Quick note – the antibiotics are working and I’m near enough free of pain, but as I’m writing about Wednesday night and Thursday I thought I’d go for sympathy via a heart-rending title.
My reward for demonstrating fortitude was a letter to Harvey 2 ward at the City Hospital. That was where, a month previously, my tale had started. It was also, give or take, quarter of a mile away from where I had started my journey that morning.
I got there before my notes did, and was shunted off to the Day Room of Despond. That’s not its official title, it’s just my description. I’ve been thinking of John Bunyan since reading Mr Standfast, and this seemed as good a time as any to get a reference in.
It’s also a chance to roll out my new literary project. I’m thinking of an historical crime series set in late 17th century England and written in a hard-boiled American style under the pen name Damon Bunyan. Yes, first the temperature comes down, then the puns return…
By the time I was finally called through to the ward I was quite comfortable in my recliner in the day room. The chair in the ward was quite painful to sit as the…er…swelling got in the way. It was also bad for my swollen and infected foot because I couldn’t put it up. Still, no matter, as I would be lying down soon. Apart from one thing…
Either a rule has changed in the last month, or I have put weight on, as I am now officially too fat to lie on an ordinary hospital bed.
It did, at least, allow me to hear this classic gem of English recalcitrance when I asked if I could just lie on the bed for a while.
“It’s more than my job’s worth to let you lie on that bed.”
I’ve never actually heard that in real life before, just in comedy scripts.
Fortunately an enterprising junior doctor, anxious for some hands on experience , found that the bed in the triage room was strong enough for me. He and his senior colleague explained that the abscesses needed draining and that it was probably better to avoid anaesthetic (as in general or spinal), the subtext being that it’s not good for fat people. Local anaesthetic, it appears, does not work well on abscesses. This left one choice, involving just a stiff upper lip and a large measure of macho insouciance.
“The procedure,” said the senior doctor, “is not without discomfort.”
He was correct. It was, I can confirm, an experience that had moments of discomfort.
Part 3 will cover the rest of the stay, the arrival of the bed and the unfortunate occurrence with the cannula.
Phew! What a time you are having. Hope you are soon well with no fevers, swelling, or infection.
I’m feeling better. In fact I’m feeling downright cranky and resentful, which is my normal state. 🙂
yay!!!!
🙂
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Goodness me, you are in the ways. I hope there will soon be an to the swelling and abscesses.
I’m hoping that all will be sorted in a week or two. But I did think that a month ago. 🙂
😊
A genuine jobsworth and no anaesthetic….you are monopolising the nation’s fund of fun.
I am happy to share it round if anyone wants to share. 🙂
I think you should change that novel to one where someone with sinister intent – dressed as an eager intern – puts the hapless “larger boned” victim in one of those lighter framed beds. The plot thickens! Hope you have a speedy recovery.
🙂 🙂 🙂 I’m feeling more cheerful already!
I hope that the “it’s more than my job’s worth” comment was accompanied by a sucking of air through the teeth!
Sadly it wasn’t , though, like you, I can here it in my mind. 🙂
You just gotta laugh
Indeed you do – sometimes it;s the only thing left! 🙂
Damon Bunyan indeed! I laughed, but only at this and not your plight. I’m glad you gave that nice note at the beginning to let us know all was well. There was a mystery series 20 years back that featured an 18th century dandy. The author’s name was Kate Ross. Unfortunately she died after three or four books, so there are no more. Writing was not hardboiled, though and of course, you’re going for the prior century I think. Hope you’re much better now!
Yes, much better now thanks. Not just the “affected area” but joints, foot , energy and thinking are all much better and less painful. Fingers crossed…
It hurts just to read this post, Quercus! I am glad they found a bed strong enough for the job, and I hope your recovery is a speedy one. Your upcoming Part 3 report also sounds painful. 🙁
Worry not, Part Three is full of frustrations but free of further pain.
A Jobsworth! Ugh! I await part three with bated breath.
I’ve never seen a jobsworth in its natural element before. 🙂
I think you’d earn yourself a full 4 points in an I-Spy book for one of those!
They have been declining since the 1970s. 😉