Tag Archives: mortality

A Few Sobering Thoughts

I knew it was the end of the month because of the increasing sense of urgency that always comes on at this time. What I hadn’t realised until today was that this also means I have doner nothing about decluttering for over a month. One twelfth of the year has slipped by . It’s not as if I have that many months to waste. Assuming I live into my mid-80s, which is about the family norm, I only have about 200 months to go. I will pause for a moment and think about that.

I paused. I thought. And then a little voice came into my head. Looks like I will be going on a diet tomorrow. And exercising. And taking more notice of the doctor. I might even start taking notice of Julia, though it’s unlikely. The trouble is that if I were a betting man, I wouldn’t be confident about the “mid-80s” part of the prediction.

When we were moving house I found some paperwork I had done when I was working for someone else and before we had children, detailing what I had to do to retire at 60. Of course, the accuracy of that prediction melted like snow in June as soon as I went into business for myself and we had kids.

Once, though, I was organised and reasonably successful. I wasn’t, however, as happy as I would have liked. I am, despite the unsuccessful life that followed, quite happy and although my lack of material success and career achievement come back to haunt me now and again, I’m reasonably happy with what I’ve done.

And so, with 200 months to go, I’m going to start making the most of it. More plans, more things to do and around 6,000 more blog posts to write. It’s going to be an interesting time.

Photos are some that Julia took at Ferry Meadows. The one of the heron shading the water is particularly interesting – I didn’t know they did that in the UK. I thought it was something they did in sunny places. he second picture shows it with a fish in its beak. Unfortunately, the light ws poor.

A Life Without Toast

23 Replies

The starting point for today’s post is that everything is going well.

I managed to take my antibiotics without mishap (yes, although I haven’t written about it yet, I even had a problem with antibiotics on my return from hospital), am well-rested, and am looking forward to a breakfast of scrambled eggs. I’d bee looking forwards to a breakfast of scrambled eggs on toast even more, but one of the first casualties in my war on weight is toast. It’s always been a target, but it has to be eliminated ruthlessly. My previous successful attempts at weight loss have not been through fancy diets, just through simple stuff.

A couple of years ago I stopped having toast at breakfast and cut down to one sandwich at lunchtime. Even without exercise, I managed a small but steady weight loss. Part of my problem is that I used to have active days featuring a lot of walking and lifting and, as I became more managerial (as in chair and car-based) I carried on with the calories and reduced the burning. Same for leisure. I reduced the walking and increased the TV. But mentally, I didn’t make the shift.

Same when I gave up smoking. I felt my metabolism shift, but I didn’t alter my intake.

So, when you strip away all the Hollywood glamour, the miracle cures, the avocados and the steaks, you are left with the truth. If you want to lose weight you have to burn more calories than you eat.

And if you can’t walk far you are going to have to achieve the rebalancing by eating a lot less. That’s why targeting bread is always good – it also cuts out the cheese, the McDonalds and the snacks.

It’s a bleak picture of a spartan retirement, but after the last few days I’ve had to ask myself a few questions about how I want the rest of my life to be, and that starts with a very simple question – long or short? I can work on the details later.

Meanwhile, whilst hovering round Death’s garden gate recently (it’s the one where you enter and dawdle along Death’s garden path until you actually reach Death’s Door) I had to make an official decision for medical purposes. I went for resuscitation, partly because it’s a new spelling to learn, and partly because my bed was in the corridor outside the resuscitation room, which seemed like a sign. Or a hint.

And that, in my weakened state, is enough for now.

Quinoa Salad – health on a plate

Pictures of salad are harder to find than pictures of fish and chips or cake. I will let yuo draw your own conclusions.

Day 100 (Part 2)

14 Replies

This was the alternative post I was thinking of making today. I was going to post it later but I thought I’f do it then move on.

this morning I lay in be thinking. I often do that on Sunday, then go back to sleep for an hour or two. I have nothing pressing to do and getting up late helps to differentiate Sunday from other days. On other days I may lie in bed and think, but I do it under the pressur of knowing taht I have to get up.

This morning I thought it would be nice to find a Chinese restaurant that serves businessman’s lunches, as they used to be called, and take Julia out on Wednesday. We used to go to one in Matlock when we were out during the week – a no frills two course meal with coffee for very little money. We lost the habit over the years, and it has been a long time since I thought about it.

That led me on to all you can eat buffets and the lesson I learnt that I actually enjoyed them more if I didn’t fill myself up to the ears. When you are paying a fixed price and presented with a lot of food it is always a temptation. It’s also tempting to fill up on several plates of snacks before attempting to eat several main courses.

The plan I eventually settled on was to eat a good selection of snacks, some pancakes and duck, and then move on to a main course made up of two or three dishes. You still eat plenty that way and get value for money. You don’t however, feel bloated, ill, unable t move or gluttonously greedy. Once I adopted the new method I found myself enjoying the e experience a lot more.

At one time three of us used to joke that we ought to go for one of these buffets and see what the management did. I can, as you may have gathered, shift a lot of food, and it shows. X, as I will refer to him, who was often mistaken for my brother due to size and ginger beard, was similarly placed and Y, the third of us, was built along the lines traditionally used by coopers in making large barrels.

We never did do it. Y died in his 40s, mainly due to an hereditary heart condition. Y died due to diabetes when he was 50, a sad end to man who served in the Territorial Army for 12 years and used to do a couple of ten mile runs a week.

That just leaves me. Sixty three but with a body at least ten, if not twenty years older. I hadn’t until today, really put it all together. It also dawned on me that two of the people who were at Y’s funeral are also dead now. One at 64 as his body just gave out due to weight and lifestyle (much the same as me) and one from a recurrence of his cancer.

It was a sobering thought, and one that made me think seriously before eating during the day. The only difference between me and the others is that I eat better quality fresh food. Several of them took more exercise than I do, and two or three were probably thinner.

It feels like today was a cross-roads. Sorry for being a bit too serious, but it’s something I want to note down for posterity.

And now I’ve written it down I can forget about it.

Pope Benedict XVI

Cardinal Newman

You can decide for yourself whether the pictures are about me getting religion or about me collecting medallions. 🙂

Housework, Marriage and Mortality

15 Replies

It’s Wednesday. I have escaped Julia’s clutches today, though it’s at the cost of going into work, so it’s a sort of swings and roundabouts thing. No domestic duties, but more parcels.

First I have to give blood, then we are going for a McDonald’s breakfast. After that I will go to work and she will stay at home with a list of jobs. When she uttered the words “for better, for worse” I wonder what she thought it meant. I have not improved. I haven’t done too well on “in sickness and in health” or “for richer, for poorer” either. However, she sticks with me.

I often wonder about modern marriage vows. I came across some while checking the wording of ours, and it looks like some of the vows last longer than the actual marriages. I note that even in 1549 the bride had the option to omit the word “obey”. Four hundred years later my mother omitted it from her vows and forty years later she advised Julia to do the same, t’m not sure there was ever any danger of Julia doing what she was told anyway.

I just had a quick look at some statistics and it seems that divorce rates are falling in the UK, however, by the 30th wedding anniversary 40% of marriages will have been ended by divorce and 11% by death. I’m a bit concerned about the 11% by death, which seems a lot, particularly if you married in your 20s. This does tend to highlight the sickness and health aspects.

So there you go – I started with housework, moved on to marriage and ended with mortality. After that cheerful start I wonder what my day holds . . .

The Bludgeonings of Chance

30 Replies

Three weeks ago we had freedom, full shops and nothing to fear, and we didn’t appreciate how lucky we were.

Three weeks ago it was cold and I was wearing a fleece and jumper in the house and sleeping under two duvets. Now I have discarded the fleece and jumper and a duvet. However, it looks like the cold may be making a return, so things may not have changed as much as I thought.

Chives

Cranesbill

PoppyRA

Three weeks ago I was always tired, as I never managed to get any decent sleep. These days I am remarkably well rested and and my life has taken on a natural rhythm, which sees me sitting up until the early hours then sleeping in until it is time to get up and eat brunch. It’s not a way of living that will survive the resumption of work, but it’s very relaxing.

For me, life in lockdown has not been too bad. There have been bits where I worried about where all the food had gone, and even a short period where I worried about dying. Then I realised that I wasn’t going to starve and that there was nothing I could do about dying. So I forgot to worry.

I’m not really worrying about anything right now. I’m taking steps to ensure a good supply of food and I’m keeping myself isolated but that’s not the same as lying awake at night worrying about starvation and death.

I have accumulated a number of health problems that are mainly to do with over-indulgence, and if the coronavirus gets me it will be my own fault. To be honest, until I read the information on factors that might lead to my death I didn’t even think I was ill. I kept reading about elderly people with underlying health problems and thinking “Poor sods. I’m glad I’m not one of them.”

Allium

Honeysuckle

Poppy

Then I actually read the list and realised I was one of them.

I am currently preparing for death by looking up famous last words and combing through poetry for suitable quotes.

It doesn’t do to be morbid. On the other hand it’s just as well to have your famous last words ready, because if they aren’t good enough they may never become famous.

Burntstump Country Park, Notts

The photographs are, again, from a time when I was allowed to drive to places and walk round.

Off to the Dentist

16 Replies

The day has come, and I’m in the space only known to people with important appointments. It’s that gap of about an hour where it’s too soon to set off and there doesn’t seem enough time to do anything useful.

It’s the last day for second class post in the UK, and I have cards to send, but I can’t concentrate. There isn’t even time for a decent post.

I’ve been told to eat before going, which isn’t normally a problem, but today I don’t feel hungry.

Today I have a painful appointment with the dentist and come face to face with mortlity.

The wisdom tooth I had taken out twenty years ago was a routine thing, lots of people have that done.

The one I lost last year had been giving trouble for over 30 years and finally disintegrated under pressure from a Mint Imperial, so it worried me, but not too much.

Today I am losing an adult tooth to decay. Memories of my parents telling me to brush properly are coming back to haunt me. It’s neglect and old age and death rolled into one and I can feel one of my feet sinking into the grave.

I’m half expecting the dentist to wear a shroud and hack the tooth out with his scythe.

Ah well, time to go now…

More Random Titles and Happiness

I took another look at the random generator and came up with: Is there anything you regret?

The answer, of course, is “yes”.

I think I’ll leave it at that as going further into an answer is like opening a big bag of misery and reaching in right up to the elbows. Yes, I regret a lack of confidence, parenting skills, education and skill at saving. But all the wallowing in the world won’t change it, so on to the next question.

Those of you who are able to put up with bad language might like to read a bit of Larkin on the subject.

Write about how you drive (or why you don’t).

I drive less well than I did when I was in my 40s. However, I make up for that loss of quality with the increasing volume of advice I dispense to other drivers.

Write about an experience that made you very happy.

Starting on WordPress made me happy. It was a bit of a trial at first, and still can be on some days, but overall, I’m happy when I’m typing and thinking of all the interesting people out there.

I was also happy when I found the random subject generator. I was having a tough morning thinking and it has eased the burden of thinking quite nicely.

Who from your past do you wish were still around?

Actually, shelve what I just said about it making me happy. You can’t live your life looking back and thinking about what might have been.

There are dozens of family members that I’d like to have around, but I’d want them back in healthy and happy times, not how they were when they died. And that sounds a bit like the plot for a horrible sci-fi plot.

I’m not sure whether to go for another random title or not.

Write about your feet.

Yes, time to call it a day. My feet have done sterling service over the years but this is one subject too many…

Paths of Glory

9 Replies

The boast of heraldry, the pomp of pow’r,

And all that beauty, all that wealth e’er gave,

Awaits alike th’ inevitable hour.

The paths of glory lead but to the grave.

Elegy Written in a Country Churchyard – Thomas Gray

I’ve just finished reading The Final Whistle: The Great War in Fifteen Players . I bought it last week when I was supposedly getting rid of some books at the Oxfam shop. It is, as you may be able to guess from the title, a book about the Great War and rugby. I’m not one of those people who can quote details of Divisions and battles and all that stuff but I do have an interest in the subject, and I also like rugby.

As a result, I am now motivated to finish a post I began after visiting Southwell Minster. For me, the most interesting part of the visit is the original wooden grave marker of Major J P Becher. It’s on the wall of the graveyard at the east end of the Minster, and I always worry that one day it will disintegrate.

Original wooden grave marker at Southwell Minster

In this case, Major Becher is commemorated in many other places, as are his brothers-in-law. The brothers-in-law were both killed on the day that Becher suffered his fatal wounds. He lived on for another ten weeks before finally dying, having been too badly injured to be sent home from France.

Grave marker – Major J P Becher

His son, as seen from the small cross in the picture, died in the Second World War.

Father and son

Families were allowed to have the original wooden grave markers returned to them when the permanent stone markers were erected, though I’m not sure how many actually applied for them. I imagine that although it represented closure for many families, it was far too painful for others.

One of my great grandmothers, having lost a son and a son-in-law and seen two other sons seriously injured, refused to even to discuss the war. Another one, having been widowed and left with three young daughters, died in the TB hospital in Lancaster five years after the death of her husband.

It was International Women’s Day yesterday, so it might be appropriate to spend a moment thinking about the women in this story, who also suffered in the war, though nobody erected a memorial to them.

The above link to my great grandmother’s headstone was a complete surprise to me. I was going to add CWGC details but browsed a few others and found that. Though I’ve been in that church and graveyard several times in the past I never thought to look for family gravestones at the time and it was on the list of “things to do”.

That’s the wonder of the web, and a whole new post.

quercuscommunity

Life after the Care Farm