Tag Archives: ranting

The New Computer and the New Computer Rant

Am I the only one objecting to having to write an autobiography before being allowed to use a computer I just paid for? because I once used my email address for a Google account I can’t use it again, so have had to start a new email account. Why do they always need my date of birth too? If it’s because of “adult content” issues I would be quite capable of lying about my age and if it isn’t they don’t need it. As far as a computer company is concerned that is as relevant as my shoe size. That is 11 or 12, depending on width and fit, as my left foot is half a size bigger than the right and I sometimes have to buy twelves to accommodate that. It’s not a secret, it’s just not something that Microsoft needs to know. Meanwhile, in asking me for details, they applied the password not just to the Microsoft account but to the computer. I don’t need a computer password. If Americans want to know why the rest of the world sometimes has reservations about them, just ask Bill Gates why this should be. First of all he rents us software we used to be able to buy, then he makes us open accounts just to use our own computers. Next thing you know he’ll be cutting off our access if he doesn’t like what we say.

If the Chinese Government ever brings out a word processing package I will seriously consider using it on the basis it can’t be any more intrusive than Microsoft already is.

At last the changeover went comparatively easily, apart from writing the autobiography and then providing some of the information in duplicate. or triplicate. WE can invent computers (which is a bit like alchemy or witchcraft to a simple soul like me, and we can travel to the Moon ( or a TV studio in the desert) but we can’t, it seems, design a system that allows you type a phone number in one place on a form and allow it to show up every time they want your phone number.

AS for picking it up, it was interesting. They sent me an email in the morning telling me it was ready to pick up, but I had just started watching Sharpe, so I left it a while. You have to tell them you are outside the shop by pressing a link they send you. This, of course assumes you have your phone set up for email. I did when I was managing junior rugby teams but I don’t need it now so I never set it up on the phone. ASDA do the same with their Click & Collect. They assume the whole world are slaves to their phones. It isn’t true. Some of us still retain the power of thought and don’t ned all that electronic pap. It’s a plot I tell you, encouraging stupidity, mediocrity and self-centred behaviour. Our current House of Commons is quite clearly the result of early experiments in this direction.

I long for the old days when it was all about back-stabbing, naked ambition and class war. They were still a waste of space, but at least they were comparatively honest and straightforward.

That meant I had to forward the email to Julia who came with me to the shop and pressed the link once we found our way through the badly marked slalom course that was supposedly the system of collection bays. How difficult can it be to draw an arrow that looks like an arrow rather than a hockey stick. There are some well-established conventions on this, Pointy bit and shaft. It most definitely isn’t either rocket science or a hockey stick.

I interpreted it to mean that I had to turn back on myself and as a result, lost two places in the queue. I hate it when that happens. Anyway, it’s all running now, just leaving me to chunter that I can’t see why Windows 10 is necessary as it’s no advance on the old system.

Oh, hang on, I’m wrong. It is an advance on the old system because it enables Microsoft to make you buy new stuff.

One small backward step for mankind, one giant leap for Microsoft profits.

My new computer looks nothing like the one in the picture, but it’s the only computer photo I can find. Mine is more of a chunky black box attached to things (including a twelve -year-old screen, with a mass of tangled wires.

Tomorrow I’m going to try using more photos.

It might have been a mistake to use a random subject generator…

I couldn’t decide what to write about today so I turned to an online random subject generator.

This is what it gave me:

What has made you angry recently?

Let me count the ways, as Shakespeare said.

Random subject generators would be a good start. I could have written that without prompting but I’m aiming for a pleasanter and more reflective me. I was hoping for something like puppies or rainbows.

If I want a prompt for an outpouring of bile I could do that myself.

British Telecom, idiotic enquiries on the phone, unseasonably warm weather when I’m dressed for autumn, people who can’t park properly, idiotic enquiries in person, coworkers taking my sellotape, American spellings, Christmas preparations in October, children with plastic harmonicas, the way I’ve wasted my life and people who say “I have a rare coin.”

Yes, I’ve been sitting in a shop sweating in unseasonable heat answering the phone and typing in opposition to an American-themed spell-checker.

Most stupid enquiry – “I have a coin from 1980, how much is it worth?”

Despite the BT troubles when we moved in and the (wrong) replacement router, the broadband seems to drop off when the phone rings. It doesn’t happen all the time, and seems to be related to the IQ of the caller.

I’ve covered the rest of the things in previous general rants, apart from the child with the plastic harmonica.

Don’t get me started…

It’s lucky they don’t let us carry pistols in the UK.