Tag Archives: public toilets

Day 160

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I went to use the toilet whilst I was in Bakewell this afternoon (we were taking the visitors on a quick tour of Derbyshire). I’m told, having spent much of the afternoon discussing linguistic differences between English and Canadian English, that this expression is considered indelicate in North America. It seems that “use the bathroom” is the polite alternative, as “use the toilet”, which falls into the category of too much information. However, there are two things to consider here. One is that the room with the toilet in is called “the toilet” by most people I know. We have a toilet in our toilet. We have a bathroom with a bath and wash basin in it. Believe me when I say you wouldn’t want me to get confused and “use the bathroom” for what I have in mind.

Anyway, after having fish and chips by the bridge I nipped round the corner and offered my card to the reader on the public toilet entry system. It took some effort as I was using two sticks, which needed steadying as I fished my wallet from my pocket.

“Cash Only” flashed up on the screen.

I had to move at that point, to let someone out. I was tempted to rush the doors as they opened for him, but the presence of a cleaner prevented me. The presence of the cleaner also prevented me using a trick one of the Bakewell market traders showed me several years ago.

Juggling card, wallet and two sticks I struck up a conversation with the cleaner.

“Excuse me,” I said, “is there a toilet around here that doesn’t require payment?”

He looked at me suspiciously.

“The card reader isn’t working.” I said.

He checked.

“Have you any cash?”

“I have a £1 coin but I don’t really want to use that for a 20p payment.”

I also wanted to add that if I had 20p I would have used it and not have juggled with card, wallet and two sticks. But I remained polite and charming.

So he let me in free of charge. They are very nice toilets, and well worth 20p. They are probably worth £1 if you need them, but I don’t feel like paying £1 when they only want 20p and can’t keep their system in working order.

Photographer at Bakewell

 

 

 

Being British, and Spending a Penny

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It rained all night, drying up in time to drive to work. I then returned home to collect a parcel for delivery in Newark and arrived at Newark Market just as the thunder claps started. After that rain stopped it became quite hot, I took my coat off, and the sky clouded over again. I left before the dark grey sky could fulfil its threat. On the way home the weather was remarkably pleasant, actually being sunny and hot.

Weather talk is typically British, I admit. I will therefore move onto something typically middle-aged.

I needed the toilet when I arrived in Newark. The one nearest the car park has been closed for some years now, as part of the “improvements” to the town centre. However, I knew there were toilets in the Town Hall (which is also home to the museum and a half-derelict shopping centre). Problem solved, you would think. But no, those are closed too – only one “Accessible” toilet remains, and that wasn’t accessible because you need a RADAR key.

Now, I’m not disabled, but I’m not very mobile either. That means that although I’m not ready to admit to needing a RADAR key, it’s not very easy to climb the stairs in the pub next door. Anyway, I have a conscience about using pub toilets if I’m not using the pub.

Enquiries revealed that there are toilets round the back  of the shopping centre, not far from where I started. If I’d looked to my right instead of walking straight on as I left the car park I may have seen the grey-coloured sign suspended high on a wall. Even when you are close you can’t see it very well.

You then have to insert 20p, in 5,10 or 20p coins. I only had a 50p so had to ask a passer-by for change because they have a sign telling you they don’t give change. Twenty pence – that’s 48 times what it used to cost when I was a lad and “spending a penny” was a term you used to hear.

Two attendents were chatting in a cubbyhole, though one had gone by the time I emerged – some evidence that the rate-payer’s cash isn’t being totally wasted. Neither looked like this was the job of their dreams.

Newark markets itself as a tourist destination – based on today’s experience they have some way to go, which is sad as they’ve been doing it longer than I can remember (by which I mean around 30 years) and show no evidence of even getting the basics right.

In typical British fashion I made my feelings known be emitting a low-pitched but definite “humph!” as I left.

I am seriously thinking of writing a stiff letter to the council.