Poetry and Robins

 

Robin - singing

Robin – singing

a robin
sings to its mate
when was the last time
I sang
for you?

That is my latest publication. It was a surprise, because I hadn’t ben told it was accepted. Fortunately I always check before sending things again, as editors don’t like simultaneous submissions. It’s in a German publication called Chrysanthemum. After waiting a while, I went to check on the website, assuming I’d been rejected but wanting to double check, and found the magazine had already been published and I am on pages 226 and 227.. It was a pleasant surprise. They also translated it into German. I knew this was going to happen, but hadn’t anticipated the different look (using capital letters) or the different dynamic that would come from what seemed to be a reordering of words.

Here’s the German translation.

ein Rotkehlchen
singt für seine Gefährtin
wann habe ich
das letzte Mal
für dich gesungen?

Robin, Arnot Hill Park

I just fed it into an internet translator and it put it into English in almost exactly my words. This was a surprise, and a superb effort by the human translator. I have to admit I was expecting it to come back seriously scrambled due to the changes in word order I could see and because of previous experience with internet translations.

I also had a haibun published.

Lesson not learned
Only a few miles from where I sit, a mammoth died. Grass grows on what was once
a Roman town. Stone spires show where a great religious house rose and fell, then
rose again. So many empires, so many layers of dust telling one and the same story

dreams of
a second chance
— one more grey dawn

I’m not quite sure what happened in the edit as the title and last line have been altered in the published version. Altered but possibly not improved. What do you think? The original version is shown below.

Lessons we have not learned

Only a few miles from where I sit, a mammoth died. Grass grows on what was once a Romans town. Stone spires show where a great religious house rose and fell, then rose again. So many layers, so many stories they could tell. So many men forget all empires turn to dust.

dreams of
a second chance
—one more grey dawn

Robin at Rufford Abbey

That means that in the first four months of the year I have made 30 submissions and 22 have resulted in acceptance. However, before congratulating myself, I have to remember that the 30 submissions contained 151 poems. Normally a submission contains three haibun or tanka prose and the submissions of shorter poems at often 10-15 poems. So when I say I made 30 submissions and had 22 acceptances this 77% success record could also be calculated as also only 15%. It all depends on how you look at it.

Robin

 

 

 

 

11 thoughts on “Poetry and Robins

    1. quercuscommunity Post author

      I was fortunate in having a good number of robin photos. 🙂 It was a few months since I had last seen the poem and when I read the ending my frst thought was that I was surprised thy hadn’t objected to the clumsy ending. Then it began to dawn on me that wasn’t my ending . . .

      Reply
      1. quercuscommunity Post author

        It has the feel of something that happened in translation. If you autotranslate something into another language then back again, it sometimes has that stilted feeling.

  1. Anonymous

    I would dwell on the first percentage, not the second. Interesting that they edited your work without asking. If the editor had taken ‘one and’ out of his last line, I would have liked it more. It works well but is not what you said.

    Reply
    1. quercuscommunity Post author

      No, it was a strange experience as there was no contact after submission. Most editors write to discuss an edit and at least one has sent m a snotty email and rejected the piece
      when I didn’t answer fast enough. 🙂 (I’m not usually slow, I just couldn’t answer because I’d mistakenly blocked her and several dozen other people).

      Reply

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