You may remember that a week ago I wrote about taking Julia to help at the Robin Hood Marathon, getting caught in the appalling traffic system by the Railway Station and waiting in anticipation for a ticket for using a bus lane. This morning I finally breathed a sigh of relief as the normal three or four day wait has passed. That saved me £35. (It’s not that I make a habit of contravening the regulations regarding bus lanes, but the council actually make it very hard to get round the city without occasionally crossing the line). Literally crossing the line in the case of bus lanes.
However, in my jubilation I forgot one thing – standards are slipping in all areas of life and Nottingham City Council bus lane enforcement is no exception – it took a whole week for the letter to arrive, but arrive, it did.
In a way it was a relief to open it as it looked very like a letter from the NHS from the outside, and, on balance, I’d rather have a £35 fine than one of the procedures that seem to be the fate of an elderly man in the hands of the NHS.
I could be heroic about this. I could prepare a dossier in my defence, demonstrate the evils of the traffic system and submit is with photographs and high flown prose defending my position and seeking to have the ticket set aside. However, I’ve attempted this before and it never works. Basically they don’t need to do anything, they just say no and tell you that you will have to go to court if you insist of defending yourself.
There are a number of things I can do. I could, for instance, kidnap the Sheriff of Nottingham (yes, we really do have one) and hold him for ransom until they pay me £70, halved to £35 if they pay it within 21 days.
Or I could send a bill to the Robin Hood Marathon, as it was their fault. If Julia hadn’t volunteered, and if they hadn’t closed the roads I would have been enjoying my breakfast at 7.42 am, not getting a ticket.
The possibilities for mischief are endless . . .
Picture for the day is more of the school shed. I want a shed like that when I retire.