Tag Archives: Scrooge

Christmas Stamps

Christmas is Coming!

Julia has been busy today and as I write we have a Christmas cake cooling on a rack. Christmas? Yes, it’s coming soon, and there’s nothing we can do to stop it. I’d love to live in eternal summer, particularly since my joints would prefer it, but even if I had to have winter I wouldn’t mind missing Christmas out of the calendar.  It would be a bit of an adjustment for Christians, who would suddenly have a hole in the liturgical year, and retailers would complain, but for the rest of us it wouldn’t be a great problem.

Pom-pom Christmas Wreath

Much of Christmas is about the movement of calories and clutter round the world. To be fair, we all like presents and chocolate, but do we really need them?

It would be much easier to run a business without Christmas (apart from a business that relies on the annual orgy of over-buying), particularly when you look at the yearly tangle of Bank Holidays. I won’t go through it all, because it’s dull and I’m not sure if I remember it all correctly, but the main feature is that if you are running a poultry farm you need staff in every day. Unless it’s turkeys. Turkey farms can be quite quiet over Christmas. If Christmas day falls on a Saturday or a Sunday nobody wants to work and the pay rate is only normal weekend rate. The Bank Holiday, in that case, is on Monday and people are all very happy to work Monday for triple time. I used to hate that.

Robin

So, there we go. Christmas cake is baked and Scrooge is beginning to emerge from his summer hibernation . . .

Simon Wilson, Nottingham Poet

Dickens, Deafness, Disappointment

I am sitting in the back room wearing a woolly hat, several layers of fleece and a pair of fingerless gloves which my sister knitted for me. The general effect, in my mind, is the same as the one achieved by Alistair Sim in A Christmas Carol.  However, I can’t find a picture which fully backs this up. Over Christmas, when I will be spending all day (all week if I can get away with it) in a nightshirt and dressing gown I will, from what I see, look more like it.

Victorian Miser Chic is likely to become my winter default look in years to come, as layers of fleece and flannelette replace profligate spending on heating. Keep looking, you may even see me depicted in various life-style magazines as a trailblazer in the New Scrooge Movement (Bah, sugar-free humbug!)

The way things are going I may well be employing an ear trumpet too. I knew I was going deaf when I found myself saying, “Stop mumbling and open your mouth. Nobody speaks properly these days!” This is a direct quote from my Dad. He started off being deaf in one ear, something he didn’t even realise until he treated himself to a stereo record deck and headphones.  No, it’s not retro, it was all we had before tapes and CDs. He took the headphones back to the shop because one side didn’t work and after a little checking the shop deduced he only had one working ear.

I, at least, am going deaf in both ears equally, which is easier from a practical point of view. I have to turn the TV up louder than Julia and I complain to both her and one of my workmates about their habit of muttering to themselves. It’s very irritating for someone who is hard of hearing tom have to work with people who talk to themselves, as you feel you may be impolitely ignoring them. On the other hand, it does allow me to ignore them without feeling rude, so it has its good points too.

And that, as far as it goes, is my Sunday morning.

This is the Ambition phase. It will soon be the Breakfast phase and that will rapidly transition to Sloth, then Disappointment. Sundays are, in so many ways, a microcosm of my life.

The header photo portrays me in my glasses and beard phase. I may try a Victorian Miser Chic shot over the holiday.

Christmas Clerihews

I’ve decided to branch out from politics, as it’s Christmas. Even I get infected with jollity (if only briefly) at this time of year and as jollity and politics don’t really mix I decided to go Christmassy for the clerihews.

It’s only the subject that has changed though, the quality is still as dodgy as ever.

Those of you who aren’t from the UK may need to consult this link to try and make some sense out of the last one. Not that there is much sense in any of them at the best of times.

 

Father Christmas

loves sherry and citrus,

though he’s lately been thinking

of cutting out drinking.

 

Rudolph and Donner and Blitzen and Dancer,

Cupid and Vixen and Comet and Prancer

are all quaffing claret

after giving up carrots.

 

In the panto, Ebeneezer Scrooge

overdid the rouge

and ended up quite cranky,

made up as a manky Twanky.

 

Happy Christmas to everyone, though I have to ask if you should be doing more important things than reading a blog. 🙂