Warning: Rant Ahead!

I’ve just had a bacon sandwich and caught up on some Derrick J Knight blog posts. I am now drinking tea whilst watching TV. All was well in the world until an article on dog grooming came on.

A woman in yellow nail varnish and dyed blonde hair is holding forth on the subject of pampered dogs.

Children are starving in Africa, being abused in the UK and separated from their parents in the USA. And people are spending £500 a month on dog grooming.

I recognise that I’m often out of step with modern life, and the antithesis of “well-groomed”, but am I alone in thinking that things have gone mad.

Now, I’m not going to suggest that people shouldn’t be able to spend their money how they want (though I’m not allowed to buy a machine gun or a slave, now I come to think about it). However, how about taxing dog groomers and making people buy a license to own an offensively groomed dog?

Time for work now, so I’ll leave it here.

What do you think?

26 thoughts on “Warning: Rant Ahead!

  1. dave pearce

    Your quite right Simon.Now off to the poodle parlour for you

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  2. beatingthebounds

    I’m in favour of very high taxation for all dog owners, on the grounds that I don’t have one. That’s how these things work isn’t it?

    1. quercuscommunity

      It’s a tricky question. Most dogs are quite pleasant, as are most of the owners, so I feel charitably inclined towards dogs in general.

      With regard to your other question, yes, it does seem to be the way these things work. I’d happily tax champagne, caravans and Ugg boots, for instance. It would make me happy and cost me nothing.

  3. Laurie Graves

    You know I have a soft spot for dogs, but 500 a month—a month?—-sounds like way too much money to spend.

      1. Laurie Graves

        Indeed it does. Most dogs would just prefer to be their smelly, lovable selves.

  4. Andrew Petcher

    Groomed or not, at least £1000 a year for a dog licence seems sensible to me. It would pay for picking up after them and replacing street furniture corroded by cocked legs!

      1. Jessica Triepel

        Yes, here’s a proud dog owner! Sorry, but I’m not cool with a dog tax. I didn’t have to pay for a license or tax for my dog in the States, but here in Germany I do, and it’s bs. I clean up after my dog, and I don’t know how anyone manages to spend 500£ a week on dog grooming. I spend about 25-30€ two or three times a year to have my dog groomed, because she’s an Australian Shepherd with long fur. But there are worse things than dogs peeing and pooping in public places, and I think humans do a pretty good job of being the greater nuisance. Graffiti on everything, litter, booze bottles thrown everywhere, smoking in crowded places, like outside cafés where other people are eating/drinking, often with children present, and throwing cigarette butts on the ground. Really, dog poop is the least of my concerns. But I grew up on a farm, where animal poop was just a part of life.

      2. quercuscommunity

        All I said was that I’d be happy to tax excessive grooming. 🙂

        However, in the UK, according to the stats, about 50 kids a year suffer eye damage from toxocara worms. Many cases come from dog faeces.

        As a parent who often had to clean dog mess from sports fields it was quite a concern.

      3. Jessica Triepel

        Well, since everyone who works gets taxed, I guess excessive grooming is already being taxed. Oh and those people probably aren’t the sort to leave their dog’s poop lying around. Funny, I never heard of anyone getting worms in their eyes from dog poo. What are the kids doing with it? 😆 Just kidding. But more seriously, maybe a fine for anyone caught leaving their dog’s mess lying around where it isn’t appropriate. That might deter a few people from not picking it up.

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