I’m going to give you a rest from my general tales of doctors and disasters, though I will mention that it was very quiet in the shop today. That was because, unlike most retail outlets, we don’t have a Christmas rush. Collectors tend to wait until after Christmas and then come to us to spend their Chritmas money. Today, like most men (because 95% of coin collectors are men) they were being dragged round town by their wives (because 95% of women are far too keen of Christmas).
For proof of that last point I offer Julia as evidence. I went to work this morning. She went to a Christmas Craft Fair in our local park, took pictures of reindeer (and their painted backdrop), then went to the gym, returned home and put the Christmas tree up. I’ve managed to cut us down to a small artificial tree over the years, but still can’t persuade her that 24th is early enough to put it up.
We also had three sales on eBay – yes, we have 1,400+ items on eBay and we sold three. And we couldn’t fulfill one of the orders because the customer added an impossible request by email. We had four more plus a telephone order during the day but it’s hardly a sparkling performance.
After work I picked Julia up and we went for tea and toasted teacakes, did some shopping and one of us read the newspaper while the other one looked at Christmas jumpers. As I read (you surely didn’t expect me to be looking at the red, white and green sparkly monstrosities, did you) I found this story.
I agree that the banana is, as pointed out, a symbol of many things, including (which they didn’t mention) the problems of cloning and monoculture.
If you want your very own copy of this artwork, I’m doing a pre-Christmas special offer of just £1,000, giving you a saving of £90,000 on the price of an original. And for that I’ll even come round to any address on mainland Britain and install it for you.
Or, as part of my newly developed franchise idea, send me £500 and I’ll send you a hand of bananas and a roll of gaffer tape.
I don’t know if I’ll make any sales, but I thought it was worth mentioning in case any of you were looking for an emergency present idea.
I recognise those reindeer – I’m sure I’ve seen them in Leeds. Certainly, the background seems familiar!
Yes, it wouldn’t surprise me. my Dad was visited by a Sheltand pony in the care home and the people with the pony also did reindeer hire. Must be big business, for a month.
Thought that banana artwork was pretty amusing! Eye roll, and then when someone ate it….Priceless!
The brain of an artist is, I feel, a peculiar place. 🙂
Good Lord!
I wish you luck with your scheme, Simon. Hehe!
I’m currently encountering a certain resistance to my sales pitch…
Shame!
Fantastic masks! As for bananas…to my way of thinking they should be eaten as is or made into bread or muffins.
Good point, but the rich quite clearly think differently. 🙁
A banana taped to a wall sells for £90,000? I have been in the wrong business!
Yes, you should have done art, not music! 🙂
I am really tempted by your banana offer but at that price, I would expect you to come round and install it yourself.
I will. The £1,000 offer includes installation anywhere on mainland Britain. The postal offer is for the franchise package, which gives you the chance to set up in the art business for yourself.
I’m not some sort of fly-by-night charlatan…
Thank goodness for that. The £1000 will be yours after installation and a suitable period for me to evaluate the purchase before sending it back….say thirty years.
Just in time for Christmas 2049! That will come in handy.
Haha, really, I mean, really. But fair play to the bananaman 😂
If you go to art school the sky seems to be the limit. 🙂
The banana artist was certainly a comedian
And a rich one…
Indeed
That reminds me I have to put up the Christmas tree.
Plenty of time yet – still 16 days to put the tree up. 🙂
I’d pay for the woven masks, but not the banana. The reindeer are lovely.
We’ve had a number of woven things round town over the last couple of years – shoes, dresses, teddy bear, squirrel, ring in box and lots I can’t remember. Very nice but, I’m told, quite expensive. They are willow but they seem to last.
We had some willow sculptures at Dumbarton Oaks once–one of the last pictures at this link: https://arlingwords.wordpress.com/2011/11/21/dumbarton-oaks-art-and-beauty-around-every-corner/
Thanks for that – an excellent ;post and a nice bit of sculpture. 🙂
Glad you liked it. They have a lot of interesting installations there.
It looks a great place.