Stop All The Clocks (Part 3)

Sorry, it’s been a while since Part 1 and Part 2, which covered making my own funeral arrangements. I had meant to keep them closer together but, as you know, I’ve not been very industrious lately.

The funeral is going to be non-religious, cheap and hot, with a cardboard coffin and informal dispersal of the remains. Let “economic dignity” be the theme.

That leaves the catering and the music.

The music is a problem, as I’m very limited in my musical taste, and a lot of it has been done before. On top of that is the problem that the music isn’t really for my amusement and going through the curtains to The Crazy World of Arthur Brown may not meet with Julia’s approval. In fact I know it doesn’t as we’ve discussed it before.

Being serious for a moment, my funeral isn’t really about me. Yes, I’ve no doubt that they will talk about me, share a few memories and, if honest, agree that I did have a few imperfections. Really, though, it’s for the people who are left behind, and planning all the details seems a bit presumptuous. After all, I’m not the one who is going to have to sit through it all.

There’s a site with some favourite songs but most of them are either a bit over-used or too sad for funerals or, let’s be honest, rubbish. I’m not going to set myself up as a music critic, but I will be leaving a list of songs not to play at my funeral.

I quite like Banks of Green Willow, though I also like the theme from The Outlaw Josie Wales. Not saying anyone should play them, but there are worse songs to go out to. When the Angels Sing sounds like it should be suitable, but despite my love of the track it doesn’t really fit with my dull suburban life.

One of the things I’ve been meaning to do is write some better funeral poetry as most of it is fairly dreary. We read one of my father-in-law’s poems at his funeral – a short light verse about senior moments and that was good. One of my cousins had one of his own poems at his funeral, which was a bit more serious, but still better than anything you find by Googling funeral poems, apart from Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night.

Anything that talks about meeting later or, even worse, being in another room, is definitely out. So is anything claiming I am like wind beneath your wings, or anything else. The word wind, when linked to me, does not, I confess, lead to thoughts on a higher plane. It’s meant to be a dignified occasion and I don’t want any sniggering during the eulogy.

That’s enough for now, we’ll have to cover catering in another installment as I get nervous when a post gets close to 500 words. I’m a blogger, not a novelist.




24 thoughts on “Stop All The Clocks (Part 3)

  1. Pingback: Resisting the Temptation to Rant | quercuscommunity

  2. beatingthebounds

    Oh dear – you’ve set my mind into a mischievous chain of thought – The Crazy World of Arthur Brown, London’s Burning, Babylon’s Burning, Fire by the Ohio Players, Ring of Fire, maybe Jesus Built My Hotrod. The Josey Wales music would be splendid. I didn’t know ‘Banks of Green Willow’, thanks for that.
    If you’re going to have ‘Lip Up Fatty’ (and why not?), perhaps you could balance it out with one of Willie Dixon’s songs for Howling Wolf: ‘300 Pounds of Heavenly Joy’ or ‘Built for Comfort’?

    1. quercuscommunity

      I’ll have to look some of them up, though after the telling off I had from Julia yesterday she isn’t pleased about me discussing my own funeral. She thinks it’s wrong. 🙂 Now, 300 lbs divided by 14…

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  4. higgledypiggledymom

    It seems more that funerals are a lighter affair, a celebration of life. I quite like that aspect. Told the man what I’d like, we’ll see how that goes. Wait! I guess I won’t after all. =)

  5. Lavinia Ross

    I have finally caught up with you again, and am pleased you are still waking up on the right side of the ground in spite of your preparations for the day you are no longer with us all. For music, may I suggest for you “The Highwayman”, as performed by the group, The Highwaymen. 🙂

  6. derrickjknight

    You are so right about funerals being for the living. I couldn’t agree more. However, when a recording of my niece singing “Amazing Grace” was played at my brother’s funeral, it was mid-blowing. She has a beautiful mezzo voice and I didn’t know she could sing. She was too shy to do it in public and played it to her Dad just before he died.


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