The Bits in Between

I’ve often wondered what happens to people in between the bits they write about in their blogs.

I’m assuming, like me, that people only write about the best, most interesting and positive bits of their lives. So today I’m going to write about all the bits in between – the bits that make me appear lazy, small-minded and xenophobic. This might be news to those of you who already see me as lazy, small-minded and xenophobic, but there are, I promise, further depths to explore.

This morning, for instance, whilst eating a piece of toast and marmalade Julia had made me I pondered the question of whether or not she does it on purpose. She knows I’m trying to cut down on carbs and sugar, and that I’m life-threateningly obese. I’m not sure whether she’s merely absent-minded or whether the toast and marmalade is part of a cunning long-term plan to kill me.

That’s why I watch a lot of crime dramas, it’s research for foolproof ways to murder your spouse. I’m not sure why Julia watches them, but I have my suspicions.

There is an alternative, but that involves getting up earlier and making my own breakfast.

While I was eating the potentially fatal dose of calories I watched TV and muttered about European politics. Just before the EU referendum I was broadly in favour of Europe, but since the vote, with all the posturing of the negotiators, I’ve moved to a position where I’m not.

This mirrors the experience of two of my uncles who had trouble getting out of Europe in the summer of 1940.

Anyway, enough of my growing anti-European bigotry.

After dropping Julia off at work I shouted abuse at a couple of drivers and went back to sleep. I woke up and went back to sleep again. And again. Finally, feeling sluggish, and having wasted an entire morning, I got up.

The launderette was deserted. I’ve stopped going early in the morning as it always seems to be crammed with people trying to avoid the rush. The machine was faulty again and I disobeyed the instruction taped to it by changing programmes mid-wash. This seemed to work and it started washing again.

When I went to the supermarket it all went well until it came time to pay. I had my cards out ready to claim my points and pay when the till operator was asked to help with a problem at the till next door. I don’t know about you, but if it had been me I’d have completed my own sale before doing something else.

I smiled through it, despite being late for picking Julia up from work, even when the machine messed up my contactless payment three times. I find that smiling and being pleasant is character forming, and is good practice for dealing with customers in the shop.

This evening, armed with a list of jobs I’d written in the launderette, I made a start on turning my life round with efficiency.

I’ve done one of them, which was to load eight items onto eBay. I prepared them yesterday at work but put them on tonight as Sunday night is supposedly the night where people pay the most.

Sadly, that’s the only one of eleven items that I’ve done. The fault is obviously with the list, rather than me. If I’d listed Go to the chip shop, Watch crap TV and Potter about on the internet I’d have been able to tick four jobs off instead of just one.

Part of my pottering involved looking at the site 32 Inspirational Sunday Quotes, but by the time I’d reached Number 19 the forced jollity was inspiring me to kick a puppy. This was probably not what they were meaning to do.

With that thought, I will leave you.


21 thoughts on “The Bits in Between

  1. beatingthebounds

    Brilliant. If only I had the skill to make the bits inbetween the bits I do blog about so witty, entertaining and thought provoking. My wife very rarely makes me breakfast, but I find that simply having the carbs in the house makes avoiding them tricky. Then again, their presence in supermarkets is also problematic. I discovered today that the term ‘morbidly obese’ seems to have been replaced with ‘very obese’. I don’t think that makes it any less likely that I will die prematurely, but I’m still pleased to have been rebranded. The Brexit thing is like trying to answer awkward questions like ‘Which dictator is your favourite 20th century mass-murderer?’. None of the contenders are attractive and there’s no answer you can give which won’t lose you friends and get you in to rows. I found myself trying to decide which was the least bad option. On Brexit that is. Still worrying about the other one.

    1. quercuscommunity

      Enver Hoxha. I don’t like his attitude towards beards but he was sound on many other things. Unfortunately, as you point out, this view is likely to get me into trouble.

      Carbs are tricky – they always seem to taste so nice.

  2. higgledypiggledymom

    In between? Well, there’s the day to day life, there’s the thoughts I should write but then have to up load photos but don’t ’cause the cord and phone are upstairs away from computer, there’s stuff that’s too boring beyond a one sentence blog and then there’s the just plain lazy. How’s that for the in between bits?

  3. Laurie Graves

    I’ll tell you what kind of exciting day we had yesterday. We—wait for it!—raked up all the hay in the backyard because the mud has gone away. If that doesn’t qualify as a joy, joy, happy, happy, then nothing does. 😉 Life is made of small moments.

  4. derrickjknight

    It’s no good – this is not going to spur me into featuring the bits in between. If you can’t succeed in painting yourself in a bad light I don’t think I’ll bother. Have you thought how many calories you’d burn if you got up and made your own breakfast?

    1. quercuscommunity

      If I was making my own breakfast it wouldn’t be a bit of toast so I’d have more calories to burn. Sort of Catch 22 – death by carbs or slow suicide by calories.

  5. The Belmont Rooster

    I always enjoy your posts. I think probably your wife, out of habit, makes your toast with marmalade. Ummm… Maybe because she loves you and knows you can’t resist. I agree the till operator should have finished with you before helping the other attedant. I used to read a few quotes as i think we have all been in that phase. What I have found helpful is listening to positive affirmations or mantras on YouTube while I am working on the computer. I do NOT listen to the news because a lot of it is not true or negative (or both). The less we know about the givernment the better we feel. Life goes on whether we know what they are doing or not. As far as eating goes, I get up late, anywhere from 10-11 AM, drink a little coffee and don’t eat until dinner. Sometimes I snack a little after that, but that’s it. I watched a video on YouTube about eating one meal a day, it’s some kind of a fast, which is actually healthy. You only eat one large meal a day, and God knows, my one meal is usually enough for two… Unless you are a diabetic, one meal a day is suffecient. Unless, of course, someone else is buying or preparing your meals. Then, out of courtesy, we feel we need to eat. Stay positive my friend, smile at everyone and most people will smile back. Please don’t kick a puppy, because puppies grow up to be dogs and they will remember you. Just remember you are amazing even if you don’t feel like it sometimes.

    1. quercuscommunity

      Thank you. I stopped listening to the news 18 months ago and feel better for it. I’ll try the YouTube mantras, though I’m not sure I could manage on just one meal a day.

  6. arlingwoman

    Probablyly most of us have days like this. Well, I don’t suspect my spouse of trying to kill me, but, yes, I do sometimes spend too much time on the internet and not do my task lists. I find when I need a good laugh, Wavy the crocodile videos help. I used to watch Billy Connolly, but he’s not posting much new stuff, so Wavy it is. Today I cleaned and gardened, though, so haven’t been trolling the internet.


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