Today I discovered another downside to old age , when I was outwitted by the wrappers on a couple of pasties. In an ideal world I would, of course, be making my own pasties, but as I have no intention of spending an hour doing something that five minutes should accomplish, I bought two pasties last week (they were on offer) and stuck them in the fridge. Tonight I got them out and just spent ten minutes wrestling with them.
It seems that I no longer have the dexterity to open a packet and extract a pasty. The packet kept resealing itself and the pasty seemed to swell so that it wedged itself in the opening. Instead of throwing them in with the roasted veg to finish the preparation of I ended up in the middle of something that felt like I was Tarzan wresting a crocodile. What should have been a simple case of lazy cookery became a voyage into self-discovery and a realisation of my own mortality.
The day started badly when someone drove into Lidl’s car park at high speed, trailing loud music, and parked across two disabled spaces. He didn’t seem disabled. He was clearly of low moral character, but that isn’t the same as a disability. He went on to crowd me at the bakery counter (which just made me move slower) and to throw fruit and veg around as he searched to the back of the shelves to find the fresher produce.
If he’d been in his twenties, or in an expensive car you’d have said he was one of those tycoon types who was always in a hurry to get ahead in life. As he was in his late 30s and driving a shabby Vauxhall, I feel he was probably just a jerk. He would, I’m sure, know all his rights if you engaged his poor lonely brain cells in conversation, but have no concept of obligations.
In an ideal world a vengeful God would have pointed a finger from the clouds and this man would have been left as a bubbling grease spot on the floor near the fresh fruit counter. He would have been a slip hazard, but no more than that. This, I feel, is where the Old Testament could teach us a thing or two.
I then went home, clutching various baked goods and helped a neighbour with a sticking door latch. This developed into a clandestine cup of tea (as we should not be meeting indoors). I think some socially distanced help with the door was in order, but drinking the tea was a sign of my moral decline. I obviously caught this from the bloke in Lidl.
From there to struggling with the pasty packaging just shows how steep the slippery slope is…
I was looking for photos when I found this picture. You don’t often find a butterfly on a crocus because butterflies are rare in crocus season. I thought I’d use it to remind myself that hope is just around the corner.
I’m intrigued: how do you know the Vauxhall was second hand?
I don’t, I was making assumptions. I have corrected it to “shabby”, which is a definite statement of fact.
😊
I can’t resist checking to see if you got your eyes tested while you were drinking tea.
Packaging is a problem for far more people than just you. I am a scissor man myself as I realise the potential harm that a sharp knife in a trembling hand can do.
I unkindly didn’t ask my helpful neighbour in for a cup of tea when he pumped up my tyres for me this afternoon. Does that make me a better or worse man than you?
Such a complicated question! In our own ways I think we are about equal in our moral delinquency, but far superior in philosophical terms to the Lidl customer, who doesn’t even realise there is such a question to be pondered. 🙂
Everyone is a great believer in ‘just using common sense’ (when it suits them) though on the whole, we are not so keen on other people using their version of common sense.
And of course, common sense isn’t as common as we’d like to think.
That is very true in my case at least.
🙂
I’ve also had problems with this type of packaging, I usually resort to a sharp knife!
I think I will start using a knife …no, Julia tells me I won’t. She suggests scissors. The sort with blunt ends you issue to children. I have had two trips to hospital as a result of knife accidents (though to be fair, only one needed stitches) and she has to keep on about it… 🙂
One of your humorous best. The crocodile wrestling is a wonderful simile
Thank you Derrick, I am trying to regain my sense of humour, which has been tested recently. 🙂
You are on form
🙂 Thank you.
That is a beautiful photo of butterfly on crocus. You are right, that is something rarely seen. A good omen for spring. 🙂
You are good for helping your neighbor. I detect no moral decline on your part. 🙂
I hope not, but I must take care.
I am often outwitted by packaging these days. Moral decline? You? No, definitely not. I am sure your neighbour would agree with me and I wouldn’t worry about the tea. 🙂
I feel better knowing you support my tea drinking. 🙂
I thought you would 😀
I always feel better when endorsed by people from Suffolk. Had cards from Lowestoft and Stowmarket today so I’m feeling very East Anglian.
I’m sure that one day soon you find your home here. 🙂
🙂