Tag Archives: Christmas

Charity, Children and Christmas

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It’s finally here (which is more than you can say about the promised article on the Gibraltar £20 coin), and in just over three hours it will be Christmas. It seems like a lot of effort goes into just one day.

It also seems like a lot of guilt goes into it, as we are emotionally blackmailed into giving money to the homeless, foreign children and donkeys. Now, I have great sympathy for the homeless, and for foreign children who are needlessly blind, or in need of fresh water, but I don’t appreciate the tactics of the charities in swamping the Christmas TV screens with these adverts.

As for the donkeys, I may sound heartless but compared to a child I don’t really see the suffering in the same league. I also think that on charity quiz shows the celebrities should be prohibited from raising money for animal charities, but that’s a personal view and as the RSPCA raised £81 million from legacies last year it seems there are plenty of people who are happy to give.

It’s an interesting document, the RSPCA report, though I notice that , once again, it fails to call for the prosecution of people who deliberately breed faults into dogs in the name of breed standards. Another personal point there. I must be careful not to rant.

I give to two charities monthly One is for children overseas and one for children in this country. I’ve been thinking of transferring the former donation to the homeless in this country, but after seeing the adverts I’ve decided to leave it. I may transfer the second one, as I’ve had words with the charity over the years about their tactics in trying to bully me to give more. It shows the power, and wisdom, of the TV adverts, where one has stopped me withdrawing support, and the other, which doesn’t advertise, might lose out. On the other hand, as it’s the charity and not the kids that have upset me, I may leave that too.

I’m in better financial shape than I have been for the last few years, so I may just have to give more, as I’m beginning to think about the homeless and the Salvation Army. Their adverts at Christmas always make me feel that way and General Booth came from Nottingham so I should support the local man.

And that, via a circuitous route, takes us back to the beginning of the post. It looks like the adverts, irritating, and cynical as they may be, do serve a purpose.

I will now wish those of you who celebrate Christmas good wishes for the holiday. Those of you who don’t celebrate Christmas can have my good wishes too. If you don’t hear from me tomorrow, imagine me eating a large lunch, with turkey and Hasselback potatoes, and snoozing in front of a feast of variable quality TV.

Dog Show Prize Medal

Dog Show Prize Medal

 

This is the Way the World Ends

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It’s three sleeps until Christmas, and about 80 sleeps until I embarrass myself in front of the Numismatic Society of Nottingham with a dull, boring and badly presented talk. I can feel the iron hand of doom closing around my throat…

I will not be able to look my fellow members in the eye and people will point at me in the street like one of the sad figures from a Bateman cartoon – The Man Who Couldn’t Use Powerpoint.

In the end, I suppose it won’t be too bad, but I am a bit apprehensive.

Meanwhile, having airily stated “Christmas is in the bag. There are a few things left, but the essentials are in place and we are ready to go.” just a few days ago, I came face to face with reality.

A late listing of things we needed for Christmas, which was supposed to be a few veg and bits and pieces, ended up filling a page on my pad, and filled a trolley (though just a small one).

Murder was contemplated on more than one occasion, though I also smiled a lot, gave way a lot and quipped “It’ll soon be over!” more than once.

It’s amazing how many people come out just before Christmas who seem never to have seen a shop before. They dawdle, they gawp and they get in my way. They have uncontrolled children, slack jaws and, often, resentful partners in tow. Zombies have more life behind the eyes, more spatial awareness, and more charm than many of these shuffling, gangway-blocking lost souls.

Today’s poem is dedicated to those shoppers trapped unwillingly in a vortex of Christmas shopping. It’s quite long but you can get the gist from the first part before scrolling down to the last line.

Yes, I do have a cavalier attitude to classic poetry, but life is too short to be serious about poems. This is particularly true where the poet has, as my father-in-law used to tell me, a name that is an anagram of “toilets”.

I’ve returned to Julia’s reindeer pictures for a bit of Christmas cheer.

deer3

Mission Accomplished

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I went shopping this afternoon, with the outline of a plan in mind.

We now have a turkey crown in the freezer which claims to serve 6-8. It should do for three plus sandwiches. The pigs in blankets are next to it.

The gammon and smoked salmon are in the fridge with sufficient shelf life to last until Christmas.

We have stollen, we have nuts and we have seaweed crackers.

I already, as reported, have the cheese footballs.

That is it.

Christmas is in the bag. There are a few things left, but the essentials are in place and we are ready to go. I’m beyond worrying about the quality of the turkey – all I want is a stress-free Christmas and now we have the essentials there is no stress. It won’t be the best turkey we’ve ever had, but it’s in the freezer and Christmas dinner is guaranteed. It might be badly cooked, or burned, but it will be a traditional turkey disaster, and I will have done my job.

At one time I used to shop for a siege, but the shops will be open on Boxing Day so there really is no need to stock up. I may put some bread in the freezer, but that’s the limit of my extra buying.

Cards are delivered or in the post and a few small gifts for my co-workers are in place.

It is now 9.00 and Julia has just come back from seeing a neighbour. I am going to serve the evening meal now and bask in the smug satisfaction of knowing that if Christmas were to be moved forward, I am ready.

And as I write that I realise I haven’t bought the cheese…

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA
OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA
Edward Lear Stamps (1988)

The pictures are minisheets of stamps – an extra way of making collectors buy more. They are buses, the Royal Family, Industrial Archaeology and Edward Lear. If we have room we just stick them on envelopes complete. Yesterdays’s collection is today’s postage, just as yesterday’s news is today’s chip wrapper.

Today’s poem is a cheery number that repeats that thought, though more elegantly, and with much more Latin than is usual in one of my posts.

Vitae Summa Brevis Spem Nos Vetat Incohare Longam

Ernest Dowson

 

The brief sum of life forbids us the hope of enduring long. –Horace

 

They are not long, the weeping and the laughter,
Love and desire and hate:
I think they have no portion in us after
We pass the gate.

They are not long, the days of wine and roses:
Out of a misty dream
Our path emerges for a while, then closes
Within a dream.

The Difficult Second Potato

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After several abortive attempts at writing today’s post I decided it wasn’t depression or politics, or even the crush of ideas and bitterness that was preventing me writing – it was trying to use the netbook on my knee while I sat by the fire.

Just after 10.30 I stepped through to the dining room with the intention of sitting down and sorting myself out.

It didn’t happen -there were comments to read and reply to and sandwiches to make for tomorrow. Finally there was washing up. Yes, washing up seemed preferable to sitting down and blogging.

I now have around 20 minutes to post and keep to my target of daily posting. I’m now limited by the time, and by the fact that I am slowly getting colder. Eventually, based on past experience, I will get so cold that I stop thinking. This is’t a bad thing because since the election I’ve mainly been thinking that everything is a complete mess. I have had to discard several posts because they were a bit too serious, and probably a bit too libellous. It’s one thing saying something to Julia, or shouting it at the TV, but once you write it down you have to prove it.

We had Hasselback potatoes again today. I was a little more relaxed with the cutting, and it did not go as well as the first lot. This is often the way with the second in a series. I tried the stir fried sprouts again too, this time with added chestnuts. I’m intending to have it at Christmas. We have settled on turkey for Christmas this year (as we have done for about the last fifteen years). We will also have roast potatoes, pigs in blankets, stuffing, bread sauce, redcurrant jelly and Yorkshire puddings.

I just noticed it’s gone midnight…

I know Yorkshire puddings aren’t traditional but Julia likes them so they are traditional for us. Personally, I’d rather have beef, pork or gammon. If anyone had suggested a nut roast I’d probably have gone for that. Even a goose. They are greasy but traditional.

It was the kids who got us back onto turkey – we’d been having beef or pork for years but they started to ask for turkey because all their friends had turkey. Now it’s become a habit. It’s not so bad now that you can buy a small crown roast – enough for a meal and a few sandwiches. Much better than the days of turkey curry, turkey stir fry and, finally, turkey soup.

I’ve started the Christmas shopping list and tomorrow I start the shopping. I’ll probably also start moaning about Christmas tomorrow.

Strictly speaking, our Christmas starts when I buy the cheese footballs. This is normally when they first appear in the Shops in Autumn, as it can be touch and go nearer to the day. I’m surprised, on looking for links, that I only seem to have mentioned them twice over the years as they are an important part of Christmas.

First the cheese footballs, then the ancient Santa card I bought Julia for our first Christmas. (I’ve also bought her one every year since, in case you are wondering), then the shopping.

The two pictures from the archives sum up the full horror of the forced jollity of Christmas, and the silent fury of a man who, having realised that he has wasted his life on trivia, will never break the bank at Monte Carlo, win a Nobel prize or, in all probability, look down and see his feet again.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Time, I think, in my tour of British poets, to turn to Dylan Thomas. I’m sure you know the one I’m thinking of. I am, after all, a man of habit and small learning.

 

Reindeer and Relaxation, and Bananas

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I’m going to give you a rest from my general tales of doctors and disasters, though I will mention that it was very quiet in the shop today. That was because, unlike most retail outlets, we don’t have a Christmas rush. Collectors tend to wait until after Christmas and then come to us to spend their Chritmas money. Today, like most men (because 95% of coin collectors are men) they were being dragged round town by their wives (because 95% of women are far too keen of Christmas).

For proof of that last point I offer Julia as evidence. I went to work this morning. She went to a Christmas Craft Fair in our local park, took pictures of reindeer (and their painted backdrop), then went to the gym, returned home and put the Christmas tree up. I’ve managed to cut us down to a small artificial tree over the years, but still can’t persuade her that 24th is early enough to put it up.

Reindeer at Woodthorpe Park
Reindeer at Woodthorpe Park
Masks at Woodthorpe Park

We also had three sales on eBay – yes, we have 1,400+ items on eBay and we sold three. And we couldn’t fulfill one of the orders because the customer added an impossible request by email. We had four more plus a telephone order during the day but it’s hardly a sparkling performance.

After work I picked Julia up and we went for tea and toasted teacakes, did some shopping and one of us read the newspaper while the other one looked at Christmas jumpers. As I read (you surely didn’t expect me to be looking at the red, white and green sparkly monstrosities, did you) I found this story.

I agree that the banana is, as pointed out, a symbol of many things, including (which they didn’t mention) the problems of cloning and monoculture.

If you want your very own copy of this artwork, I’m doing a pre-Christmas special offer of just £1,000, giving you a saving of £90,000 on the price of an original. And for that I’ll even come round to any address on mainland Britain and install it for you.

Or, as part of my newly developed franchise idea, send me £500 and I’ll send you a hand of bananas and a roll of gaffer tape.

I don’t know if I’ll make any sales, but I thought it was worth mentioning in case any of you were looking for an emergency present idea.

 

 

Christmas Day

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Day 79 of the Posting Challenge, or Christmas Day if you prefer. Twenty-one days to go.

After a lie in, TV, chocolate, nuts, snacks, nap and Muppets Christmas Carol I think it’s fair to say the day has gone well. We’re now watching Strictly Come Dancing Christmas Special. I’ve also been looking at Michael Caine on Wikipedia and following links through a series of British character actors and dodgy 1950s films.

I’m now watching a programme on Christmas songs, eating turkey and drinking wine. It’s strange to think that I once wanted to be spritual and sophisticated.

Hope you’re all having a good holiday.

 

A Slow Day

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It’s harder than you think, working without the internet. We knew we wouldn’t be working on eBay, taking card payments or using the phone. We hadn’t realised just how many times a day we needed it to look things up, research prices or simply to settle arguments.

Instead of sitting in front of a screen enjoying myself I had to sort pennies, looking for 1895s to make up the sets. They had the lowest mintage of the Old Head pennies by a long way and are always a pain to find.

I also cleared my desk, sorted my stationery supplies and ranked my pencils in order of length. In other words, apart from seven parcels in the morning, and a few customers, we were rather underworked.

Fortunately the engineers are coming out on Monday to fix it. Fingers crossed!

Now I’m going to relax and slide gently into Christmas…

Mainly Mistletoe

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Biggest news of the day is that the phone and internet in the shop have finally broken. After some patchy service they started going seriously wrong yesterday and today, after limping along for a bit, finally downed tools. The phone is useless, on account of deafening noise on the line and the wireless hub spent all afternoon refusing to connect.

We think that years of damp have corroded the innards of the main socket, which is irreversable, inconvenient and probably expensive.

As the main business of the shop centres round our internet presence this a Bad Thing.

More cheerfully, after a couple of squirts of WD-40 into the door locks my keys operate as smoothly as if they were made from pure silk. Of course, if they were they would be useless, but I’m trying to make more use of interesting imagery in my writing, even to the point of talking nonsense.

After some discussion we decided not to adopt this approach with the socket in the shop.

We boxed up 70 coin covers this morning and the are nowwaiting for a courier to pick them up and take them to the USA, proving that with the reach of eBay it’s possible to sell anything.

 

The Queen – Coin on Cover
The Queen – Coin on Cover

 

Queen Coin on Cover
Queen Coin on Cover
Queen Coin on Cover

Finally, my mistletoe arrived. We haven’t seen any around this year (apart from clumps that are so far up trees you’d need ropes and oxygen to pick it) so I ordered it on eBay. It only took a few days and it was lovely and fresh when it arrived. There was a lot of it too. The picture shows the box after I’d given four big sprigs away.

I’m very relaxed now, having obtained Julia’s mistletoe and done enough food shopping to see us through until the 27th.

I may permit myself a small sherry later…

 

 

A Day of Various Errands

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This morning I went to the garage to get a headlight replaced as I’d been unable to get the bulb out yesterday.  That seemed to be the theme of the day, as my dentist had proved similarly inept when it came to taking things out. It took five minutes to replace the bulb. Unfortunately he doesn’t do teeth. He did, however, tell me a story about a tooth extraction he had. The slightly built lady dentist couldn’t get enough traction to remove it, so she went for help. This arrived in the somewhat square shape of another female dentist. She had an eastern European accent and the build of a hammer thrower (not that I’m pandering to racial stereotypes, you understand…).

She took a firm grip on the tooth, squeezed and destroyed the tooth. He said it sounded like a car crash.

Then they cut it out.

I left the garage feeling I’d had a lucky escape.

Then I came home, blogged and ate a sausage sandwich. I had sausage rather than bacon because they are softer to chew with a booby-trapped tooth.

After that I ran Julia to the doctor, dropped off some Christmas cards and then went down to see my Dad. He’s suffering from a chest infection, which, in turn, makes him more vague. I then lost nine games of dominoes – three to my sister and six to a man with dementia and a chest infection.

My life has hit rock bottom…