250 words. Not much time. A head full of gibberish.
Somehow the sight of an empty page scares all my words and good intentions away . . .
At the doctor this morning I looked out of the window (the waiting room looks into an internal quadrangle of raised beds and weeds) and watched a single strand of spider silk thrumming in the wind. By the time I go home I had forgotten all about it. However, it has just returned.
Just before going to the doctor the door bell rang. It was a representative from a local builder, energised by sunshine and the desire to fill his wallet at my expense.
Julia listened to him, because she does. He has a job to do, so it’s only fair to listen. However, he kept going and she had to step in and ask him to stop as we were about to go out. She asked him three more times and he kept going on. She even gave him her phone number because she is too nice to cold callers. He kept going and trying to organise a call, either in five minutes, or later in the day.
To be fair, you have to be persistent when you are selling, and I couldn’t fault him from that point of view. However, I didn’t want to be late for the appointment at the doctor.
I went to the door. He started to tell me he would like to clear the moss off our roof.
“Why?” I asked.
He said that some people didn’t like the look of it.
“Well I don’t mind it and my wife has already told you we need to go out so please stop and go away.”
It is important here to repeat that I said “go away”. I did not use a very tempting alternative, I was calm and restrained.
“Well,” he said, in the manner of a Victorian matron, pouting and gathering his skirts around him, “there’s no need to be rude.”
I pointed out that I wasn’t being rude, just telling him to go away because we had to get ready to go out and he’d ignored Julia’s previous attempts to ask him to leave.
I find there’s a lot of this about these days – people seem to think that you should listen to them and do what they want just because they keep on talking. It seems to be a common doorstep technique these days. It’s the technique used by a conman – keep talking and hope that people will be too polite to say no.
Sometimes you have to stop them. Sometimes you have to say no. I have also been known to ask people “What’s it got to do with you?” when they ask personal questions.
Yes, it’s “conversation” to some people, but some just ask too much. I lack the linguistic skills to fend them off, and if a couple of attempted evasions don’t work, I just ask. They soon get the idea.
However, I don’t see it as being rude. If it’s acceptable for a man to knock on my door without being invited, or for someone I don’t know to ask personal questions, surely it’s acceptable for me, after several ineffectual attempts to put a stop to it, to be blunt.
Everybody then knows where the line has been drawn.
I didn’t swear, I didn’t make any personal remarks, I just asked him to stop and told him to go away.
I’m not going to ask whether you think I’m right or wrong, but I am going to ask if anyone has a better way of dealing with it.
It’s a kestrel on his shoulder.
I am sorry you and Julia found yourselves in that position. We live in interesting times.
We do indeed!
A tricky situation. If as you say it happens a lot I think a no cold callers notice would be a very good idea. We lost a friend who wouldn’t stop talking when we told him we had to go to a funeral and who then got very offended when we actually threw him out so there is no easy answer.
That is a terrible situation to be in. At least with a stranger it doesn’t matter if they end up offended.
It was quite shocking and a total surprise to us.
It is difficult to understand, not the sort of thing you really ever think about.
I would have done the same as you. Actually, I wouldn’t have talked to the man in the first place. But I’m a New Yorker , so….
🙂 I imagine that the life of a door to door salesman would be quite tough in New York.
We have people on the street that try to get us to donate to charities ….
Referred to here as “chuggers” (Charity Muggers). Probably in NY too. 🙂
I love that and I’m using it
🙂
Pingback: A Jumble of Gibberish | quercuscommunity
Julia is too nice; you are too polite – I do hope he doesn’t spread the word
Julia is definitely too nice. Me? I can, I admit, be a little borderline. I’m thinking of getting a sign that says “No Cold Callers” then I will have an excuse for being rude if they knock.
We already had such a sign pasted on the wall when we first arrived. It didn’t make any difference
I had a feeling it might not. They are very persistent.
That kind of situation is always uncomfortable because that’s how it’s set up. They depend on your discomfort at telling them to buzz off. So few people come to the door these days, and of course, you don’t have to open it to them. We get LDS missionaries every year. My neighbor just says “I’m a secular humanist,” and it gets rid of them pretty fast, once their heads stop spinning. It sounds as though you did what was needed. No need to feel guilty in any way about being rude. There’s a thing called DARVO, which is what he was doing: defending himself, attacking you, and then tryning to claim victimhood, when he was victimizing you. It’s a common tactic of people who’ve been wrong footed.
I had never heard of DARVO before, though I am familiar with the tactics. Interesting, though sad, reading.
The doorstep tactics often seem to be close to bullying. Julia is normally able to cope but yesterday we needed to get ready for a trip to he doctor and he had been told multiple times.
This was an interesting article. https://web.archive.org/web/20220603005729/https://www.theguardian.com/law/2022/jun/02/johnny-depp-amber-heard-libel-outcomes-differ-us-uk
Interesting article. I remember that trial and also that she had won in the UK. Not sure how misogynistic the UK is, but the US has it broad and deep, especially if the woman seems privileged. That may have had some bearing on a jury outcome. Cool Guardian used the term as well. Most recently I’ve been hearing it in terms of the current administration, in particular Pam Bondi’s testimony before Congress.
We have had three female Prime Ministers and we have allowed women to make their own decisions regarding pregnancy since he 1960s. None of this is conclusive, but does tend to suggest we may be a little less misogynistic than the USA. However, I would need to check with Trump, Vance and Hegseth before saying too much as they seem to know more about the UK than I do from what they say in the papers.
Yeah. Well. The Hegseth press conference could have been an SNL skit. And Trump seems to be brainstorming his reasons for starting WWIII. So I wouldn’t worry what they think of the UK. ‘Cause they don’t know.
I had to look twice the other day when reading an Israeli newspaper as I thought I was reading a comic parody. I vote Green these days and was looking for news of the recent by-election. It seems I am a follower of a hard-left antisemitic party. I hadn’t realised such a small party was worthy of notice. Despite calling us antisemitic they also noted that the party leader is Jewish. This left me confused.
Like you, I always try to be kind, but when enough is enough, anything goes. I wouldn’t mind telling the talker that, having ignored many requests for them to stop, THEY are being rude by not respecting your wishes. Whatever! Don’t let ANYONE compromise your serenity. A hearty “Good Evening” from New Jersey, USA. XOXOXO
When we moved here, to a nice quiet area, we didn’t realise how many callers we would have trying to sell us things we didn’t want. 🙂