Monthly Archives: February 2016

Silly Sunday 2

Number 1 son offered to make lunch, and without thinking I said “Yes please.”

He’s in his 20s, he’s been away for 3 years, he hasn’t starved to death, it was beans on toast. What could possibly go wrong?

Well, first of all, he decided to add scrambled eggs. Second, without telling me what he was doing, he left the eggs on the stove and went to do something else. The first I knew about it was when the smoke started to catch in my throat.

Strange I thought, burning food doesn’t usually – then I was grasped by another coughing fit.

Our traditional egg dish for breakfast and brunch type meals can best be described as  a form of scrambled eggs in which the eggs are bashed about a bit and things like vegetables and bacon are mixed in.

In this case he added onion and chilli. I may have mentioned last week that he is a in a chilli phase. Much the same as I am in  a milk drinking phase.

When you burn chilli it appears to produce a throat grasping acrid smoke that makes your eyes water.

The thing about child rearing is that you have to encourage them, even when it means eating burnt eggs with too much chilli in them.

The erst of the day, quite frankly, was an anticlimax after that, so that’s where I’ll end – a smoky kitchen, tears in my eyes, a rasp in my throat and a deep-seated desire to see him finish his Masters, get a job and bugger off before he destroys my kitchen or my taste buds.

 

 

 

 

 

Silly Sunday Part 1

It started well enough, with our normal five am start (the opposite of the Sunday lie-in routine followed by many). Croissants for breakfast with apricot jam – all bought in, I’m ashamed to say. Well, ashamed about the jam; life is too short to make croissants from scratch.

Off to work,and we had our normal drive through town, marvelling at what young people consider appropriate apparel for 5.45 am with the temperature around 4 degrees C. Makes you glad to be old and warm. I used to think that I burned the candle at both ends but I wouldn’t have been able to keep up with this lot.

Return home at 6.15 am and face the eternal quandary of how to fill the gap until the laundrette opens at 7.30. Sleep? Second breakfast? Some computer work?

I ate the last two slices of the honey and oat loaf with peanut butter as I decided against having a second breakfast, and read my emails and checked the blog as I decided against working on the computer. Suddenly it was 7.30 and I needed to be off to be off to do the washing. Well, no harm in a little nap first…

You can guess how that went, I presume. I’m told that the optimal time for a nap is 40 minutes, because you wake instantly and feel alert. Two hours isn’t so good. I still don’t recall reaching across to switch off the alarm. Fortunately my bladder and the hoover fetishist next door refused to let me sleep longer.

Ten o’clock by the time I’d gathered the washing, the detergent, a book, a banana and some change. That’s quite a busy time down at the laundrette, so I decided to blog and have that second breakfast after all. I’ll wash later.

Cornflakes. They’re healthy. I had a glass of milk, poured  a helping of cornflakes and looked for the new milk carton.

The code of silence observed by my family when using the last toilet roll or last of the milk, is the envy of secret societies the world over. In comparison to Number 1 son the Mafia appear to be chatterboxes and the Freemasons seem prone to gossip. As a bonus, they don’t eat my cheese.

At least it reminded me of the health-giving benefits of green tea.

So, healthy, hungry and determined to stay upbeat, I reach the end of the first part of my day.

It’s not easy being cheerful…

…particularly as Number 1 son has offered to cook lunch.

 

 

 

Serious Saturday

I am now paying for my day of idleness yesterday, and have various documents spread out on computer and desk as I plan for the coming year.

Julia secured two bookings yesterday, with a group of young(ish) cancer survivors visiting for days of lifestyle skills – cookery, looking after animals and financial management. It’s a strange mix but when you have a farm with a demo kitchen things tend to revolve round food and animals. Now that Julia is chair of a community accounting group we also have access to financial training.

So I’m planning lessons and putting together the strategic plans I should have done in November. They are taking time because I’m using the format we used when we did the Clubmark plans for Nottingham Outlaws.

I’m not using a bit of A4 and a list of things to do, I’m listing the current situation, the desired result, who is doing it and when they are doing it. It’s all getting a bit serious, but we’re getting bigger and the old approach needs updating.

Sorry to be so earnest, but there’s something sobering about a pile of papers with times, names and dates on them.

Normal service will be resumed as soon as possible as they used to say on TV when I was a lad. I’ll try to compose “Silly Sunday”.

Meanwhile, in the Six Nations, Italy is leading France 18-10 in what sounds like an entertaining game. I bet I’d be even more serious if I supported France.

 

 

 

 

A suitable place for the 2.30 joke

I should be bubbling over with things to write, and I have, in fact, written enough to fill at least two posts, but none of it felt right.

After sleeping for a good six hours I awoke this morning  feeling refreshed and determined to do things. Top of the list was to ring the dentist.

I did this and they agreed to an emergency appointment at lunchtime, thus spoiling my chances of the 2.30 joke. If you don’t know it look at the bottom of the post. That was unusual as dental surgery receptionists tend to define “emergency” in a different way to the rest of us. Having spent the previous six weeks with a detached crown on the right side, I had given my left side molars a good workout. One of them, the one at the back that has been a problem for about 30 years, had finally given up under the workload and crumbled.

As the dentist had previously told me he wanted to take that one out, I wasn’t keen on going back. Apart from an impacted wisdom tooth I haven’t had an adult tooth out and it’s the thin end of the wedge, leading to the sixth age of man (the lean and slippered pantaloon) before I slide into the state  of being – “sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything.” Especially sans teeth, as I’m resigned to reading glasses and the rest is still a way off. I hope.

Now, rather than slip into a gloomy reflection on mortality (as in the first draft) or a distasteful discussion on the state of my dental health (second draft), or even a polemic on mercenary dentists (both drafts!), I am merely going to say that this visit was a pleasure.

Twenty minutes after starting the treatment, without any pressure to spend money or have extra work done, I was out on the street again with a freshly glued crown, a patched up tooth (no mention of extraction from this dentist!), a bill for just £18 and a feeling that all was right with the world.

There was a snag, as I couldn’t eat for two hours as the glue and filling set, so I had to watch Julia eating lunch (more of the honey and oatmeal loaf) as my stomach rumbled plaintively.

I have also arranged for my annual hypertension appointment instead of trying to dodge it. Nothing useful ever comes out of it. It always seems to a be a different nurse and the same conversation – basically “you’re too fat”. Now, I’m not medically trained, but I had noticed that myself. Still, they seem to worry if I don’t get tested every year.

Finally, after a visit to Wilko’s, where they are selling off bird feeders for £7.50 each, I went home to work on my list of other things I need to do. I bought two of the feeders and still saved £4 compared to the price of one in a garden centre.

I was so industrious that I even missed Pointless.

This is a picture from Wednesday, as I don’t have any from today – for an idea of the wind speed just look at the tail feathers.

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2.30 joke? Tooth Hurty. It’s a very old joke. I may be the last person alive that finds it amusing.

 

Oat and Honey Bread

We had four for bread, and after I spent last night preparing dough for an overnight rise, I was pleased to see it well risen. That was when the members of the class told me that last time they’d made it they had started it from scratch. The best laid plans…as they say.

 

After that things went to plan, apart from me misreading the recipe and trying to bake an hour too early.

We had TESCO biscuits (from the ordinary range this time, though more of them) and a lot of tea. Two of the group have just returned from India and described a place of cheap food, fantastic sights and long distances. Well, they actually described a lot more, but those were the things I found interesting.

Sounds like everyone has had a great time.

Meanwhile, I hear you shout, what about the bread?

Well, it emerged from the oven in various well-browned forms, though I wasn’t convinced it was properly cooked. It’s the browning effect of the honey that does that. I would describe it as a hearty bread, exhibiting, as my bread often does, the big bubbles that denote a lack of knocking back and the dense lower layer that indicates a lack of kneading. It’s still good to eat though. Bearing in mind that I cut it too early so that I could get the photograph, it is really quite good. It’s a little heavy if you want to be picky, but it is full of oats, honey, milk and oil so it’s not going to be fluffy like a cloud is it?

Taste is good, with the salt balancing the honey whilst still allowing a little sweetness to come through.

It was very good with my lunchtime Stilton.

In terms of rising one of the loaves started from scratch rose the best with an overnight one coming second and the others (one of each method) looked pretty similar. The fifth lot was taken home as dough due to  alack of time. It seems to be the kneading rather than the preparation method that determined the rise. The mix temperature of the overnight loaves never rose beyond 15 degrees, whilst the ones baked from scratch did get up to 23 -24 due to the use of lukewarm water, just short of the recommended 25 degrees. I could have made this higher when I mixed them last night but I thought I’d use cold water to mix as they had a long rise in front of them.

I suspect the overnight loaves have probably developed more flavour, but don’t have away to check this – should have thought to cook one from scratch this morning.

The recipe is now in the Recipe section (that’s under the Resources tab).

 

Bread, baking and bad behaviour

Third post of the day, though I use the term loosely. I started it while I was allowing 5 kilos of dough to relax. I then went on to finish the kneading, went home, fell asleep in front of the TV, had a meal produced my Number 1 son (who is still in a chilli phase), drank milk, did a few jobs and sat down to complete the blog. Of course, it now needs re-writing.

Thursday is bread day, as you may have guessed from the fact I was preparing dough. We only have four people coming because Gail is still away. She has trained under Andrew Whitley and at Ballymaloe: I taught myself from a book. Even the promise of a cute puppy hasn’t tempted many in.

It’s bread with oats and honey tomorrow. I’m not exactly sure what to call it as it is mainly white flour, with wholemeal, oats and honey. It’s not an easy bread to knead (I did it by hand because I’m too lazy to clean the machine), you can’t get a good windowpane test and it’s deceptive in cooking, as the honey makes it look brown before it’s really cooked enough. Apart from that, it’s a useful loaf to make as it keeps well and lends itself to overnight preparation.

It’s originally a Jeffrey Hamelman recipe but I’ve lent my book to somebody so I can’t consult it for full details.

The group worked hard this afternoon, preparing raised beds, making lion masks for Chinese New Year and playing with the new puppy, though they continue to be more argumentative than they used to be. We’re still not sure why this should be, as they are making progress in other ways.

I had been worrying that this may be due to us passing our stress on to them (we are, as usual, juggling finance and dealing with various random obstacles) and have been trying to stay positive and cheerful at all times when they are about – even though cheerful and positive aren’t my normal settings.

Listening to them, it seems that several of the are experiencing problems in other groups too, so I’m thinking it may be the time of year or just a coincidence. I’m hoping it may pass as Spring approaches. If it doesn’t, we will have to put some thought into it, and again, thinking isn’t my normal setting either.

 

 

 

 

 

Guinea Fowl Rescue

My grandfather kept poultry, my earliest memories are of my father working for Thornbers Hatchery around 1959-61 (he had a red Austin A35 van) and when I started work, after years of working round poultry in school holidays, I went to work on a poultry breeding farm under a man who had been on the staff of Wye College in the 1930s.

What I’m getting round to telling you is that I have an “old school” approach to keeping animals.

When we were collecting eggs this morning one of the group noticed that we had a guinea fowl with a foot problem. A big ball of much had gathered under one of its feet and was causing a limp. Normally these gather on the toes. It’s caused by walking around on wet surfaces and when you let the birds wander, like out guinea fowl (which are as hard as peacocks to keep from wandering), it will happen.

As I say, normally these balls of muck gather on the toes. They are made up of mud, straw wood shavings and what I will refer to as “other substances”.

The old school cure is to hit them with a hammer or (because this is a farm and we never use tools properly) a big spanner. If the ball is held against a hard surface and tapped with repeated gentle knocks, the ball will usually crumble away. It sounds a bit drastic but the bird is normally happy to watch and shows no signs of distress. Compared to pulling, cutting or soaking, it is quick, efficient and pain free. It just sounds drastic.

The cause of the problem for the guinea fowl today was that it had gathered a piece of binder twine around its middle toe and the trailing end had allowed the ball to form, so after breaking up the ball we had to cut the twine and unwind it.

This had cut into the toe and looked quite sore.

Unfortunately you can’t completely guard against bits of binder twine, but you do need to remain vigilant when keeping poultry.

As I’ve said before – never a dull moment!

 

 

 

 

Calm before the storm

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I was just going to write a post remarking how quiet it was with the main taxi being late and four of the group not being here. We were actually able to hold a conversation at normal levels. It was so nice we didn’t bother to ring and find out where they were. (They would have texted if there was a problem – we know this from past experience).

However, at 10.27 the storm arrived.

Seven minutes later we have several shouted conversations in progress, the kettle going (there’s always a silver lining!), a serious case of hypochondria and a discussion on twin lamb disease, or Pregnancy Toxaemia if you want to be technical. That led on to a look at ketones, and the realisation that Twin Lamb disease is just like diabetes.

Life is never dull round here!

More later – just thought I’d get the day started.

 

Cute animals produce results

I just had notifications from the Thursday Bread Group telling me three people are coming, two of them because they want to see the puppy. It seems that wit, charm, erudition and the ability to cook a honey, oat and wholemeal loaf aren’t enough – you need a cute puppy. This was a lesson driven home by the spike in my activity stats on the blog yesterday (45 hourly views compared to my average of 0).

Before that it was the lambs.

So that’s it, the way to blogging success is to have pictures of cute animals. Forget all that work you put in to quality of writing, or free gifts or cunning headlines – just take pictures of cute animals.

Not that I’m bitter – I’ve  a farm full of sheep, goats and poultry so I’m well ahead of the game.

I’m going to go against the trend with some travel photos instead. Not mine, but some from the bread group tour of India. Looks like they ate well.

A day of sound and fury

Life’s but a walking shadow, a poor player,
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
And then is heard no more. It is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.
Macbeth – William Shakespeare

 

We arrived today to find that we now have a sheep dog on the farm. Well, in theory at least. What we actually have is a nine-week-old Border Collie pup, which might turn out to be a sheepdog. It’s doing well so far, showing clear signs of intelligence and an inbuilt need to round people up. However, she’s being treated like a pet by members of the group, and I hope it doesn’t spoil her as a working dog.

It was clear that neither the proud owner, or the group, are interested in the nitty-gritty of dog ownership as they all ignored the inconvenient puddle she left on the floor after her visit. Isn’t that always the way?

Outside, Storm Henry is giving us some stick. It sound like a raging storm, though the weather station has shown a maximum of 60 kph (40 mph) and is currently showing just 35 kph despite the noise.

The polytunnel covering isn’t doing too well, and we can’t get the clips back on in this wind. We’ve weighted it down as much as we can and are now crossing our fingers. We can’t complain as we’ve used this cover for four years and we haven’t maintained it as much as we should have done.

It did better than the outdoor chicken coop, as you can see in the photos.

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A result of Storm Henry

Sixteen eggs today, so production is looking up. I suspect it may be down in a day or two due to wind and temperature, but that’s what happens when you produce your own.

In preparation for the birdwatch next week we’ve been reading bird books and making birds to hang on the “tree”.

No more lambs at the moment, though we did have the main flock scanned last week. 195 ewes in lamb, including 120 with twins and 33 with triplets. Sounds good, but in the words of the old song there may be trouble ahead. The trouble with sheep is that they can only feed two lambs, so triplets are a mixed blessing. That is one of the reasons I prefer pigs. sausages and bacon being the others…