Strangers on a Train

Are you familiar with the plot of Strangers on a Train? It’s been re-used several times by the CSI franchise, so you may know it but not under that name.

It’s a Patricia Highsmith novel, made into a film by Hitchcock and therefore has impeccable pedigree. This is what Wikipedia says about it.

“Architect Guy Haines wants to divorce his unfaithful wife, Miriam, in order to marry the woman he loves, Anne Faulkner. While on a train to see his wife, he meets Charles Anthony Bruno, a psychopathic playboy who proposes an idea to “exchange murders”: Bruno will kill Miriam if Guy kills Bruno’s father; neither of them will have a motive, and the police will have no reason to suspect either of them. Guy does not take Bruno seriously, but Bruno kills Guy’s wife while Guy is away in Mexico.”

This struck a chord with me when reading a comment by Charliecountryboy. In the comment he said: “I got one of those looks last night from Gillian when I wondered out loud.
โ€œHow it was possible to squeeze so many idiots onto one planet?โ€
She suggested it wasnโ€™t a good FB post.”

I get those looks all the time, particularly when discussing my solution to the idiot supply, which seems to be exceeding our real needs for idiots by a considerable margin. I mean, once every village has one and you add 600 for Westminster and 200 to supply the needs of daytime/reality/celebrity TV, why do we need more?

This is a slightly different subject to Charlie’s, which I believe is down to a little known law of Newtonian Physics where, once the concentration of idiots reaches a certain level it forms a barrier around itself (rather like the security cordon round Westminster), achieves critical mass and calls out into space for other idiots…

Sorry, that’s Dr Who, not Isaac Newton. Easy mistake. Dr Who is the time traveller, Isaac Newton invented the cat flap and pushed needles into his eyes in the interests of science.

Anyway, my solution (to Uxorial Censorship rather than the breeding of idiots) would be for us to write posts for each other. I will write Charlie’s post on idiots and he can publish my poem that is so tasteless it wins a modern competition (though that won’t be easy).

That way we can stay married but still maintain access to freedom of speech.

It’s worth thinking about.




14 thoughts on “Strangers on a Train

  1. charliecountryboy

    Sounds like a good plan Iโ€™m very happy posting lovely poetry even when the poet is troubled by premature posting. Although I always thought that was an affliction of younger men.
    I believe the barrier you refer to above is called Hull ๐Ÿ˜‚

  2. tootlepedal

    As an idiot myself, I take exception to any move to curb the number of idiots around. We have our uses. People can laugh at us and cheer themselves up with a feeling of superiority. My beef is with people letting idiots own newspapers or electing them to parliament. Mind you, I once stood as a local councillor….but the voters weren’t idiots then.

    1. quercuscommunity Post author

      It’s not you that I’m worried about, every village is allowed an idiot and I am sure you are locally venerated. It’s when we have a surplus of idiots and they gather in parliaments that I start to think about a cull…


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