Julia is out tonight. It was something she organised a month ago and I made her go even though she’s worried about leaving me alone.
Her worries are that I may fall over or starve to death. Starve? That set alarm bells ringing. How long is she planning on being away? Only for the evening, it seems. I can’t see that being a problem as I have enough stored fat to last a while. Look at the self-portrait if you don’t believe me. I have what estate agents refer to as an “extensive frontage”.
As for falling over, I have a mobility aid (or stick, as they used to be known) and enough padding not to damage too easily.
However, this isn’t to say that she has nothing to worry about. I may be safe, but it’s not the same as being sensible. Armed with several litres of what Bob Flowerdew calls personal liquid waste I have made a start on reclaiming the garden. We’ve been having trouble with dogs fouling a spot in the corner of the front garden and I’ve decided to fight back. We had an urban fox problem at one time, and did successfully move them on using urine (applied via watering can, in case you are wondering). Direct application isn’t really an option for a front garden in a suburban street.
I’m thinking of this as a kind way of moving them on. Stage 2, if this doesn’t work, is to use a solution of chillis. If I have to escalate to stage 3 I may have to abandon organic solutions and opt for Jeyes Fluid.
I will say no more, as I don’t want this to be used in evidence against me.
While she was out I went shopping for tea, which was Heinz Tomato Soup with a cheese and spiced shallot sandwich. It’s not the last word in healthy eating, but Heinz Tomato Soup is almost a medicine so I think I’m OK, particularly as I had an orange, a banana and a chocolate rabbit afterwards. The rabbit was half price – so it’s a vegetable and it’s a bargain.
Direct application in a front garden in Suburbia is not advisable in any kind of weather or lighting conditions. 🙂
🙂
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I am surprised that you were left to your devices. Especially as your devices seem somewhat curious judging by this post.
She doesn’t like doing it, but she can’t afford security. 🙂
Spiced shallot appeals
Sainsburys do a good version – both hot and economical. Too hot to eat without the sandwich in fact – I found that out by injudicious snacking! 🙂
Of course chocolate is a vegetable! It comes from a plant, doesn’t it 😉
That’s my view, but it seems it’s open to debate. 🙂
😉
I put the half-price bunny in the meat bracket! So, I see you haven’t starved to death – good work!
Drat! I’m trying to cut down on meat.
I won’t tell anybody!
🙂
Good luck with the applications. I’ve heard that works. The hot pepper water works, too, but needs to be applied frequently. Chocolate bunnies are not vegetables unless they’re holding carrots.
Chocolate not a vegetable? Has the world gone mad? 🙂
Maybe it’s a fruit. But you need the icing carrot…
I will ensure future rabbits have the appropriate carrots in future. 🙂