Tag Archives: Prime Minister

Bald, Short, Unelectable

Part 2 of my examination of world politics.

It’s conventional wisdom that bald men do less well in elections than people with more luxuriant hair covering. Donald Trump’s streaming locks show that even  comb-over can help a candidate with his success. Boris Johnson’s hair was clearly important to him, and did the job of persuading the electorate that an egotistical, opportunist liar was just the man we needed to steer the nation through difficult times.

Mute Swan

Biden did well, with his hairline, to oust Trump. Boris was initially replaced by a woman, an experiment the Americans have not yet tried, and then by Rishi Sunak, who has an enviably elegant hair cut, but is terribly, terribly deficient in other factors needed for electoral success. Yes, it’s inches that count. American research shows that the tallest candidate normally wins these days. It hasn’t always been the same, but in days of television it does seem to be the way. Eisenhower was balding and only 5ft 10½ inches and probably wouldn’t have won if TV had been better established. Tall enough and hairy enough to lead the Allied Armies to victory in Normandy, it’s strange to think that in modern times he would probably not have been elected.

Why is all this? Is it because tall, hairy men are seen as more virile? Or is it, as some research suggests, merely because they are used in advertising to depict desirable characteristics? This is an interesting examination of the question – from a UK marketing magazine but based on a lot of American research. Here’s one on height.

Mute Swan at Clumber Park

I’ve just been looking at the heights of British Prime Ministers and have discovered why Britain is declining in importance in the world. It isn’t just that we were bankrupted by two World Wars, or that our industry is badly run, or that everyone hates us because of the Empire. Much simpler than that – our leaders are too short. Simple.

In the UK we have the additional factor that it’s easier to become PM if you went to Oxford University. In fact it’s almost obligatory. Of the 14 Prime Ministers in my lifetime there have been 11 who attended Oxford University, two who attended no University and one who went to Edinburgh.

Yep, short upper class tossers. That’s why we are in this state. I really should have gone into political analysis rather than poultry farming.

Whooper Swans on farmland near Frampton Marsh

Finally, I have to quote the MarketingWeek article because it fits my view of 21st Century Britain so well. No need to follow the link if you already clicked it, but it’s full of good stuff.

” We live in an era of unprecedentedly widespread affluence and choice. And many people enjoy the fruits of this abundance, despite their being at best half-educated and at worst near idiots. They bring both to the market and to the polling booth a self-centred, babyish superficiality and desire for instant gratification.”

Bewick’s Swan stamp

All three British swans for this one, though Bewick’s is only on a postage stamp and the Whoopers are not terribly clear..

It’s Wednesday and I can’t think of a title

Sorry I ‘ve been a bit erratic. I seem to have been very tired over the past few days and just haven’t got round to blogging. This isn’t much of an excuse, I know, because there isn’t a lot of  effort involved in typing a few hundred words, but it just seems to have defeated me. This, I suppose is a sign that I’m getting old. When I was a lad I’d think nothing of starting work at 6am and then working and carousing my way through the next eighteen or twenty hours. I had so much more energy…

Much less sense, but definitely much more energy.

I think I mentioned that we were hard at work putting Duke of Edinburgh coins and medallions on the internet. I’m not sure if I mentioned that I remarked to the boss that if my co-worker had been at work he would have been telling us off for a lack of good taste. And sure enough, when he returned to work and saw what we’d been selling, he did comment on our poor taste. It seems to be poor taste that is gently paying off, and it has certainly paid my wages for a week.  Most of it was already on and just needed “Duke of Edinburgh” or “Prince Philip” adding to the title. The medallion pictured in my last post is now on its way to Australia. A lot of people in Australia like royalty items. A lot, to be fair, probably favour a republic.  I’m easy either way, but if someone wants to buy something, I’m happy to sell it.

That, I think is enough for now. It’s going to end up around 300 words and that’s a good start. I don’t want to bury my readers under a deluge of invective about David Cameron, for instance, who is either slightly immoral or very, very stupid, with his lobbying activities. Looking at his track record, I actually favour very, very stupid. I made the mistake of watching Prime MInister’s Questions this morning, and the current incumbent, and his opposition opposite number gave me a great insight into the politics of the school yard and the way that two reputed heavyweight intellects become childish idiots when you give them a country to run.

I had a brainwave whilst watching them, and looking at the rest of the associated sycophants. It’s a pay per view game show combining Prime Minister’s Questions and the current fascination for big cats. If I say that the working title is “Release the Lions” , you can probably guess the rest.

I still haven’t touched on roadworks, builders and pharmacies. I may have to write a second post…

A Day for Clerihews

The Clerihew, according to Wikipedia, is a four line biographical poem invented by Edmund Clerihew Bentley, with a rhyme scheme of aabb. The lines are irregular, though the first line should feature the name of the person who is the subject of the poem.  Bentley believed that the name should be at the end of the line as part of the challenge lay in finding a rhyme for awkward names. It can be whimsical, absurd and inaccurate.

In other words, they aren’t very demanding in terms of technique and historical research.

Here are three that I’ve written as part of a series about British Prime Ministers. Don’t rely on them if you are revising for an exam on the subject. I’ve covered PMs in other posts, but as there have been around 57 of them I still have a way to go.

I will try a few more over Christmas as I will have (a) time and (b) an unpleasantly crotchety attitude, which are both useful for political subjects.

 

 

Robert Walpole, 1st Earl of Orford,

was known to be fond of his orchard.

He was in power for 20 years.

And he raised gin tax, causing many tears.

 

Augustus Henry FitzRoy, 3rd Duke of Grafton

never wore a kaftan.

As a Chathamite Whig

he was a bit of a prig.

 

 

PM Stanley Baldwin

had a disagreement with the King.

A man of stately carriage,

he opposed King Edward’s marriage.