It’s an age thing

Those of you who are my age (by which I mean you remember when 12 pennies made a shilling, young people didn’t mumble and Gerry Anderson was cutting edge technology) will probably remember a time when computers were going to save is time and we weren’t going to need paper in our offices. Well, the first bit of that is true, because we haven’t had a functioning printer in the office for 12 months and it’s amazing how little printing you really need to do.

The time-saving? It might have been true before the internet but since I’ve been able to shop on Amazon, read reams of useful stuff on Wikipedia and check links such as One man decided to explore an empty cabin…and instantly regretted it (32 photos). It wasn’t instant with me but after 6 boring photos I was starting to have second thoughts and after 32 slowly loaded and dull photos I definitely regretted it. Do not click the link, it is dull enough to kill.

I’ve just wasted half an hour trying to get my computer to type. It just stopped. I tapped harder, but nothing happened. I muttered, I checked the connections at the back (wouldn’t be the first time I’ve had a “computer malfunction” relating to the keyboard or mouse becoming unplugged!), I pressed all the buttons in turn, I started and re-started and started again…

I swore, bashed the keys, told my wife (a) I wasn’t shouting at a machine and (b) that I was perfectly capable of fixing it myself.

Finally, after neither of my assertions proved true, I bashed it harder. Finally, tiring of violence, I breathed deeply and thought peaceful thoughts. Then I noticed that the Alt key seemed lower than the rest.

In the end all it took was one swift dig from a penknife and the complex mass of…er… whatever is in a computer… was rendered functional once more.

A penknife. It’s only one step up from hitting it with a rock!


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