I will go through this quickly and in chronological order. However, it all went well.

Rose at 5.55, washed, dressed in clean clothes the sat around. I couldn’t have breakfast and I couldn’t have a drink after 6.30 so I didn’t bother. Water, weak squash or tea/coffee with skimmed milk didn’t seem worth the effort. Would a splash of full fat milk be such a problem. I suspect it is ll par of the campaign against proper milk.

Sat round waiting for the taxi, which arrived early. Got to hospital at 7.10 and sat in the foyer because reception doesn’t open until 7.30.

Between 7.30 and 11.30 I was left waiting about as chaos reigned. They asked me the same questions multiple times, tried to tell me I was having a general anaesthetic, which I wasn’t, made me sign several consent forms and forget to take a test to measure my INR (necessary because of me taking Warfarin). Eventually they remembered and the lb then kept me waiting. Meanwhile another Warfarin taker was similarly forgotten but the lab actually lost his results.

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Because 90% of the staff were brilliant and well organised, I will leave out the 10% that let the side down.

I sat for four hours, hungry, dry, apprehensive and increasingly annoyed by the lack of efficiency. This wasn’t helped when they made me change and I had to leave my books in a locker. So, no reading apart from some magazines and second hand paperbacks. They have taken these out of doctors’ waiting rooms due to concerns over disease transmission.,so I decided not to touch them. I catch enough infections these days without playing Russian Roulette with dog-eared magazines.

Finally, just after 11.30 I was taken through. I’d arranged, after discussion with the anaesthetists, that I was going to have  local anaesthetic rather than a spinal. I assumed that it would still be pain free but the recovery is much easier.

In reality, it wasn’t pain free and I’m not sure if it even worked, but I survived and just over 20 minutes later I was able to get up off the table and walk to the recovery room. If I’d had a spinal they would have been able to cut me in half without me noticing, but I would have been laid in bed for two or three hours as I regained the use of my legs.

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They gave me tea and toast in recovery, adjusted the catheter (though it still isn’t fitting properly) and I was out by 2.00pm. Unfortunately I had left my keys at home, expecting to be picked up by Julia around 5.00pm. Luckily I was able to contact a neighbour with a spare set and was soon sitting in front of the TV with a cup of coffee and a cheese sandwich.

And that is my day. I regretted my decision to have the local anaesthetic several times while I was on the table but as I walked away under my own steam I started to smile so it was the right decision.

I’m back next week to have the catheter removed.

Twenty years ago this was a four or five day stay in hospital and they removed the catheter before you left.

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Six years ago it was a three day job. The first time I left with a catheter, the second, having had to wait three months to get the concluding part of the operation done, they removed it before I left.

This time it was half a day. I have to go back next week to have the catheter out. Much more efficient, but but you have to wonder if the care is as good. Last time I was in several of my fellow patients were admitted to correct problems caused by sending them home too early. It’s nice to be cost effective, and it’s far better to get home instead of being in hospital, but above all, they must save a fortune of feeding us.

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