A New Medical Condition and Some Thoughts on Medical Matters

I have added the new photos to yesterdays post if you want to have a look, though they aren’t that interesting.


Over the last week or so I’ve noticed a new thing happening. My head has become heavier. I’ve been suffering from stiff neck and shoulders recently and have developed a habit of relaxing my neck and letting my head flop. When the time comes to take back control my head seems very heavy.

I’ve never noticed myself having a heavy head before, so it was quite worrying.

I’ve looked up “neck weakness” to see if it’s a sign of anything and I really should have known better. It is a sign of many things, though I have started cutting them down. If the other symptoms include “weight loss” I don’t have that condition.

By a process of elimination, and by crossing any where I don’t like the look of the symptoms, I’ve narrowed it down to having a heavy brain.

This doesn’t appear in the world of internet medicine but logically it’s the only conclusion,

Julia said this sounds like nonsense, but as I have said before, people have mocked many of our great thinkers. Mockery does not mean I am incorrect. And when we experience a no-deal Brexit and can’t get medication, my theories on the use of leeches and blood-letting to cure high blood pressure will come into their own again. It stands to reason that if you take some out the pressure will fall. Just like letting air out of a balloon.

I think what has happened recently is that all my brain training (Scrabble for word abilities, Nine Men’s Morris for spatial awareness and reading more poetry to improve the quality of my plagiarism) have all increased my brain power and it must have got heavier. I will need to do some work in the gym to ensure I am able to hold this new superpower brain in a suitably upright position.

I’m now starting to monitor my reflection for any signs of Mekon-like cranial development. Or Megamind for those of you too young to remember Dan Dare and the Eagle Comic.


26 thoughts on “A New Medical Condition and Some Thoughts on Medical Matters

    1. quercuscommunity

      I just Googled it but couldn’t find anything about slow motion heart attack. Did find silent heart attacks, which seem quite tricky things. Fortunately they keep looking at my heart for various other things and it keeps coming back a healthy. It doesn’t do to take risks with it though so I’ll have a word with my GP. Shouldn’t be too long before i see them again!


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