The Question of Doom

All married men know the scenario. You are sitting down minding your own business when your wife asks a question and you sense that your life is about to turn to dust…

We were watching aΒ TV programme about people trying to make themselves look ten years younger. They had done the first bit, which is asking people in the street how old they think the subjects are.

At that point Julia turned to me and said “How old would you say I was if you didn’t know?”

Time ground to a halt. The foundations of my life shook. The atmosphere cooled…

Fortunately this wasn’t my first time in a tight spot.

It is always best, I feel, to go in roughly five years low. There are no prizes for accuracy in this area.

However, do not go too low or you will be accused of lying.

(These guidelines only apply where you actually know how old people are, if in doubt go at least ten years younger to be on the safe side.)

And that, dear reader, is how I escaped from a tricky situation and made my wife happy.

(I was, of course, helped considerably by the fact that we met forty years ago and she doesn’t seem a day older to me. She says much the same about me, apart from the fact that that her remarks revolve around me failing to grow up. It’s much the same sort of thing.)



27 thoughts on “The Question of Doom

  1. arlingwoman

    Soooo, I assume things went well? I have no idea anymore what age I look like, but it’s probably pretty close to my age. I don’t think I’d ask anyone what they thought, though.

  2. tootlepedal

    Nice work. Mrs T said to me today that she thought that she looked like a criminal lunatic in a certain photograph. I made the mistake of agreeing with her.

  3. charliecountryboy

    Haha, yes that line, β€˜I need to ask you something,’ or even worse, β€˜I need to talk to you.’ Probably dates back to when our Mum said it and you knew you’d been caught. Obviously you’re an accomplished escapist πŸ˜‚ Well done


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