Squirrel in MENCAP gardens, Wilford
Today, in a massive senior moment, I made an even greater fool of myself than usual. Walking through to the front room with a plate of mustard mash with spring onions, mashed carrot and parsnip, brussels and haggis, I stumbled on a box we had carelessly left close to where I put my feet.
I had previously remarked on the fact that we needed to take care we put things during the move as I am not that steady on my feet. The stiffening of foot and ankle joints has robbed me of my former agility, and even in my prime nobody, let’s be honest, ever mistook me for a dancer.
Squirrel in a bin – Clitheroe Castle
So there I am, walking past a box with a plateful of squishy food in my hand, poised in mid anecdote. It’s not a picture that reflects credit on either our standards of housekeeping or my culinary efforts. Of course, I caught my foot. I shuffled, overbalanced and fell with all the grace of a giant redwood falling under the assault of a lumberjack. However, that was where the resemblance ended. There is some philosophical talk of whether or not a tree makes noise when nobody is there to hear it. Well, we don’t know about trees, but I can tell you that I make a noise when I fall. It’s a word that shouldn’t be used in polite company and it tails off towards the end. Julia says it was one of the most plaintiff uses of the word she has ever heard, as I slowly toppled . . .
She was also much impressed by my grace as I twisted in mid-air and managed to place the plate on a chair before coming to rest on my elbows, also on the chair, with the plate of food three inches from my face.
Squirrel on bird table (and fly on squirrel)
I’m not sure how many times I have fallen now – but I’m lucky it’s still the sort of thing I can use as material for a post. Give it a few years and it won’t be quite so funny. However, give it a few years and I’ll have an electric mobility scooter and a whole new selection of ludicrous anecdotes of near disasters.
A man of limited attention span with arthritis and an electric mobility scooter, living next to a country park with miles of paths which are on the edges of old gravel pits . . .
What could possibly go wrong?
The header picture is our new squirrel, taken through the vertical blinds of our new kitchen. Not the most technically satisfactory picture, but I was afraid I might scare it if I moved to photograph it. The other pictures are a selection of my other squirrel photos.
Grey Squirrel
I think a small camera that Julia could have strapped to her head – a la miners hat – and we could all enjoy these magic moments.
Generally, home life is very dull. She would still manage to miss the shot. Believe me, she has a skill for it.
Can you make sure that Julia has a camera to hand when you next do this trick. These stories are much funnier if they are illustrated, though you seem to have done wonderfully well to avoid a complete disaster.
I look forward to your squirrel studies if today’s good photograph is anything to go by.
I’m hoping to work up to flying birds, but will start with something bigger that moves more slowly.
If Julia had a camera with her you can be assured that it would be switched off and in her bag. We have missed many shots like that.
A good feeder slows the birds up very handily.
This is the time I will miss Wilkos. I used to buy all my bird feeding equipment from them.
It just shows you can multitask…
Acrobat, waiter and Village idiot . . .:-)
The header picture is very good
Thank you. I am thinking of making a study of squirrels, working on the basis there is little else to photograph at the moment.
That fall speaks of admirable agility. My face would have been mustard flavoured
It was fear of losing my dinner rather than agility. 🙂
Your accounting of your fall with plate of food was amazing! I can picture the fall in slow motion. I hope you do not fall again.
Many years ago I was run into twice on foot at a farmers’ market by the same woman speeding along around the market in a mobility chair. No scooting off of cliffs now, Simon! 🙂
🙂 I must master the controls fully before I go near water. I have been hit in a supermarket by an elderly man who then shot off without apologising. Now I am that man!
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Congratulations on saving your delicious food! When I fall, I tend to yell NOOOOOO, in a rising crescendo till I hit the ground.
My call was similar but less socially acceptable. 🙂
Long may you continue to bounce!