Tag Archives: ambition

Regrets, I’ve had a few…

There are of course the obvious ones – I regret ever starting smoking, I regret eating so much and exercising so little and I regret not being better with money.

I regret being an indifferent husband, a bad father and an ungrateful child.

Most of all, in this miserable, whining list, I regret not being able to make Julia see my marriage potential when we first met. It took me nine years to persuade her, though as she points out, it might have been easier to persuade her if I’d adopted a life of seclusion, sobriety and celibacy. I, in turn, point out that if she’d married me I wouldn’t have needed the wine, women and song to dull the pain of rejection. I am not by nature, introspective or pale and interesting.

To this day, after 30 years of marriage, she remains unimpressed by my explanation.

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Two of my favourite things…

I was born too late to drive a Bentley Speed Six or fly a Sopwith Camel and I didn’t realise you could use a metal detector to find gold in Australia until it was too late. On the other hand, in the absence of parachutes and decent brakes, my regrets are tinged with a feeling of relief.

As for Australia, my suspicions about snakes and spiders mean I am not fully committed to the idea of wandering round with a metal detector, regardless of the possibilities.

You can, after all, find gold in Scotland if you are prepared to brave a cold river.

Finally, I confess that although I did many things I would come to regret, my main regrets are about chances I didn’t take, challenges I ducked and opportunities I missed. There is probably a good quote about this somewhere on the net, but at the moment all I can think of is “A man who never made a mistake never made anything.”

It doesn’t quite fit the subject, but it does provide a good place to break off. And it’s probably a good place to put regrets into perspective. It’s all very well looking back, wondering about “what ifs” and plotting different courses for my life, but it all points to one thing. Destiny needed me to be in Preston on a particular day in 1980. I was there. And I’ve never regretted it.

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A pattern develops…

 

Yes, I’m Moaning Again

I’ve decided to adopt a single resolution for this year. I am going to fill my time by doing more things.

While we were on the farm, I thought about taking qualifications in Fund Raising, as it seemed a decent career, and something worth doing. For various reasons, including laziness, I didn’t do it. Two years later, after we were ejected from the farm, I regretted not having anything to fall back on.

My career trajectory has been somewhat downward in the last few years, and had been level rather than upward for many years previously. Though I managed over 25 years of being self-employed, a lot of that time was spent in a variety of pursuits which included “getting by” and “surviving”. These do not look as good on a job application as being a highly motivated self-starter with a degree and a range of expertise in things I’ve never heard of.

I also thought that blogging would be a good thing to do, and would add to my range of ¬†digital skills. I’ve just been looking at the job requirements for a Communication Officer, and find that writing a blog about age, idleness and life in a shop, does not really qualify me for the job. What they seem to be looking for is a PR Professional or journalist who has a great personality, stellar track record and financial skills (because the jobs seems to include finance too) and is prepared to work for an hourly rate which is probably the same as my current one. I would admittedly get more hours but I would have to drive further to get to work.

I fear that life, employment and the modern world have all passed me by.

Those of you who have read the blog for a while will know all this and may have picked up a hint in the last paragraph but one. Yes, I have been thinking of applying for another job. It would be full time so I’d be paid more and it’s with an organisation that I admire, but it sems like a lot of hassle to go through just to be rejected in favour of a young person with better qualifications.

Yes, I know I’m being negative, but being negative doesn’t mean I’m wrong.

And that’s why I’m going to work harder. It won’t get me a job, but it will go some way to redressing my 61 wasted years.

Photographs today are banknotes. We did a lot of banknotes today. I will probably write more about banknotes later. And then I will go to bed and dream about them.

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Banknotes of Bhutan