Today I found out that there was something called sleep procrastination. It’s also called revenge sleep procrastination. I’ve added the link just to prove that I am telling the truth. The actual, article is rubbish and not worth reading and burbles like a blocked drain. What should have been an interesting article ends up making no sense and not being worth the ten minutes I spent reading it. Any way, I don’t suffer from it. I’m too old, too male and too something else to fit the profile. You can tell how much I bothered to take in from the fact I can’t remember a big chunk of it.

We have too many things with names in the world today, and once you start to give them names you give them power over you. Now that sleep procrastination has a name people will worry about it, “suffer” from it, want time off from work because of it and expect equality with other spurious  ailments like “paternity” (you can get time off work for that) and the weakness in the legs that new parents seem to suffer from these days – meaning they need special parking spaces near the doors of supermarkets. Same goes for hygiene -0 the consequences of hygiene ar truly dreadful, including allergies, from what I see. Kids should be free to run across car parks and eat dirt.

That way they grow up with better agility and peripheral vision (well, most of them do, there’s obviously some Darwinian adjustment along the way) and fewer allergies. One of my cousins was fond of worms, which are famously full of soil, and still manged to grow up big and strong and win a provincial rowing championship.

Anyway, enough for now, Pointless is on. The picture shows what happens if you encourage your kids to grow up in a car park full of soil. It was a cold day in Leeds and he will get his revenge when he has to select a care home for me.