Day 87

What would you do differently if you had to do it all over again? The problem with that question is that I would have to repeat all my mistakes until it got to 1980, because I have to be in a coffee bar in Preston to meet Julia, and I don’t want to change that.

I would probably have to endure the next nine years too, as if we’d got married earlier it might not have lasted. I can’t be sure, but there’s no point in taking chances.

From 1989 I can start changing things, but by then it might be a little late to suddenly become hard-working, successful and professional.

That is the problem with these going back in time things – changing the good things along with the bad.

Sometimes, when I allow myself to daydream, I am wearing a tweed jacket with elbow patches and looking out of my office window into the quadrangle of an ancient university. On my desk are the proofs of my latest groundbreaking study of civil disorder in the 19th Century (Men in Skirts – the History of the Rebecca Riots or some such popular history).

However, would I be happy? Probably. Would I be prepared to swap my life now for the one of which I dream? Of course I would. I’m not stupid.

I am, however,  a hopeless romantic and wouldn’t change a thing if it meant not being married to Julia. She has a very important place in  my life, like the auriga in Ancient Rome, standing behind me and reminding me that I am mortal. Or, in our case, that I am an idiot and that I shouldn’t really use that sort of language to other drivers. It’s much the same, just updated.

Julia, South Pier, Lowestoft, Suffolk


19 thoughts on “Day 87

  1. tootlepedal

    I quite agree that it is very hard to look back and try just to change the bad things while keeping all the good things (Mrs T in my case). My trouble is that I was such a pillock when I was young that it is hard to see anything turning out better than it did. I have been very lucky.

  2. Lavinia Ross

    Julia is a good woman!

    It is interesting to sometimes think about all the forks in the Road of Life that come up, and how history might have changed had the other fork been taken.

  3. Bridgette

    I’ve gone down that rabbit role of thought from time to time, wondering if I’d taken the college scholarship instead of caring for my grandma…or dated the guy in newspaper class who was weird but made me lightheaded with his wit. I’m happy with my life now, but it’s sometimes fun to image the other versions of myself there could of been.


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