My glasses fell apart a few months ago. They came off awkwardly and one of the arms fell off. It fitted back on but every so often, including in the middle of my medallion talk, it comes off again. I usually just push it on as I’m not near any glue, and it stays on for a couple of weeks.
Last night it came off and I decided to take the glasses to work in two parts, so that I could glue them using the tube of superglue in the drawer.
Now, I’m not a vain man, and have never let appearance intrude in my spectacle buying, as a look at my glasses collection will tell you. Over the years my long sight has grown longer and my distance vision has improved as my close-up vision has declined. I have worked round this with a selection of cheap non-prescription glasses in a variety of styles, and have a selection of black, brown, zebra-stripe and purple frames to show for it.
However, it is undeniable that people do judge on first impressions and if you are wearing the glasses of an idiot, you are going to be judged. That’s why I like the rickety pair in question – a look of tortoiseshell (which I always think looks better on the tortoise) and generous-sized lenses work together to make me look like an eccentric academic, or an apprentice psychopath, and that works well in the shop.
So, back to the shop. It’s 8.55 am and I have a pair of broken glasses on the counter, a detached arm in one hand and a tube of superglue in the other. I decided to control the glue by pushing the threaded part of the broken area into the tube. This, I thought, would cut down on the chances of me sticking the wrong things together.
Rather than go through the whole story I will cut to the final frame . . .
The glasses are back together, and the hinge is almost working as I keep moving it to prevent it clogging up. The keyboard is working, though there are some unpleasant smears on it. My jumper will never be quite the same, and will only now be wearable when i have dirty work to do.
And, after a few minutes of careful tugging, I was able to remove my handkerchief whilst leaving my fingerprints in place.
All in all, not my finest moment.
Then it started to snow . . .