Snowy Detail

I have had plenty of time to let my mind freewheel over Christmas and my thoughts, when not connected to food, TV or being a gracious host, have turned to founding a new religion.

It’s quite clear that a lot of the old ones have not quite lived up to their initial promise, and the newest religion in the UK, which appears to be Jedi, has been lifted from a film franchise and probably has copyright issues. It has also been turned down for charitable status in the UK.

I’m not quite sure what the main thrust of our doctrine will be. I grew up in a world where Protestants and Catholics were killing each other and have “progressed” to a world where Jews, Muslims and Christians are still fighting.  It’s not good and we really should stop.

So, Rule Number One – stop killing people. Or if you want it slightly more Biblical – thou shalt not blow up they neighbour’s house. Particularly if it’s in a different country.

Robin at Clumber, Nottinghamshire

There will probably be more as time goes on, but if we get that one right we won’t be doing too badly. It will involve a bit of rewriting, taking all the best bits from other religions, probably lighten up on the oxen coveting, but come down heavily of reality TV. We can do without it.

My church, my rules.

Then there is the question of prayer wheels. I think we should have them. I also think they should be turned by hamsters. Obviously, if we attend any multi-faith events we will have to watch out for Americans with snakes, but apart from that it should be no problem, and the Youth Wing will love them.

Our main Festival will be on a weekend in summer, making it easier to shop and cutting down on the necessity to stock up. If there’s no Christmas rush and no shutting of shops., you can just nip out and  buy anything you have forgotten.

Pom-pom Christmas Wreath