A List, and a Letter I Will Never Send

Next time I write a to-do list towards the end of the evening I am going to include Number Eight – fall asleep and sleep past midnight in my chair, Number Nine, wake up feeling like rigor-mortis has set in and Number Ten – make sandwiches in the early hours of the morning.

If I’d done that I would at least have achieved three of my objectives.

As it was, I didn’t even reach Number One – write sarcastic letter to TESCO. We had a delivery at just after 8.00.Β  It gives us time to relax and cook before bringing the shopping in from the door. There were no brown cobs with this delivery, andΒ  a few other bits and pieces of omission or change that I found a little annoying, but that’s the price (plus Β£4.50 for packing and delivery) that you pay for not jostling with the germ-ridden denizens of our local supermarkets.

The prize for the most bizarre substitution ever, and the reason for my planned outburst of sarcasm.

It was going to be along the lines of –


If you opened your sandwich box in the Executive dining room, looking forward to a lovely cheese cob, only to find a mere heap of cheese and pickle, because your grocery supplier couldn’t be bothered to supply any bread rolls, and had failed to find a suitable substitute, I bet you’d be disappointed, and wonder how people can stay in business if they can’t even supply bread rolls.

If you then reached for your delicious finale – an easy peel citrus (as they call small oranges these days) and bit into a lemon, I imagine you would become quite annoyed.

I am, I confess, more than quite annoyed that you substituted lemons for my order of easy peel citrus. I was tempted to pack one for my wife’s lunch to see what happened, but am, frankly, too frightened.

Remembering last week’s non-delivery debacle, I think I will be going back to ASDA. They are useless, but not quite as useless as you.

I am, yours etc…

Of course, I won’t send it. I never do…


24 thoughts on “A List, and a Letter I Will Never Send

  1. healinghands231

    Can I laugh, please?


    your sarcasm was needed tonight, and it was well received, it made my night.

    I am sorry they annoyed you so much that you had to plan a sarcastic letter that you were never going to send.

      1. healinghands231

        That’s the beauty of thinking of something that would be hard hitting, it takes time, and by the time we are finish – the moment has passed.

        Thank you again for the read, and yes the lemons were a blessing in disguise πŸ™‚

    1. quercuscommunity Post author

      I wa told to stay out of shops by my rheumatology specialist last spring and have, as much as possible, done as I was told. I don’t often do what doctors tell me, but I thought I would this time. πŸ™‚


Leave a Reply