I covered this briefly a few days ago, when suggesting Ebay was a bad place to buy a diamond. John Knifton followed up by suggesting it was also a bad place to buy a horse. That immediately took over as Number One on the list. Diamonds, for the moment, are Number Nine on the list. I’m going to put “Things with blurred photos” at Number Ten. I haven’t been on Ebay for a while and the standard of photography seems to have gone down so that many slapdash postings seem to be accompanied by pitifully blurred photographs.
I’ve just bought something with a blurred photograph. I can’t escape the idea that the blur was deliberate.
Here’s an initial plan – let me know if you have any ideas that should be Top Ten.
Horses. Always a tricky thing to buy at the best of time, but with the added problems of internet anonymity and sloppy standards this could be a real problem. Blurred pictures of teeth are a further complication. Anyway, have you really got a big enough garden?
Bomb making manuals. Buying one of these could see you booked into prison for a spot of waterboarding. This sounds like it fits in nicely with surfboarding and snowboarding but don’t be fooled. It doesn’t, despite all you may have heard about prisons getting soft, and it can really make for a bad holiday.
Large amounts of chemical fertiliser. Unless you are a farmer. See above.
So:
- Horses
- Bomb-making manuals
- Chemical fertiliser (large amounts)
- TBA
- TBA
- TBA
- TBA
- TBA
- Diamonds
- Things with blurred photographs
That leaves five slots, and if your suggestions are good enough they could easily displace some of the others.
What are your nominations, or horror stories?
A cup of tea. A massage. Sleep. Nelson’s Column. Newcastle United. Newcastle. Snow. The unfinished novels of Terry Pratchett. The complete works of Barbara Cartland. Jupiter. A left-handed paint brush. Respect. A time machine. Brexit. Ratner’s jewellery. Sterling. Southern Rail. The Best of Black Lace.
It’s a good game this, can we box it and sell it on ebay?
The Best of Black Lace would at least be cheap to post. 🙂
An empty envelope?
With just a faint trace of Agadoo dispersing gently as you peel back the flap…
A gavel
Ironic obsolescence…
🙂
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Any thing labelled “for parts” because you can guarantee that the “part” you want is the “part” that’s broken on the thing for sale!
Excellent point. I will add that.
I remember going to scrapyards in my youth and finding all the cars I looked at had the same part missing. The part I needed. 🙂
I once bought a horse, long before eBay. I was told he was 8 years old, but later found out he was 16. He was a very young and fit 16. 🙂
It just shows how difficult it can be. 🙂
A Jacob Rees-Mogg leadership bid? But then I don’t think anyone will buy that.
But then you’d have said that about his election as MP too.
Perhaps but as I didn’t get the offer to elect him it doesn’t matter.
Thomas Hardy or perhaps the Mayor of Casterbridge would have said “A wife”.
Yes, I do believe he would. Have to agree that it would be a bad choice of venue for obtaining a wife. That might have to go in at Number One. 🙂
An object where just a section of it is obscured by the edge of the photograph or even an object. That was the bit that just wasn’t there.
🙂
Betamax videos and Russian Brides could be a bit ‘iffy’ 😀
Charity shops round here won’t even take VHS anymore. Yes, I think Russian brides need to go to the top.
Lol 😀
Will be waiting for the TBAs to be filled in 😉
We already have two nominations for “wives”. 🙂
Goodness!