t jam, overheat or blow the bulbs. I’m sure I can work on this area and break PowerPoint, I just haven’t found out how to do it yet.

One thing I did do was get the notes disastrously wrong. Having taken advice from Julia I wrote notes in PowerPoint, assuming it would be easy to access them on the night. This, I felt, was far better than a pile of cards, reading glasses and poor light. We switched the machine on, I pressed the button, and I stared in panic…

Nothing.

I looked at the screen, I looked at the computer, I looked at Julia. Nothing. It turns out that there is slightly more to the notes feature than I thought.

You’re all thinking one of two things aren’t you? Some of you are thinking “I bet he has a back-up plan with a selection of colour-coded note cards linked to each slide”.

And some of you are thinking “I bet he has a back-up plan with a selection of colour-coded note cards linked to each slide, and I bet he left them next to his computer as he left the house.”

You are both right. I did have a back-up, and I did leave it at home.

So – a sea of faces, darkness, no notes on PowerPoint, a distance of five miles between me and my back-up cards. I have had better moments.

I thought of sneaking out before the lights came back on.

I’m not built for sneaking, so there was nothing more to be done. Sometimes you just have to take a deep breath and start…

Wath Main Colliery Tribute Medal

Wath Main Colliery Tribute Medal

The photos are a medallion given to the staff of the Wath Main Colliery Company. This one is to Harry Winder, who enlisted in 1915. He was a coal hewer and lived in a cottage with his parents and ten siblings. I suspect he was one of those people who found the army to be easier than living at home. In the army they often got better food and lighter work.

Wath Main Colliery Tribute MedalPicture3

Wath Main Colliery Tribute Medal

He did not, as far as I can see, serve overseas, as he was not A1 physically, due to a hernia sustained whilst mining, and he served with an Anti-Aircraft Battery for three years.

The German bombing campaign in the Great War consisted of 51 airship raids and 27 aircraft raids. They killed 1,392 people and injured 3,330. They lost 30 airships and 62 aircraft, so Harry Winder was doing an important job. Compared to the 43,000 killed in 1939-41, this is not a big number, but it is surprisingly large when you consider the technology in use.

I can only find one other definite trace of Harry Winder in the records as there was another man of the same name in the area and this confuses matters. The following newspaper report from 1923 is definitely “our” Harry Winder though.

Picture1

 

 

 

 

Trousers, Tanks and Troubles

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This morning, poised like an elegant crane, I stood on one leg, pointed my toes and slipped my right leg into my trousers. I then did the same with my other leg.

This would have seemed unremarkable a few years ago, but one of the things I seem to have lost over the years is the ability to put my trousers on while standing up. This morning, and the my resemblance to a tai chi master, is not typical.

Normally, Julia tells me, I look like a drunken tramp playing hopscotch. This is partly because I have dodgy joints and partly because I have the wardrobe and facial hair of a man who has seen better days. The joints have been particularly bad in the last week and there have been a couple of days when it looked like the trousers might win.

Fortunately time, rest and paracetamol seem to have done the trick. I didn’t report this earlier in the week as I was already moaning about my man flu. It’s important, I think, not to seem like a complete hypochondriac when blogging. The same goes for food reviews – I only report on virtuous recipes and leave out quite a lot of fried food and cake.

This is also the case with The Presentation, which has eight days to go. Though I tend to report it as a linear process it is more of a zig-zag, and I am struggling to finish. I have a few photos to do, a couple of slides to finish and quite a lot of information to trim.

I have already cut a lot out of the script, but there’s still more to do. It sent Julia to sleep when I talked her through it in the car and I’m afraid that if that is the case it might adversely affect the wakefulness of a group of elderly gents sitting in the semi-darkness.

I am fascinated by the events of 1919, but I don’t suppose this fascination will be shared by everyone. The Government put tanks on the streets to keep order in Glasgow and Liverpool, troops mutinied, revolution was in the air and, as the Irish started their final war against the English, they embarked on a series of Soviets and dairy-based resistance to their capitalist oppressors.

At that point, even I start to run out of interest…