Trousers, Tanks and Troubles

This morning, poised like an elegant crane, I stood on one leg, pointed my toes and slipped my right leg into my trousers. I then did the same with my other leg.

This would have seemed unremarkable a few years ago, but one of the things I seem to have lost over the years is the ability to put my trousers on while standing up. This morning, and the my resemblance to a tai chi master, is not typical.

Normally, Julia tells me, I look like a drunken tramp playing hopscotch. This is partly because I have dodgy joints and partly because I have the wardrobe and facial hair of a man who has seen better days. The joints have been particularly bad in the last week and there have been a couple of days when it looked like the trousers might win.

Fortunately time, rest and paracetamol seem to have done the trick. I didn’t report this earlier in the week as I was already moaning about my man flu. It’s important, I think, not to seem like a complete hypochondriac when blogging. The same goes for food reviews – I only report on virtuous recipes and leave out quite a lot of fried food and cake.

This is also the case with The Presentation, which has eight days to go. Though I tend to report it as a linear process it is more of a zig-zag, and I am struggling to finish. I have a few photos to do, a couple of slides to finish and quite a lot of information to trim.

I have already cut a lot out of the script, but there’s still more to do. It sent Julia to sleep when I talked her through it in the car and I’m afraid that if that is the case it might adversely affect the wakefulness of a group of elderly gents sitting in the semi-darkness.

I am fascinated by the events of 1919, but I don’t suppose this fascination will be shared by everyone. The Government put tanks on the streets to keep order in Glasgow and Liverpool, troops mutinied, revolution was in the air and, as the Irish started their final war against the English, they embarked on a series of Soviets and dairy-based resistance to their capitalist oppressors.

At that point, even I start to run out of interest…



19 thoughts on “Trousers, Tanks and Troubles

  1. Clare Pooley

    Congratulations on the trouser triumph and the lyrical first sentence.
    With regard to the presentation. You have done this kind of thing before but not recently, if I remember correctly. You know how to read clearly and slowly, you write concise posts on WP, you are interesting and are interested in the subject, you are on to a winner here! A few strategically placed, loud clearings of throat should deal with any somnolent members of the audience. ๐Ÿ™‚

  2. Lavinia Ross

    Congratulation on your trouser Tai Chi, and best of luck with the presentation. As Laurie said, you know not to go on for too long. You will do fine.

  3. Laurie Graves

    Bravo for your victory over the pants! May you continue to prevail. 1919 was certainly an eventful year. Good luck with that presentation. The key thing is not to go on too long, and you already know that.


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