A few years ago, having bought too much cheese at Christmas I lost some in the back of the fridge. A piece of cheddar struck up an acquaintance with the neighbouring Stilton and produced a lovely creamy blue cheddar. I thought about trying to do it again, but didn’t, as I fear I would just be disappointed. Plus, I didn’t really want to become a cheese maker.

Earlier this week, being cavalier in my attitudes to putting jars in the fridge after opening, I ended up with mould on a jar of apricot jam. The main store cupboard in the kitchen can get quite warm at times (there is a radiator on the other side of the wall behind it) and I feel this may have something to do with it, as it rarely happened at the last place where the food cupboards were up against external walls.

We were having croissants for breakfast. I order them about once a month as Julia likes them. I can take them or leave them. I remarked that there was mould on the jam and suggested she be careful about not picking it up on her knife. She, as usual, over-reacted. I, it seems, was dicing with death by eating this jam. Mould is deadly. Did I want to make myself ill? It’s an argument we have had before. Lots or websites and magazines tell you it is deadly stuff. But he evidence of my own experimentation with moulds is that they don’t do much harm.

Look at Stilton and penicillin, for instance. Have they ever killed anybody?

Exactly.

So next time it happens I am going to scrape it off before she sees it (which is what I normally do) and not mention it. I’d better be careful now, in case the worst happens. What starts off as a joke in a blog looks very different in the hands of a barrister and an expert witness in R v Quercus.

Anyway, to get to the point, do you have a viewpoint on mouldy food? Mine is that I don’t want to buy it mouldy but don’t mind eating it. Apart from that black fluffy stuff. That does not look appetising.

I assume you all already have a view on uxoricide, so I won’t ask.