Mill on Rufford Lake

The daytime arrangements for catheters can be slightly tricky, particularly for those of us who are a little taller and a little fatter than others. This is aggravated by the inadequacy of the equipment that is provided. How many ways can you think of fitting a Velcro strap through two slots in a bag? Well, you can fit is so the rubberised side that grips your leg is facing the wrong way. You can fix it so that the two Velcro surfaces don’t match. You can fit it so that the whole thing pings back and it all falls off. And finally you can do it so that the bag is facing the wrong way. I suspect that there are others but that was all I had time for this morning after I inadvertently managed to pull the strap off whilst struggling to fit it.

This is all aggravated by the fact that the tube from catheter to bag is not long enough, despite being labelled “Long” and the straps I am using are actually made by fixing two straps together. Also, last time I had a catheter you could get a clip that stuck to your leg and held the tube in place as it made its way from bladder to bag. It was quite useful in ensuring a good fit, but like all useful bits and pieces it seems to have been discontinued.

Dead tree in Clumber Park

Richard Mabey wrote about a stay in male urology. Clare Pooley put me onto it after my previous exploits in hospital. He  put it all in quite spiritual terms and equated the water of the planet to the water in his body. He’s an award winning author. I’m not. I have, as usual, emerged from my brush with the medical establishment with a list of complaints and several anecdotes that are unsuitable for publication.

The good news is that I had six hours uninterrupted sleep. This due to the “night bag” which is bigger than the “day” or “leg” bag, and fills steadily overnight. This means that you don’t have to get up in the night. I had six and a half hours uninterrupted sleep. It was good.

Cormorants at Clumber

However, there are eight nights until I return to hospital and they have only provided me with six single-use bags. This is typical of the lack of organisation in the NHS and is very annoying. The night bag has a long tube on it and you attach it to the tap on the leg bag before going to sleep. The pipe is long enough for you to place it on the floor by the side of the bed. In hospital they have them on stands, but they can actually make life more complicated. I once tied myself up in the tubing and woke in a dream about being caught in a net.

The house – Arnot Hill Park