Tag Archives: boring day

I Invent a New Poetic Form

Well, it’s been a thought-provoking day.

It started when I wrenched myself from bed and took Julia to work. The mornings are already significantly darker than they were a month ago. By 6.15 I was taking photographs by the roadside and at 6.30 arrived at the services ready to collect Number Two Son. He was supposed to be off shift at 7.00 but nobody turned up. Eventually he was relieved at 8.15 after ringing round.

 

I tried to pass my time profitably, by writing haiku and watching people. The people-watching didn’t go well as there was nobody interesting to watch, apart from a hairy middle-aged man wearing only shorts and flip-flops. Even that wasn’t really interesting, just an anthropological footnote.

The haiku? They soon degenerated into my favoured format – the clerihew. I didn’t produceĀ  any of note this morning but this one has been hanging round in the drafts for a while. It features a Japanese word so it’s a hybrid form I just invented, the haiklerihew.

Martin van Buren,

was au fait with shitsuren,

and, stressing ideology over personality,

opened an era of boring banality

It’s a niche market and I can’t help feeling I may have written more haiklerihews than the world needs.

Now I just need to use canicular.

 

Then I did laundry, shopped, snoozed and picked Julia up from work. We had salad for tea. We were going to have roast vegetables and belly pork but I fell asleep in front of the TV and it was a bit late to start cooking.

I can’t help feeling I’m not using Sunday to its full potential.

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Strange clouds over the Trent Valley

A boring day, and how I amused myself

Had a lie in, wrenched myself from nice warm bed, dropped Julia at work (she starts at 11.00 on Saturdays, in case you were wondering how this fits with the lie in), took some books to a charity shop, bought some books from the charity shop, made sandwiches for lunch, checked bird reports, checked WordPress, checked Isle of Mull, checked telescopes and digiscoping, picked Julia up from work, made corned beef hash (with mashed root veg and stir fried cabbage), ordered a bokashi bucket on-line, cancelled order when they messed me about at the checkout, went shopping and, finally, wrote a long boring sentence about my long, boring day.

That’s the bare bones of it. It’s also the longest sentence I have ever written. One hundred and nine words. According to the experts that is enough words for four or five sentences. I’m pretty sure that it will be considered difficult to read. There is a figure I’ve seen somewhere that indicates most people can’t follow a sentence past 30 words.

I’ve just put a sample of my writing through a readability calculator and come up with the following –

Flesch Reading Ease score: 70.7 (text scale)
Flesch Reading Ease scored your text: fairly easy to read.
Gunning Fog: 11.3 (text scale)
Gunning Fog scored your text: hard to read.
Flesch-Kincaid Grade Level: 8.6
Grade level: Ninth Grade.
The Coleman-Liau Index: 7
Grade level: Seventh Grade
The SMOG Index: 7.8
Grade level: Eighth grade
Automated Readability Index: 8.4
Grade level: 12-14 yrs. old (Seventh and Eighth graders)
Linsear Write Formula : 12.1
Grade level: Twelfth Grade.
Readability Consensus

Based on 8 readability formulas, we have scored your text:
Grade Level: 9
Reading Level: fairly easy to read.
Reader’s Age: 13-15 yrs. old (Eighth and Ninth graders).
I always thought I was easy to read. I’ve certainly always tried to be easy to read. I’ll take “fairly easy”, and try to make it simpler. But to see myself graded as “hard” in one of the scales seems a bit tough.
If you want a go, you can find the calculator here.
Next time I’m bored I may try housework. Housework wouldn’t be keeping me awake worrying about my writing style.