The first is, how can I sleep so long? And how can I fall asleep in the middle of a TV programme I am interested in? I’m not sure about this, but after discussing it for more than 200 words I have come to the conclusion that it’s a mystery but it’s not very interesting, so I have edited heavily, using the “Delete” function. Old age and bad habits are probably at the root of things, so I will leave it at that.

The second mystery is my stats.Three days ago I had 41 views, 23 visitors, 15 likes and 12 comments. It’s about average. Obviously I would like to be more popular, but that might involve being nicer, or more interesting, and that’s not really my natural area.

Two days ago I managed 1,016 views, 24 visitors, 9 likes and 8 comments. That’s about average, apart from the views.

Things were moving back to normal by yesterday, with just 732 views (yes, “Just” 732 views – how soon I got used to fame and stratospheric numbers!) The blog had normal figures, with 15 visitors, 4 likes and 8 comments.

Then today, at 10.00, I have 317 views with 10 visitors, 2 likes and 9 comments.

I have a view on the Visitors, Likes and Comments figures – they are quite good for a blog that details the daily meanderings of a dull middle-aged man through modern life. Originally I had hoped for fame and fortune through blogging, but once it became clear that people want to read about food, handbags and the vacuous musings of “influencers” I resigned myself to a life of quiet mediocrity.

So there we have it. Not the greatest mystery in the world, but a mystery all the same.

For the erst of the day I will be occupying myself with medallions, poetry and snoozing in front of the TV. It’s not an exciting life, but it’s a niche that needs filling.

The picture is a clue to my puzzle-solving strategy.