Tag Archives: confused regulations


My Plans for Senile Delinquency

We had oily fish with a rich white sauce tonight. I did mention to Julia that this sort of defeated the object of healthy eating, but just shrugged. I sometimes feel she isn’t as keen on healthy eating as I am. That sounds bad, as I’m not exactly a poster boy for the body beautiful. We had broccoli and carrots with it. And oven chips. It just gets worse and worse, doesn’t it? However, we are happy and mainly healthy, so why worry. Worry is a killer.

I’ve been looking at mobility scooters. Yes, this is slightly hypocritical after all I’ve said about them, bu they were advertised on TV yesterday and seem to strike a chord with me. I must be getting old. After checking the manufacturer in the advert I had a look on eBay. They are quite affordable and as they only do 8mph the 35 mile range represents four hours. I don’t know about you, but I’m not keen on the idea of sitting on one for four hours.

When I retire I am going to treat myself to one and use it for pottering about. I may well become a delinquent and start using it on cycle paths and in cycle lanes, even though this is banned. Cycles and electric scooters use footpaths all the time, so what’s sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander.

I’m not quite clear why electric scooters and electric cycles are allowed in cycle lanes but electric wheelchairs and mobility scooters aren’t. I’m also not clear why riders of electric cycles and scooters aren’t made to wear crash helmets. I’m happy to leave it as a free choice for cyclists, but when you start adding power it gets more dangerous. Then there is the question of insurance . . .

I think I may have found something to keep me occupied in my retirement.

First thought – organise a phalanx of mobility scooters to ride along cycle paths at 4 mph and hold cyclists up. Let’s see how they like it!

Everything a cyclist can do, a mobility scooter rider can do slower, and with worse reflexes. There are, however, some things I may not attempt.

Apples in the living room. And a couple of oranges. It was quite sunny yesterday.